The Next Chapter

Craft Closet Compact.....

2011-11-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

I used to have a full size closet in a seperate room for storing all my craft goodies in, but since we've moved, the areas of our house are having to do double (triple?) duty. So our guest room, which is only used occasionally for guests is my music room, yoga studio and now also my craft room - in the closet! So I've had to sort and organize my odds'n ends to the 'nth' degree and now I'm ready to show it off.

I made a little card today in it and one thing I've realized from the experience is that I'm going to have to really clean as I go. Tidy, tidy, tidy!!! My mantra. So here are a few pictures for your inspection. Do you think it will do?

Kid Pictures for Great Grandma and Everyone Else

2011-10-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

I just thought you might like to see a few more pictures of the weekend. Playgrounds, beaches, and just plain cute kids. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

Can You Hear the Punkin People Laughing?

2011-10-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

I know that this is pretty much a family blog and so I'm not interested in drawing strangers into it's sphere of influence (pretentious aren't I?), but I'm still having the hardest time trying to figure out how to get going here. I think it's a little like the artist who stands frozen in front of the huge, blank, white canvas, unable to make that first mark. I think all of us have these kind of moments. Fear of failure, rejection, fear of being the boring guy that everyone loves to avoid......how many ways are there to overcome this kind of anxiety? There must be some tried and true methods and one day, maybe I'll do a little research and tell you what I've found, but for today, maybe I shall be happy enough to quietly sidestep into this post, as I've done here.

The marks have been made and they all lead back to one thing. They take me back to the weekend, they take me back to the sound of Liam, happily announcing from his place beside his Pappa, "the punkin people are lauging" and followed by his little example giggle! So adorable and so wonderful how he insists always on sitting by Pappa. And those brush strokes that are the colors of my memories, take me back to the sensation of little Elsa, reaching up with chubby baby hands to pat my cheek as I snuggled her close and absorbed her sweetness. Surely moments of pink and gold amidst the feelings of love.....we were wonderfully blessed by spending time with Kim and Oliver and Liam and Elsa.

One of the nearby towns decorates every Fall with 'Pumpkin People' which are really just scarecrows with pumpkins for heads. But not just one or two, here and there, but large groups, with themes, and all over town. There was a Transformers group, and a wedding party, and the standard scarey Halloween bunch, and knights and horses and robots and moms shopping for groceries.... and Liam wanted to stop and see every one. And some were too scarey, but some were ok, and I think we stopped to see a lot of them and soon even the scarey ones weren't so bad.

There's a beach near our house, covered with the most fascinating collection of rocks that have speckles and streaks and crystals of color. We spent a couple hours there, filling our pockets and a rather large plastic bag with tiny treasurers. Liam didn't collect, but he threw rocks and he threw more rocks and then even more rocks. I don't think he stopped the whole time we were there and he had a ball because for a change, no one was telling him not to throw rocks. Apparently that's one of his favourite things to do right now. Who knows, maybe he just amazes himself with the prowess of his throwing arm and it makes him feel like he's strong!

And then the weekend was over, and they had to leave, and the house seemed so quiet. But November is coming and Elsa's birthday and we plan to be there for cupcakes and baby hugs and little boy wrestling matches.

All my darlings are getting old(er).......

2011-07-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

It's 5:30 in the morning and I can hear the birds staking their claims, warning off rivals, expressing their joy at simply being alive. It rained hard during the night but now the air feels fresh and clean and the dirt that was so dry and powdery is a dark chocolatey brown and the sound of myriad tiny drops of water falling down, from leaf to leaf is the chorus behind the bird songs.

I'm out early this morning because there's no hay left in the feeder and I want Ambra and Sierra to spend a few hours out on the grass before the heat of the day brings the flies back out of their hiding places. They just watch me as I pass their stalls on the way to opening the gate. I expected that they would follow after me, eager to get out to the grass after the long night of taking refuge from the rain but they don't. Strange. So I've had to go back and lead them out.

But as I take the bottom of Sierra's halter and begin to lead her I realize one more time, how old my darling has suddenly gotten. Her steps are halting and she moves each foot with hesitation. I'm reminded of the old people that shuffle behind their walkers. When did this happen? When did her bones begin to ache so much that it takes her time to warm up and begin to move easier? Because she will warm up, and her movements will become more fluid and it will be easier for her. Ambra doesn't seem to suffer like this as much, she walks easily still.

They are both 21 years old now and I thought that they had many more years ahead of them and yet here are the signs of that old age that I didn't expect - yet. The one downside to this paddock that they live in now is that it is a bit of a hillside and I wonder how they will navigate this in the years to come. But one thing I have learned in the past fifteen years of having them in our lives is that it is senseless to worry about tomorrow or next year or......I'll figure that out when it comes. In the meantime, I will make a point of spending a little bit of time each day, encouraging them to move, encouraging them to get a little exercise, encouraging them to keep on living.

Early Photos of our New Home

2011-07-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

We love our new home!!!! We love the house, we love the area, we love the weather, we love the lack of bugs, we love the birds.....we love our new home! Yessiree, this last move was a good one. The only downside is that instead of it taking only two plus hours to get to Kim and Olivers, it is now about five hours if you take the ferry over to PEI. That makes me sad, because it would be so great to see the kids (big and little) more often. But it is what it is and thank goodness for cheaper long distance rates, especially when Liam eventually is more willing to talk on the phone and of course, Elsa in her time.

But as for our new home, I thought that I would put some pictures up here, so that you could see them. Now keep in mind, these pictures were taken about two months ago, just after we moved in. I would have posted them sooner but I couldn't find the little wire for connecting my camera to the computer and so any pictures I took were 'stuck' if you know what I mean. But I finally accepted that I might never find the wire (which I really should have tucked away in an obvious spot for the move) and I bought a new one and so here we are with those photos. I should maybe have taken some new pictures, but my house is a bit messy because I've been spending more time outside trying to get things squared away with fences and so on, so for now these will have to do. And maybe next time I put indoor pictures up, the curtains will be hung by then. I'll also get some outdoor pictures for next time, but today the weather is grey and overcast and not good for pictures. Anyway, here we go.....

Moving, Pain and Beautiful Views.

2011-05-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting on the couch for most of the day, leg elevated, periodically freezing it with a bag of peas and yes, today we were loading the trailer up yet again with boxes to take over to the new house. Actually, let me correct that last bit, I was helping load the trailer until I missed the last three steps as we brought down a mattress from the guest room. The only injury was my ankle, my teeth and my face are intact and no broken bones. Just my ankle and my composure suffered. So here I am, laid up and in the midst of a big move that Don and I were very nicely managing on our own. We've already brought over most of the outside stuff and now it's time for house things and then this! But I iced and elevated it immediately and I think that even as soon as tomorrow it will be much better and I will be able to get involved again.

As for our new house, it is fabulous. Frustrating as we found the process of choosing fixtures and so on, it has all turned out really well. And the light, oh my gosh! the light is lovely in there. Even on a gloomy day it is bright and we love it and we're looking forward to living there so much. Once things have settled down, I'll post some more photos. The one this is included with this post is the view from our living room window. It is not a very large pond, but it is currently home to a pair of mallards and in a couple months will have both pink and yellow water lilies adding to the prettiness. So whether it is winter or spring or summer or fall, it will be gorgeous.

Our contractor Darrell was also wonderful to work with. We've all heard contractor horror stories, but this is not one of those. He's been great, totally capable, efficient, is willing to work with us on 'ideas' and on time. The worst part of this whole process has been the difficulty that Don and I had in choosing things. But we're almost done and then the work of prettying up our new place begins. Such fun!!!!

Picking a Site for Raspberries

2011-04-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Gardening season is looming and we are all champing at the bit I'm sure. And while the evenings and even the days for that matter are far too cold yet to actually put stuff out even if you are living on the west coast of Canada it is a good time to make some plans and come up with ideas. The gardening magazines are beginning to appear at the checkout in supermarkets and they are a great source for ideas and products. I used to buy those all the time because the photos were so darn appealing. Made you want to run out and dig something up and move it. Don used to joke that my plants, including trees, should be on wheels because I moved things so often.

Last year, I became aware of an issue in my own garden, something that I was going to change in the spring. And if I'd stayed here, where we are living now, I would be making the necessary adjustments, but we're moving in a month and when I do a new garden this is definitely going to be factored in. When we first moved here, I dug up an area of meadow behind the house and this was my garden. And on the one end of it, I included a row of raspberries. The first year they were slow and only setting in roots. What I didn't realize is that raspberries spread by underground runners and in their second year, I was finding raspberries all over the row next to theirs. I'm sure that if they are left there, they will spread even further and it will become an ongoing nuisance. Raspberries growing in the asparagus bed and the carrots and everywhere else. If I were staying here, I'd be taking them out and resettling them.

At this point, here's my take on raspberries in the home garden. Take up the sod in a long row and make it 18 to 24 inches wide. I would use landscape ties or something like that to edge the bed, or perhaps that plastic lawn edging stuff that keeps the grass from growing into your raspberry planting. Add enough soil that the surface is once again level with whatever you've edged it with. At each end of your row set in a couple of posts and in the middle too if the row is long enough to need additional support there for the wires that you will attach your canes to as the plants grow. I would set my plants in at whatever distance apart the package tells you too, and then cover the top of the soil with sawdust or some kind of mulch to keep the soil moist underneath. Once your new or recently moved plants have had time to settle in again, they will do what comes naturally which is to send suckers out all over the place. The only difference now is that when you mow your lawn up and down the sides of your row, you will trim them off and they won't be going where you don't want them. This effectively restricts them to their own place. A lot easier than spending the summer trying to dig the silly things out of the other veggies without causing havoc and mayhem in the rest of the garden.

Hope this helps as you plot and plan and good luck with the weather, the only thing we have no control over.

THE Most Delicious, Ugly Mushroom Sauce,

2011-04-20T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is not a company dish. Let me start off by giving that opinion. Dark green spinach leaves in a salad are ok, or even in a little steamed heap, green lettuce is ok, but for some reason, the appearance of this delicious pasta sauce is just a little off-putting. And really, I think that deleting the offending ingredient so that the sauce is more appetizing to look at, would also lessen the taste appeal. So what can you do? You mix it up and learn to like the sight of a bright green pasta sauce.

So here's the recipe and I'm almost positive (99.5%) that you will love this as much as I did. Here I don't post for ages and suddenly twice in one day! Go figure. Anyway, I'm going to write down the recipe for you here and it gives me a chance to write it down before I forget what I did to get this yumminess. So enjoy the sauce folks:

Mushroom Parsley Sauce

(could be served over pasta or any vegetable dish)

1/2 cup fresh parsley
1/2 cup water
1/2 vegetable soup cube (or to taste)
2 cups chopped mushrooms
1/4 tsp Herb de Provence
1 tbsp Nutritional Yeast
1/4 cup coconut cream

Take note here: If you don't have coconut cream, then sub the water for coconut milk and you could add a few more mushrooms just to make sure you get enough of their thickening power in the sauce.

Chop up the mushrooms and saute til tender
Put all ingredients, including the sauteed mushrooms
Blend til creamy.
Return to pan, cover and warm til needed.

So there you are, and yes it is bright green, but it's good for you and (maybe even a learning experience). So if you try it and like it, let me know---or not---and enjoy the day. There's gotta be something good about it; maybe a new and easy recipe!

I just want to say that I borrowed these beautiful photos from another site and I couldn't see anywhere that said they had to be purchased, so I thought you might enjoy seeing someones wonderful talent.

A Semi-Clean Break

2011-04-20T09:47:00.001-07:00

I was just looking at the date of my last post and it's been a long time! My gosh time flies when you're having fun doesn't it? But in that time, I've made changes, started some things and finished others. One of the things that I decided to do was change the focus of my blog and to that end, just to make it a 'semi-clean' break, I have actually started a new blog. You can find it here, http://quarkspiritualstuf.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-all-just-opinion-isnt-it.html The blog you are looking at now will be maintained (and I do promise to try and keep it up better than of late)and will be more along the lines of what is going on in our day to day life for the benefit of family, and the new one will focus on my philosophies and viewpoints as regards the environment, the economy, spiritual stuff and so on. And in the spirit of my developing outlook on life, you may enjoy the new blog, or you may not, but it's all ok with me, because after all, we are all welcome to our differing perspectives. Besides, those various viewpoints all lend themselves to creation of a fascinating world right?

Latest art....

2011-02-04T09:55:00.001-08:00

A few pictures of a recent art project. Polymer clay over an armature and painted to finish.

Beginning the Cycle Again!

2011-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

So one more time, we begin the cycle of packing, moving, unpacking. Will it never end!!! At this point, I've given up saying never again. There must be something about living in a state of anxiety/anticipation that we find titillating. So there, we're moving again. Mind you it won't be until May but there's much to do before we get to that moment. We're planning our own little house, nothing elaborate, but keeping a few things in mind. Things like, almost no windows on the North Side which is also protected by a windbreak of 30 feet worth of trees, and the other side of the house, situated directly south facing will have windows the full length of it. Extra insulation in the ceiling, insulating foam on the exterior and an on demand hot water system. Little things like that will make the house a little bit environmentally worthy. So lots to think about and plan we'll keep you posted.

And PS: it's snowing today and I was planning on going into town today, but I think I'll wait. Sure is pretty to look at and not even really cold, only about 0 degrees.

Liam the photographer

2010-12-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

And just so sweet Liam doesn't feel left out, here are some recent ones that I took the day that Pappa came to pick me up. He had brought his camera so that he could take pictures of Elsa and Liam was just obsessed with it. That little fellow is so quick with electronics! I tried to put a movie on for him and he had to come and show me which buttons to press to get it going. So anyway, Don's camera was all he wanted to play with. And because he is so cute and so insistent, it wasn't long before he had Pappa showing him how to take a picture. Look at how intent he is and he looks through the right hole and presses the right button. We kept telling him to take a picture of our face because it seemed that the camera was always pointing down. Then Kim figured out that he didn't know what a face was, he knows eyes, nose, mouth but he didn't know that collectively they made up a face. Once we straightened him out on that detail, then he pointed the camera up high enough and managed to get a couple shots that weren't all that bad (for a three year old). It was so much fun. Anyway, here they are, student and teacher, for you to enjoy.

More Elsa.....

2010-12-21T13:50:00.000-08:00

Few more pictures of the new little munchkin Elsa. She is of course older (two weeks) now but this is all I've got so far. Maybe after Christmas day I'll put some more here for Great Grandma to look at. Enjoy!

Congratulations Kim and Oliver

2010-12-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

Personally, I've always found phrases like "we're pregnant" or "a new little person in the world" a little odd. Men are never pregnant, don't care how you look at it, they just aren't. As for "a new little person in the world", well really, that little person was in the process of getting big enough to survive without the enfolding of their mom, who happens to be in the world, so really, they were in the world in some form from conception on. But the difference is that now we get to see them, hear them and snuggle them even if we aren't mom. This preamble is just leading up to introducing a newly visible little person to the rest of the world.

Her name is Elsa Jane Naumann and she was born on November 28th, 2010 at 7:14am and she weighed in at 9 pounds, 2 ounces. As you can see by the photos, she is very cute and has lovely auburn hair and sweet little fat cheeks. What a darling and bonus!!! she has all her fingers and toes and a great appetite. So let's all send a big congratulatory hug to Kim and Oliver and Liam! Wahooo!

New Art

2010-11-17T11:15:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks ago, I said that I was getting busy again with my art and that in short order I would have something to show for that busy-ness and while the project that I was working on turned out to be a complete wash-out, I finally have something else to show for my time spent. As you can see, my sculpture is not finished, a ways to go yet, but a good start. At this point, I'm not quite sure what direction it will take, she does need some clothes, but whether I will use fabric like some do or whether I will make clothing out of polymer I don't know. I'm kind of stalled but am also hoping that if I sit and stare at "her" long enough, something will pop into my head. The only other hurdle is that seeing what I'm doing is tough. I'm going to try a different lamp and maybe that will eliminate some of the glare. Oh age, how thou doest interfere and make mine life a tribulation!!! Oh well, it might just force me to loosen up in my style a bit. Just trying to be positive.

When the lion lays down with the lamb.....

2010-11-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

As they wakened, they felt the warm air brushing against their bare skin, the tickle of grasses that made up their sheltering bed coaxing them to wakefulness. In the trees and underbrush around them, the sound of birds laying claim to their territories added a sense of music to the joyous beginnings of the new day. He stood and then reached for her hand, drawing her up to join him in the beginning of this first day of all the days to come. They were watched, without fear, by the other beings who lived in this beautiful place. At their feet a small furry rabbit pushed through those same grasses that had touched them as they stirred restlessly and on the edge of the small meadow wherein their soft grass bed was located, another being with grey-brown hair on its body and hard bone protruding from it's head stepped out from the shadows of the woods and into the sunshine. It's large brown eyes were peaceful and without fear as it walked up to them, reaching out to nuzzle their hands as it sought to taste the slight saltiness of their palms. They touched its soft fur, ran their hands over its horns, marvelling at the softness and the hardness of it. And the birds sang for them as they rejoiced, one and all, in the glory of this new world.

There is only one thing that can be counted on consistently and that is that everything changes. And so it was, that out of their own actions, the world changed and the first death came to that peaceful place and the other beings that once shared their joyfulness, became afraid and learned to hide. And the world became a place of misery and darkness, hunger and pain, sorrow and fear. The centuries pass, one by one, a day at a time. Each day filled with anguish as it's whole, but with tiny points of lightness to keep the flame of hope alive. Every point of light pointing to the next sign post, each one drawing the people along the hard road that had become their lot, with the hope and belief that one day, there will come that time of great renewal and the world will once again be filled with rejoicing. And in that day, death will become a memory, and the lion will lay down with the lamb and peace will again reign as the people and the creatures walk together again with no fear. And when the people remember the dark age that came before this new time of peace, they will ask themselves, if we knew what first was and looked forward to that coming again, and if we knew that it was our own actions that caused death to come into the world, why then did we spend all those generations indulging in and excusing and using, the evil that was the result of our own actions, all the while mourning for what was lost?

*Motive is everything. Objectives determine outcomes. Life proceeds out of your intention. Your true intention is revealed in your actions, and your actions are determined by your true intention. As with everything in life (and in life itself), it is a circle.*

So I ask you, what are the true objectives that are determining the current outcomes of suffering and torment that lays like a filthy rag across the surface of this planet? There is an ongoing weeping and crying out for "peace, peace, where is the love" but instead of the world finding these things, there is only continual sorrow for men, women, children and most creatures of this world. When the actions of man are considered with honesty, our true intentions are revealed and our objectives are laid bare in the light of day and going by what we see, there is no desire for a return to Paradise lost and the Kinship that went with it especially as the decision to match ones actions to ones desire for (a loving and safe and joyous world), might mean that we have to begin respecting the rights of everything to live without pain or torment, just as we would hope to live.

To live in this world, but to not be of it, is an objective. When we pray for Godliness in the hopes that we will be uplifted, and yet justify the pain and death that sin causes in this world, by pointing to tradition or habit, then how can we feel a true inner peace when we are practitioners of violence. That first death to cover nakedness was not permission to do more harm, but should have been taken as an example of what our selfishness and lack of thought had caused. Every sacrifice a picture of what those actions had wrought. Each of us must begin to live as though we individually do live in that world which first was, and as the numbers of gentle souls grows, so too will 'heaven' spread across the face of the globe. And by our examples, we will show the world the Creator as the source of love and life and one by one, more will be drawn to that joy.

*Taken from Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch*

Chocolate Bananas

2010-11-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

Frozen bananas! What a concept! They can be the basis for an ice cream substitute that has no equal. No saturated fat, no excessive added sugar and filled with vitamins and minerals. Loaded with potassium, vitamin B6, manganese, magnesium, vitamin C and fiber and complete with their own biodegradable packaging, how can you beat bananas? And when they are combined with an avocado which provides vitamins A,C,D,E,K, thiamine,riboflavin, niacin, B6 and folate as well as protein and fiber, you have an award winning mixture. Ice cream on the other hand provides you with an abundance of saturated fat, sodium, cholestrol, sugar, the difference is evident. I will grant you that ice cream also does provide you with some calcium and protein, but the fact is that the presence of the protein is going to limit how much of that calcium is actually absorbable by the human body. Weighed in the balance, I would say that the banana sorbet is actually a better choice if you are considering the health benefits.

Fortunately, you can also have taste as well and I'm happy to say that I've got my "chocolate ice cream" back! Wahoo. I've found that the important thing to remember is to pop the bananas into the freezer just at that optimum moment of ripeness, barely ripe but not overly, unless of course you are doing a fruit flavoured dessert and so don't mind the banana flavouring. But my heart belongs to chocolate so once I've frozen the bananas, I take them out of the freezer, remove the peels and pop the chunks into the food processor along with some peanut butter, cocoa, a wee bit of vanilla flavoring and a couple tablespoons of maple syrup and half an avocado. Whiz that up until it's all moving smoothly around the fod processor bowl. I did find that a bit of rice milk helps to move things along a bit in the event that the bananas are a bit bigger than usual. And when satisfied with the consistency, dish it up and enjoy. I think the idea of eating a vegan diet exclusively frightens most people. They think only of the tastes that they'll be giving up, not realizing that there are substitions for many of those as well as an amazing array of new tastes that they've never considered. So I've found a wonderful way to get my chocolate, without even a single pang of guilt, in fact to actually feel like I'm doing myself a favour.

Do give it a try and I'll include the ingredients list here for those who've got food processors. You could try making it in small amounts in a blender but I can't say for sure how well that would work because of the different dimensions.

Ingredients:

3 frozen bananas, peeled and cut into smaller chunks
1/2 avocado
2 tablespoons peanut butter
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 teaspoons cocoa (or to taste)
1-2 tablespoons rice milk (as needed)

I hope that I haven't given you this recipe before because that would mean that I'm beginning to suffer from "repetitive story" syndrome! Will you tell me, or will you humor me and listen to the chocolate sorbet story one more time? Anyway my dears, enjoy being nice to your body....and I'll talk to you again.

Ripples and Eddies and Ebbing and Flowing.....

2010-10-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

The setting sun is like a spotlight on the horizon, making shadows that lay long on the grass and the dwindling leaves on the maples and yellow birches seem to have a more brilliant glow than in an afternoon light. The purple and pink clouds are pale against a pale blue sky and they move slowly and almost imperceptably across the spreading twilight. Soon the light will be gone and then one by one, the glinting stars will be there, resting as though jewels against the jewellers black velvet cloth. The end of October, almost November, then ..... and another year passed through. There have been times when I felt as though I was stepping lightly and easily, and then other moments when it was tough going, a mental struggle more than anything but different enough from the former as to cause notice. And whether this imbalance was due to this or that, I feel blessed to say that the days of joy and peace were more, much more than the other.

Taking that into consideration, and then including into the mix that this year has been, the bugs and the weather,I notice that I've sort of laid aside for just a time, a few things that I had been occupying my mind with. Somehow I began to feel like I needed to rest myself, pace myself more. And so the blog was left behind. I guess that's the way it is for most things unless you are the really focused type who can limit themselves to a fewer numbers of interests whereas I admit to having an inability to say no to new things to do. Too many names on the dance card, if you know what I mean.... Another thing that I'd laid aside for a while was art. Busy-ness and a mental dry spell creatively speaking, and I haven't really done much in that regard for a few years. But I think that may be coming back and perhaps in a week or so I'll have something to show.

The point is this, I think that when it comes to our interest or things that we must do, there is an ebb and flow just like the seasons and the best thing to do is to just accept that never ending rhythm to our natural lives and our very being and float right along with it. Just as spring necessitates planting and nurturing little garden plants and fall brings lawn rakes and putting away and tidying up in preparation for the next spring, so to do we mentally, spiritually go through a constant state of flux, of reshaping and refinement, particularly when we have an actually awareness of our life, our being. That conscious appreciation of our existence in this moment, right now, when taken with you each step of every day can be the beginning of an ability to remember the joy that each and every one of us has come out of. We've have replaced that joy with a forgetfulness that has obscured the connection that exists between us all and indeed between the Universe and humanity and the races, the planet that we live on, the waters and all the creatures that walk this world with us....yes, we've forgotten. But I have faith that there is a change coming and I think the odds are 50/50, that things are heading in a direction that will bring a growing awareness of the necessity for compassion and love and acceptance amongst all of us human beings. And perhaps being human will begin to mean that we all realize that each moment is an opportunity to be the grandest version of our greatest vision about ourselves, and without thinking, we'll seize that moment. And our contribution to the world will be an island of harmony, because after all, we're moving with the ebb and flow, not against it. And if by some bizarre and unexpected miracle, all of humanity could be convinced of the need for this change and so follow through, then think in amazement of a world of harmony, not just a one man island here or there.

Silence

2010-10-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

Today I'm alone. That sounds strange to say…."today I am alone". Those particular words don't enter into my vocabulary in that order very often. And I am a person who doesn't mind my own company, but since we retired, I am rarely "alone". Don had a doctor's appointment in Amherst (pronounced 'Amerst') so he went, and I stayed. I was out in the garden mowing the lawn and then moving some things around…preparing for winter you know. All very pleasant. And when I got bored with doing that and had finished putting things like my little hand rake and wheelbarrow and whatever else I might have gotten out, --when I had put away those things, I knocked the dirt off my boots and went in. I put my coat in the closet and then went to wash the garden from my hands, and as the water spilled out of the tap and rinsed the bubbles away, I caught myself thinking how quiet it was and perhaps I'd go and put some music on.

And as I caught myself thinking that, I realized in almost the same moment, the other side of the coin as it were, that the idea of letting the silence reign, seemed difficult and odd, and I must confess, for a moment it made me feel a teeny, tiny bit anxious. Now I know that sounds silly………..but if you try it yourself, you just might find that you too, experience some unusual sensations. And of course I think you might agree that the reason for that is that by and large, our whole society rarely looks for the meaning of their lives in the quiet of their own mind, but instead we surround ourselves with television, and movies, and Ipods and videos on our computers, telephones and singing cards, and by our identifying one version of this or that, we identify ourselves, who we are, what we like, what kind of personality type we have. Choose classical music, long walks in the countryside, good books from the Bestsellers List, and we become an intellectual or a more cerebral individual. Choose rap music and accessorize with baggy pants and backward hats, or too much jewellery and too short skirts and we assume the appropriate tag, and it is obvious to all, who we think we are.

Turning all of those noisy and distracting things off is the opportunity to begin to know yourself in a different way and understand not only why you are like you are, but how to pare away old you and find the new and improved you that can only wait for its opportunity to emerge.

So this past year has been a time of doing that, paring away. I'm a lot more peaceful in my spirit now. Just as when I was worried as a child that nobody loved me and afraid that I would find out that it was true or that the unforeseen and unthinkable would happen to me, and so avoided situations that might be 'dangerous', I think that I've done the same in my adult life. Don has been my protector and my encourager through all my dark years and moods and I'm so grateful to him for his love and kindness. And in spite of his care, so many of my years were wasted in the emotional landscape of doom and gloom.

Fifty-five years, and it has taken that long for the clouds to begin to break and thin, but my new way of looking at all that 'wasted' time is that they are a brilliant contrast for the brightening skies in the landscape of my mood. Breaking away from my worrying means turning away from the habit of seeing only the difficulties or trials of life, and so I appreciate the contrast and enjoy the lightness of spirit that fills me more often as the days pass in quiet succession.

So the house is filled with silence and I sit, motionless, listening to it.

Puppies on holiday.

2010-06-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

I think it is my destiny to be the crazy old dog lady when I hit my really-senior years. Kim and Oliver decided that the time had come for them to take a mini-holiday and frankly, if you have to try and manage the needs of a toddler and two dogs, it pretty quickly becomes a non-holiday and sinks more to the level of a "chore away from home". Believe me, I know. This year was the first time that our dogs spent a week in a kennel, but I have to say that Don searched out a place that is more like a five star doggy hotel. Anyway, Kim asked me if I would mind having her two doggies for a few days and because I'm a mom, I said yes ( because isn't that what moms do?). When she asked, she mentioned them staying in our barn so that they wouldn't drive us crazy and part of the reason being that her little Boo has a reputation of being a bully and horribly cranky.

As you can see from the photo above, they are not in the barn, haven't been in there for a moment, and they are getting along famously although Max is quite disappointed that neither of the visitors is particularly playful. I have to thank Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, for the great relations going on here. After Kim and Oliver had left, very shortly after in fact, Boo tried to get a little snotty and she was treated to the "Milan bite" and a very stern "hey", and that was pretty much it. I've reinforced it a couple times, but always with a descelarating sternness. For those of you not familiar with Cesar Milan, he uses the tips of his fingers to give a badly behaving dog a poke just where the side of the neck and shoulders meet, and in a very firm way says no, or in his case, kind of hisses at them. Almost without exception, a couple times of this puts Fido in his place and the bad behaviour soon ends.

So as you can see Kim, your doggies are doing good (or did good depending on when you look at this) and I think it might even have been good for them to have a change of scenery. By the way, do you have any idea how difficult it is to spend time on the computer with buddies like this?

Purrever Ranch

2010-06-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm always touched by stories about people who love animals so much that they are willing to change their lives for them to some degree or another. Today I read about a lady who opened her home to senior and disabled and special needs kitties. While people who go to the shelters to adopt are hot for the cutest balls of fluffy kittenhood, the old girls and guys sit in their little steel cages, watching and waiting, as once again, they're passed by. Despite the fact that they have as much love to offer as the little guys, no one wants them. As I read the story of Rita in Tennessee saving the first cat that she named Special, I couldn't help but cry just a little bit. With so much that is so wrong in our world, this lady followed her heart and has been doing small acts of compassion ever since. How wonderful!

So I've included the link here in case you are interested in reading about her and her kitties as well as pictures of some of the residents of Purrever Ranch.
http://lovemeow.com/2010/06/purrever-ranch-cat-hospice/comment-page-1/#comment-8772

Moncton to BC and back again....

2010-06-02T14:17:00.000-07:00

I sense myself moving into that group that often remembers what happened ten years, fifteen years, twenty years ago with ease, while thinking of yesterday brings nothing. So in the spirit of making note somewhere, I'm going to remember, with you, our first trip back to BC, back (home?) since we moved to Nova Scotia.

Holly came for a week, without Sean, to be a kid again, with her mom and dad for just a while before she started a new life as a fully fledged grownup and a new homeowner. At least that is what she told her grandmother. And we loved having her and pretending with her that our little girl had never left. We took a trip to Wolfville, , discovered a great little vegetarian restaurant, found out about ticks and shared recipes and time. Don and I loved it and I can only hope that Holly did too. But every good time must end and on the 26th of May, we three flew out of Moncton to BC. Taking Holly home and going ourselves to see what changes had occurred in the last three years and most specially, spending time with people we love and think of every day.

The first full day there, was with Holly in Whistler and I had forgotten how magnificent the mountains are! Holly and Sean are so lucky to be spending their lives in a place that is brimming with natural beauty. And we got to see where they will be living when their apartment is completed and the mountains and pines and the rushing little river that is a stones throw from their front door is breathtaking!!! I am so envious, but after the place that they have been living in for the past year and the hardwork that they have done to save the down payment, they absolutely deserve it all.

That first night we unwittingly chose a hotel room that turned out to be right over the front entrance to Wild Bills Pub. Nice little room - until the bar opened.....Word of advice, don't stay at the Adara Hotel and that is all I will say. After that we discovered Hotwire.com and from that point on each night was an adventure. We were in the Bayshore Inn, The Executive Suites and the Hilton in Richmond. Very, very nice rooms and affordable because we'd gotten them through Hotwire.com which is a service that sells hotels empty rooms at a reduced rate. And Andy and Monika invited us to spend a night with them and that was the best of all because we got to spend the evening with them as well as the next morning just catching up on what was going on with them and their girls. Thank you Andy and Monika for the bed and the breakfast and the friendship! We're really glad that we know you and you two are up at the top of our list of "Things We Miss About BC".

We'd also gotten in touch with two friends whom we'd been terribly close to when we were all in our teens and early twenties. On the Friday we had lunch with Laurie at the Banana Leaf Restaurant and the following day with Sheila at Earls in Coquitlam. Fifteen years apart and we slipped back into the comfortableness of shared experiences as though it was yesterday. It seems to me that the friendships that we make when we are young are stronger than the new ones that come along in our greying years. Exceptions to that rule of course, but generally speaking that seems to be the way. And of course, we spent a day with my mom and with Aunt Gertie. We talked and laughed and managed to keep Aunt Gertie up and going without a nap at all, until it was even past the time she usually retired for the evening. Of course I couldn't tell you what we talked about, but who really cares because what was the most important thing was the time together. So wonderful and the most important reason for being there, family and friends!

I'm so glad that we went and aside from the relationships, the thing that I discovered that I missed the most, was the gardens of BC. The abundance and lushness and the hugeness and the colors, and the variety and I could go on and on and on! Here, very few people, except perhaps in Halifax in a few areas, people don't garden. A shrub here and there, and vast and impeccable lawns (oh my gosh you should see the lawns), but no "gardens" and I miss them. I wonder if it is because of the black flies that plague you when you try to do a bit of work outdoors from June thru the end of August? Because I'm retired, I can get out there in the morning and do what I want to do, but others who work aren't so fortunate and their time after work coincides with the ravenous appetites of the dreaded black flies.

Yes we saw changes in BC. Building and more building and rows of houses that seemed to go on for miles up streets that cut through what used to be the bush areas around Langley and high rises going up downtown, replacing the ones that used to be there and the traffic that hummed and buzzed and crawled and careened! And when we drove home from the airport after we'd picked up the dogs it was like night and day. I miss BC and I don't, but I'm glad we went.

On Meditation and Routines....

2010-05-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

I am definitely a person for whom the word "routine" was coined. I get up, let out the dogs, make the coffee, let in the dogs, feed the dogs, sit with the dogs and my computer, drink my coffee, eat the same cereal every morning, feed Ambra and Sierra and then I do something that I started doing about a year ago. I go upstairs and I meditate for half an hour. Through that practice I've learned to quiet the hyper-activity of my mind and allow a space for the power of creation to come in and lift me up, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It's helped me dial down the negativity and sadness that used to and still tries, with less and less success, to flood my being with sorrow and sometimes anger. There was a point where I wished for someone to whom I could turn, who understood my feelings because they too have been there, someone who could help me find my way out of the blackness because they've done that, someone that I could feel had such deep wisdom that their answers could become mine. But I am a realist and I know myself and I know that an "attachment " like that, i.e. teacher, guru, pastor, mentor, whatever you choose to call it, would soon have me feeling constricted and I'd begin to look for a way out.

As my early days of meditation began to become part of my routine and as I slowly, very slowly, learned to at least turn down the chatter in my mind, and as I started reading the words of others who'd gone down this road of searching for their reason for being here, in this world, at this time, a small trickle of ideas began to circulate in my head. And I quit looking for that someone to guide me as I realized that I needed to learn to be that person that I needed, that fount of wisdom, that peaceful leader, that gentle guide. That's not to say that I will get there by myself, merely that I need to be open to and looking for perfection and love everywhere and in everyone, instead of searching for someone to "give" that gift to me, someone who could facilitate an instant gratification of discovering my connection to all that is, someone to tell me what to do!

So I read, and I meditate, and I watch myself to discover the reasons why and how I react the way I do and whether I could have done a better job of reaching for that grandest vision of myself that I can come up with. At this point, I am pleased to report that I am changing and growing and finding the inner peace that we all claim to want in our lives, but so often fail to find. And as I begin to understand my own actions, I'm seeing why others behave the way they do because in one degree or another, their actions mirror mine, and mine theirs. Our motivations as humans are all surprisingly the same. At the root of all the worlds problems is that we each think of ourselves as separate individuals. That separateness leads to competition instead of cohesion. And it is cohesion, the willingness and desire to pull together, that leads to strength and it is unity that leads to peace. We see ourselves as the separate drops of water in the ocean and fail to realize that while we are each unique, we are all the same and that it is our gathering together, our oneness that gives us impact and that each and every one of us not only affects every other being in the world, but that we all need each other to be that power. We have forgotten that we are all one, that we are all as interconnected as individual points on a single strand of yarn that has been tangled by a kitten. We move through this life, brushing up and under and around and behind numerous others, who move through this life, brushing up and around and .... And these are the things that I'm learning as I silently wait for the Presence to teach me how to Be....

And this is why you came.....

2010-04-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

All of my life, the years and the months and the days of it, all of my life I've acted upon a stage. I've walked the boards, and not known why, it just is. Tomorrow is always up ahead, and today, well today just is. And I speak my lines as you do yours.

We are all born to a role that will last until our moment is over. And it seems so long and it feels so short before that moment is arrived at and the crossing is done.

And it is not the length of the journey, but how well it is spent that counts for all. To feel each moment, the crackle of it and the crinkle, the quiet and the loud of it, the stopping and the going, these are what counts for all.

So live your life, in the fullness of love, in the warmth of joy, and say words that will reach out to those around you, that will colour their play, their lives with the same peace and happiness that you would choose for your own.

And feel, to the very marrow of your bones, the rush of it, the life of it, the humming and the vibrating of it.
And feel the rising up to meet the wonder of it. And sink into the depth of it and know that this is why you came.

This moment when you reach out and softly touch the cheek of someone you love,
And know, that this is why you came.

Not My Words Today.....

2010-02-10T09:58:00.000-08:00

Today you will be treated to the words of someone else. Words that will give you the true picture of the end of one line in "Big Ag". As you read, remember, that the events mentioned, are all for your benefit. You and the 99% of this countries population who have trouble looking a brocolli in the face.

They die piece by piece : Investigation reveals rampant cruelty in industrial slaughterhouses

by Joby Warrick Washington Post Staff Writer

PASCO, Wash.

slaughter house investigation cattle

It takes 25 minutes to turn a live steer into steak at the modern slaughterhouse where Ramon Moreno works. For 20 years, his post was “second-legger,” a job that entails cutting hocks off carcasses as they whirl past at a rate of 309 an hour.

The cattle were supposed to be dead before they got to Moreno. But too often they weren’t.

“They blink. They make noises,” he said softly. “The head moves, the eyes are wide and looking around.” Still Moreno would cut. On bad days, he says, dozens of animals reached his station clearly alive and conscious. Some would survive as far as the tail cutter, the belly ripper, the hide puller. “They die,” said Moreno, “piece by piece.”

Under a 23-year-old federal law, slaughtered cattle and hogs first must be “stunned” — rendered insensible to pain — with a blow to the head or an electric shock. But at overtaxed plants, the law is sometimes broken, with cruel consequences for animals as well as workers. Enforcement records, interviews, videos and worker affidavits describe repeated violations of the Humane Slaughter Act at dozens of slaughterhouses, ranging from the smallest, custom butcheries to modern, automated es-tablishments such as the sprawling IBP Inc. plant here where Moreno works.

“In plants all over the United States, this happens on a daily basis,” said Lester Friedlander, a veterinarian and formerly chief government inspector at a Pennsylvania hamburger plant. “I’ve seen it happen. And I’ve talked to other veterinarians. They feel it’s out of control.”
The U.S. Department of Agriculture oversees the treatment of animals in meat plants, but enforcement of the law varies dramatically. While a few plants have been forced to halt pro-duction for a few hours because of al-leged animal cruelty, such sanctions are rare.

For example, the government took no action against a Texas beef company that was cited 22 times in 1998 for violations that included chopping hooves off live cattle. In another case, agency supervisors failed to take action on multiple complaints of animal cruelty at a Florida beef plant and fired an animal health technician for reporting the problems. The dismissal letter sent to the technician, Tim Walker, said his dislosure had “irreparably damaged” the agency’s relations with the packing plant.

“I complained to everyone — I said, ‘Lookit, they’re skinning live cows in there,’ “ Walker said. “Always it was the same answer: ‘We know it’s true. But there’s nothing we can do about it.’ ”

In the past three years, a new meat inspection system that shifted responsibility to industry has made it harder to catch and report cruelty problems, some federal inspectors say. Under the new system, implemented in 1998, the agency no longer tracks the number of humane-slaughter violations its inspectors find each year.

Some inspectors are so frustrated they’re asking outsiders for help: The inspectors’ union joined with the Humane Farming Association last spring and urged Washington state authori-ties to crack down on alleged animal abuse at the IBP plant in Pasco. In a statement, IBP said problems described by workers in its Washington state plant “do not accurately represent the way we operate our plants. We take the issue of proper livestock handling very seriously.”

But the union complained that new government policies and faster production speeds at the plant had “significantly hampered our ability to ensure compliance.”

“Privatization of meat inspection has meant a quiet death to the already meager enforcement of the Humane Slaughter Act,” said Gail Eisnitz of the Humane Farming Association, a group that advocates better treatment of farm animals. “USDA isn’t simply relinquishing its humane-slaughter oversight to the meat industry, but is — without the knowledge and consent of Congress — abandoning this function altogether.”

The USDA’s Food Safety Inspection Service, which is responsible for meat inspection, says it has not relaxed its oversight. In January, the agency ordered a review of 100 slaughterhouses. An FSIS memo reminded its 7,600 inspectors they had an “obligation to ensure compliance” with humane-handling laws.

The review comes as pressure grows on both industry and regulators to improve conditions for the 155 million cattle, hogs, horses and sheep slaughtered each year. McDonald’s and Burger King have been subject to boycotts by animal rights groups protesting mistreatment of livestock.

As a result, two years ago McDonald’s began requiring suppliers to abide by the American Meat Institute’s Good Management Practices for Animal Handling and Stunning. The company also began conducting annual audits of meat plants. Industry groups acknowledge that sloppy killing has tangible consequences for consumers as well as company profits. Fear and pain cause animals to produce hormones that damage meat and cost companies tens of millions of dollars a year in discarded product, according to industry estimates. Industry officials say they also recognize an ethical imperative to treat animals with compassion.

Clearly, not all plants have gotten the message.

A Post computer analysis of government records found 527 violations of humane-handling regulations from 1996 to 1997, the last years for which complete records were available. The offenses range from overcrowded stockyards to incidents in which live animals were cut, skinned or scalded. Through the Freedom of Information Act, The Post obtained documents from 28 plants that had high numbers of offenses or had drawn penalties for violating humane-handling laws. The Post also interviewed dozens of current and former federal meat inspectors and slaughterhouse workers. A reporter reviewed affidavits and secret video recordings made inside two plants.

Among the findings:

* One Texas plant, Supreme Beef Packers in Ladonia, had 22 violations in six months. During one inspection, federal officials found nine live cattle dangling from an overhead chain. But managers at the plant, which an-nounced last fall it was ceasing opera-tions, resisted USDA warnings, saying its practices were no different than oth-ers in the industry. “Other plants are not subject to such extensive scrutiny of their stunning activities,” the plant complained in a 1997 letter to the USDA.
* Government inspectors halted production for a day at the Calhoun Packing Co. beef plant in Palestine, Tex., after inspectors saw cattle being improperly stunned. “They were still conscious and had good reflexes,” B.V. Swamy, a veterinarian and senior USDA official at the plant, wrote. The shift supervisor “allowed the cattle to be hung anyway.” IBP, which owned the plant at the time, contested the findings but “took steps to resolve the situation,” including installing video equipment and increasing training, a spokesman said. IBP has since sold the plant.
* At the Farmers Livestock Cooperative processing plant in Hawaii, inspectors documented 14 humane-slaughter violations in as many months. Records from 1997 and 1998 describe hogs that were walking and squealing after being stunned as many as four times. In a memo to USDA, the company said it fired the stunner and increased monitoring of the slaughter process.
* At an Excel Corp. beef plant in Fort Morgan, Colo., production was halted for a day in 1998 after workers allegedly cut off the leg of a live cow whose limbs had become wedged in a piece of machinery. In imposing the sanction, U.S. inspectors cited a string of violations in the previous two years, including the cutting and skinning of live cattle. The company, responding to one such charge, contended that it was normal for animals to blink and arch their backs after being stunned, and such “muscular reaction” can occur up to six hours after death. “None of these reactions indicate the animal is still alive,” the company wrote to USDA.
* Hogs, unlike cattle, are dunked in tanks of hot water after they are stunned to soften the hides for skinning. As a result, a botched slaughter condemns some hogs to being scalded and drowned. Secret videotape from an Iowa pork plant [provided by the Humane Farming Association] shows hogs squealing and kicking as they are being lowered into the water. USDA documents and interviews with inspectors and plant workers attributed many of the problems to poor training, faulty or poorly maintained equipment or excessive production speeds.

Those problems were identified five years ago in an industry-wide audit by Temple Grandin, an assistant professor with Colorado State University’s animal sciences department. . . .
In the early 1990s, Grandin developed the first objective standards for treatment of animals in slaughterhouses, which were adopted by the American Meat Institute. Her initial, USDA-funded survey in 1996 was one of the first attempts to grade slaughter plants. One finding was a high failure rate among beef plants that use stunning devices known as “captive-bolt” guns. Of the plants surveyed, only 36 percent earned a rating of “acceptable” or better, meaning cattle were knocked unconscious with a single blow at least 95 percent of the time.

Grandin now conducts annual surveys as a consultant for the American Meat Institute and McDonald’s Corp. She maintains that the past four years have brought dramatic improvements. Based on the data collected by McDonald’s auditors, the portion of beef plants scoring “acceptable” or better climbed to 90 percent in 1999. Some workers and inspectors are skeptical of the McDonald’s numbers, and Grandin said the industry’s performance dropped slightly last year after auditors stopped giving notice of some inspections.

Grandin said high production speeds can trigger problems when people and equipment are pushed beyond their capacity. From a typical kill rate of 50 cattle an hour in the early 1900s, production speeds rose dramatically in the 1980s. They now approach 400 per hour in the newest plants. “It’s like the ‘I Love Lucy’ episode in the chocolate factory,” she said. “You can speed up a job and speed up a job, and after a while you get to a point where performance doesn’t simply decline — it crashes.”
When that happens, it’s not only animals that suffer. Improperly stunned animals contribute to worker injuries in an industry that already has the nation’s highest rate of job-related injuries and illnesses — about 27 percent a year. At some plants, “dead” animals have inflicted so many broken limbs and teeth that workers wear chest pads and hockey masks.

“The live cows cause a lot of injuries,” said Martin Fuentes, an IBP worker whose arm was kicked and shattered by a dying cow. “The line is never stopped simply because an animal is alive.”

A Brutal Harvest
At IBP’s Pasco complex, the making of the American hamburger starts in a noisy, blood-spattered chamber shielded from view by a stainless steel wall. Here, live cattle emerge from a narrow chute to be dispatched in a process known as “knocking” or “stunning.” On most days the chamber is manned by a pair of Mexican immigrants who speak little English and earn about $9 an hour for killing up to 2,050 head per shift.

The tool of choice is the captive-bolt gun, which fires a retractable metal rod into the steer’s forehead. An effective stunning requires a precision shot, which workers must deliver hundreds of times daily to balky, frightened animals that frequently weigh 1,000 pounds or more. Within 12 seconds of entering the chamber, the fallen steer is shackled to a moving chain to be bled and butchered by other workers in a fast-moving production line.

The hitch, IBP workers say, is that some “stunned” cattle wake up. “If you put a knife into the cow, it’s going to make a noise: It says, ‘Moo!’” said Moreno, the former second-legger, who began working in the stockyard last year. “They move the head and the eyes and the leg like the cow wants to walk.”

After a blow to the head, an unconscious animal may kick or twitch by reflex. But a videotape, made secretly by IBP workers and reviewed by veterinarians for The Post, depicts cattle that clearly are alive and conscious after being stunned.

Some cattle, dangling by a leg from the plant’s overhead chain, twist and arch their backs as though trying to right themselves. Close-ups show blinking reflexes, an unmistakable sign of a conscious brain.
The video, parts of which were aired by Seattle television station KING last spring, shows injured cattle being trampled. In one graphic scene, workers give a steer electric shocks by jamming a battery-powered prod into its mouth.

More than 20 workers signed affidavits alleging that the violations shown on tape are commonplace and that supervisors are aware of them. The sworn statements and videos were prepared with help from the Humane Farming Association. Some workers had taken part in a 1999 strike over what they said were excessive plant production speeds.

“I’ve seen thousands and thousands of cows go through the slaughter process alive,” IBP veteran Fuentes, the worker who was injured while working on live cattle, said in an affi-davit. “The cows can get seven minutes down the line and still be alive. I’ve been in the side-puller where they’re still alive. All the hide is stripped out down the neck there.”

IBP, the nation’s top beef processor, denounced as an “appalling aberration” the problems captured on the tape. It suggested the events may have been staged . . . .
“Like many other people, we were very upset over the hidden camera video,” the company said. “We do not in any way condone some of the livestock handling that was shown.”

After the [Humane Farming Asso-ciation] video surfaced, IBP increased worker training and installed cameras in the slaughter area. The company also questioned workers and offered a reward for information leading to identification of those responsible for the video. One worker said IBP pressured him to sign a statement denying that he had seen live cattle on the line.

“I knew that what I wrote wasn’t true,” said the worker, who did not want to be identified for fear of losing his job. “Cows still go alive every day. When cows go alive, it’s because they don’t give me time to kill them.”

Independent assessments of the workers’ claims have been inconclusive. Washington state officials launched a probe in May that included an unannounced plant inspection. The investigators say they were detained outside the facility for an hour while their identities were checked. They saw no acts of animal cruelty once permitted inside.

Grandin also inspected IBP’s plant, at the company’s request; that inspection was announced. Although she observed no live cattle being butchered, she concluded that the plant’s older-style equipment was “overloaded.” Grandin reviewed parts of the workers’ videotape and said there was no mistaking what she saw.

“There were fully alive beef on that rail,” Grandin said.

Inconsistent Enforcement
Preventing this kind of suffering is officially a top priority for the USDA’s Food Safety Inspection Service. By law, a humane-slaughter violation is among a handful of offenses that can result in an immediate halt in production — and cost a meatpacker hundreds or even thousands of dollars per idle minute. In reality, many inspectors describe humane slaughter as a blind spot: Inspectors’ regular duties rarely take them to the chambers where stunning occurs. Inconsistencies in enforcement, training and record-keeping hamper the agency’s ability to identify problems.

The meat inspectors’ union, in its petition last spring to Washington state’s attorney general, contended that federal agents are “often prevented from carrying out” the mandate against animal cruelty. Among the obstacles inspectors face are “dramatic increases in production speeds, lack of support from supervisors in plants and district offices . . . new inspection policies which significantly reduce our enforcement authority, and little to no access to the areas of the plants where animals are killed,” stated the petition by the National Joint Council of Food Inspection Locals.

Barbara Masters, the agency’s director of slaughter operations, told meat industry executives in February she didn’t know if the number of violations was up or down, though she believed most plants were complying with the law. “We encourage the district offices to monitor trends,” she said. “The fact that we haven’t heard anything suggests there are no trends.” But some inspectors see little evidence the agency is interested in hearing about problems. Under the new inspection system, the USDA stopped tracking the number of violations and dropped all mentions of humane slaughter from its list of rotating tasks for inspectors.

The agency says it expects its watchdogs to enforce the law anyway. Many inspectors still do, though some occasionally wonder if it’s worth the trouble.

“It always ends up in argument: Instead of re-stunning the animal, you spend 20 minutes just talking about it,” said Colorado meat inspector Gary Dahl, sharing his private views. “Yes, the animal will be dead in a few minutes anyway. But why not let him die with dignity?”

“The industry’s self-inspections are meaningless. They’re designed to lull Americans into a false sense of security about what goes on inside slaughterhouses.”

Winter AGAIN! Ahhhh!

2010-01-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

So what to say except winter is back, or maybe it just got here! At this point I really can't say for sure but the photo above is what it looked like yesterday morning when we got up. Surprisingly it didn't seem that cold unless you caught a huge gust of wind that happened to be fully loaded with the dry powdery snow that was making interesting drifts right across my path to the horses.

This winter I'm feeding round bales for a few weeks and of course I've got about 75 squares in the barn. Testing the waters so to speak as we never fed the big round bales in BC and so I wasn't sure how long a big one would last for Ambra and Sierra. As a result, rather than bringing the girls in each night, I've left them out in their shelter with continuous food. The one drawback to this is that I have to bring water out to them at least three times a day. Not bad when the sun is shining but really the pits if you just got out of bed and you'd rather curl up with your book and a coffee. But, they have to drink and so out I go....

Are You a Bleeding Heart?

2010-01-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

I used to frequent various forums and get involved in the discussions there. I liked them because it was possible to share ideas or dispute the ideas of others but in a format where I felt less vulnerable. If the other party was getting too aggressive, it was easy to just step back from the whole thing until I could come up with an answer for them. Or to take a break until I could simmer down. I remember one that was for people interested in horses, the disciplines, training methods, care of and all that sort of thing. It was about that time that I became aware of the brutalities of rodeos and after spending some time investigating and learning about this "traditional" entertainment, I began discussing the pros and cons on the horse forum. And at the same time, discussing the pending legislation in the States regarding closing down the horse slaughterhouses. As you may have already guessed, I am not in favor of rodeos and I was in favor of closing down those slaughterhouses. But these are not the points of this blog, not today. And in case you are disappointed, a discussion of these particular issues will come on another day.

No, today I want to talk about something that came up in the course of those prior conversations, the label that was thrown at me, "bleeding heart". As I read the reply to one of my statements, the poster was accusing me of being a bleeding heart. Strangely enough, in that first moment, I felt greatly offended. And therein lies the beauty of these forums because rather than just flying off the handle and reacting out of my moral indignation, I had the time to consider my reply, to weigh my words and to examine the label. As I pondered what my reply should be, I realised that being called a bleeding heart is a compliment of the purest kind, even if it is not intended that way. It implies a heart so tender that the suffering of others is as your own and engenders a desire to help relieve that suffering. From insult to blessing in an instant. And if I recall correctly, my reply was pretty simple and I said "at least it shows that I have one".

Feelings? Should we dismiss them as we make our decisions, or should we look to them to see what truth might be cradled in the midst of them? When we are aware of a tremendous aversion to something rising up within our hearts, is it wise to push them aside and take that critical step that lies before us, or are they a warning that maybe we need to rethink our next move? And how does God communicate with us? Very few of us have gotten a UPS delivery, signed for at the door, with a return address of "Heaven", and upon opening it, see the words, "Dear Henry, You've been trying to decide what to do in your life, and as your Creator, I would like to point you in this direction....". And no emails from on high! Ahh, but we have our feelings. The feelings and awareness and ability to think and know..... feelings that are a gift because they give flavor to our lives and even help us decide what to do next. Could these feelings be the means for a Universe, a Creator, a Source Of All That Is, an Alpha and Omega, to speak to us?

A willingness to accept that impulses and emotional states (feelings) could be an actual communication might be tempered with a fear that one is making a decision based on an irrational reaction to a given situation. But there is a test. Simple and to the point. Ask the question, "What would Love do?" And if you are standing in the presence of suffering, and you struggle with what your next action should be, and if the answer to that question is lend a hand and pick up the fallen, then you know that your feelings are the conduit of communication that we all seek. And if you are confronted with an event that the status quo (whoever your "status quo" is) condemns, and there is an element of joy there, ask what Love would do and if you are moved to smile in that moment, then you know and can feel safe in sharing in the joy.

The best thing in the world that you can be is a bleeding heart. It's like a direct line to Hope.

Have a lovely day folks, because somewhere in the world, the sun is shining.

Peace and love,
Debby

Do you think they really care?

2010-01-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

H1N1, vaccinations, pandemic, we're gonna die, we're gonna die!!! 2009 will be remembered for many things and the threat of global death by disease is one of them. It will also be remembered by many as a pivotal moment in the level of trust that they held for their governments and for world health organizations that up til now, they've believed really cared about us, about our children, our children's children....

A few weeks ago, I chatted with Aunt Sarah and while it started out as a talk about homegrown potatoes versus store bought, we soon moved to discussion about flu vaccinations, H1N1 in particular. Uncle David and Aunt Sarah, and Don and I, had, quite seperately, made the decision that we would not take the chance on being vaccinated. And night after night, on the news we all listened to reports about the lineups, the urgency of being innoculated and reports on government supplies of the vaccines.

What we didn't hear, was about the ties that the World Health Organization had to big pharmaceutical companies. We didn't hear about the millions of dollars changing hands between individuals on the WHO board and the drug companies, or the urging of the corporations to get the WHO to pressure the governments of the world to cave to a false fear of world pandemic. The fact that the Health Committee of European Union Parliament has in the past month, unanimously passed a resolution calling for an inquiry into the influence by Big Pharma's on the WHO lends credence to the notion that your health is very often the furthest thing from the minds of those in charge.

Just in case you are interested in reading a little more on the issue of WHO and Big Pharma scandals, here are two sites that can give you some more info:

http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=16667
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/23/Journalist-Accuses-WHO-of-Plan-to-Commit-Mass-Murder.aspx

I used to roll my eyes when Don would talk conspiracy theories and then I would leave the room. But honestly, in the last couple years, I've shifted over to the other side. I now believe that governments around the world are interested in one thing only and that is staying in power, and they will do whatever it takes to stay there, (does the phrase "squeaky wheel gets the grease" ring any bells?). The only way that our modern culture differs from the fuedal days of medieval Europe is that we've changed from wearing velvets and laces and puffy pants and shirts, to "power" suits and ties. But there is still the same buying and selling of favours, marrying daughters (or promises) off to supporters, and protection of those in power so that they will in turn protect you should their fortunes and yours change. Officials are looking the other way and holding out their hands at the same time.

But my friends, it is what it is and your losing sleep at night because the status quo is impossible to fight, will serve no purpose. Within the given parameters of this reality, we are all able to make the decisions that will guide the course of our lives. To make those choices with a true awareness of what is and where you wish to go is the only requirement. Your life is yours to create, just do so with understanding and knowledge. Have a very nice day!

Only Four Hours.......

2009-12-31T12:47:00.000-08:00

The sun was shining today, clear blue skies and not too cold. Now though, bundled in my barn jacket, worn old gloves on my hands the cold is deepening, and I realize that I am looking at the last full moon of the year. In the deepening blue twilight, the tall fir trees that stand at the edge of the forest behind our field are a dark line and behind them, the moon glows full and golden. Ambra and Sierra have heard the screen door slam and are coming in to their gates, knowing that in the next few minutes, they'll come in for their buckets of feed and a drink of warm water. I can hear their hooves crunching on the snow even from this distance. There is a comforting sameness in this routine of ours. They need me and trust me and I like it, and I'm pleased to be able to care for them even when its cold, even when their breath turns to thick layers of frost on the insides of the barn windows.

The last full moon of this year, the last time I bring them in this year, the last time I write in this blog this year, the last time....So many lasts, but what one thing have I learned that I can take forward into the new year that is only four hours away? I think the best thing that I've realized this year is that we all make of our lives, just what we want them to be. It's our willingness to see the best in situations and people, that will cause those "bests" to be revealed to us and by us. If I determinedly look for the failings of others or try to see only how I've been hurt by the world, then that becomes my experience. I used to know a young lady when she was only a child, and the thing I will always remember about her is that the moment she walked into the room, she was everyones friend, young or old, because that is how she saw them, as friends that she just hadn't met yet. She lived a special truth even though she likely didn't realize it and that is, that your life will be what you make it be, what your thoughts and actions bring into being.

I used to worry a lot about everything. Even when things were working out the way we wanted them to, I worried about when they might change and what would I do then. A very hard way to live a life, because I forgot to revel in, to enjoy the moments as they came along and instead strained to see the point in time that the dreaded change would begin. But in this past year, I've finally been able to put that old habit away and not only that, but started to understand that everyone else, whether they know it or not, are actively engaged in making their lives turn out just the way they want them to be. We all give lip-service to wanting to be happy and have lots of love around us, to sustain and support us in the difficult times of life, but all too often, we're betrayed by our actions. If we truly wanted to be surrounded by love, why do we push it away when it comes in the form of concern or questions or offered guidance. If we truly want to be surrounded by love, why do we dig our heels in and hang on instead to one moment of irritation or insult as if choosing it instead because that is the precious commodity?

As I've come to realize that each of us is solely responsible for our own lives, it has taken a burden off of my shoulders. I can only do so much to make the next person happy and as long as I give them the kindness and respect that I would appreciate receiving, everything else in their lives is up to them. The choices that they have made, the things that they've said or done, the directions that they've taken have put them exactly where they are, where they want to be. If they are happy and feel love all around them, it is because they've said kind words, extended a helping hand, turned the other cheek at times.....and if they feel forgotten, or lonely, then it is because they failed to say the kind words, or extend the helping hand, or held onto hurt feelings....

For you who spend sleepless nights agonizing over how to help someones life be better, give them kindness and love and then close your eyes. They are where they want to be, for right now. For you who try to work out ways to advise without seeming to, instead, just give them love and kindness, and leave the door open for when they come back to feel one more time, that tender warmth. Because for now, they are where they want to be. And look forward with hope, to a time when they will be decide that change is needed and when that happens, their choices will make it so.

In the meantime, I have decided that I want a life of serenity, love, and quiet joy. In order to make of my life, what I want, I try to speak words of loving kindness, to see the good in all, spend time in quiet meditation, and stop frequently to just inhale the moment and take joy in its fragrance. Happy New Year!

Patience, more patience, and try again....

2009-12-20T06:44:00.000-08:00

The fan on the wood stove is whirring, Diesel is laying close by, basking on the warmth of the brick hearth and Max is wandering around looking a bit bored. And I just finished emptying my camera of half a years worth of photos. It's so easy to take them, the put the camera away and when you finally do transfer them over to the computer, you discover just how quickly time has passed. So while we are all caught in the deep freeze of winter, I thought what better time to look at vegetable garden pictures.

As you will have noticed, the first photo is my summer hold out geranium. Even though there is snow on the ground outside, my geranium doesn't want to quit. It's actually a beautiful jewel of color, there on the windowsill. And even in the evening, when it is dark outside, and the light over the sink is on, from the outside it glows even more brilliantly. The single glorious reminder of a summer gone.....

As for the rest of the photos, two of them were taken early in the season. If you look carefully, you can see the tiny green Tiny Tim (or maybe they were Sweet 100's) tomatoes on the little short vines. And then there is the photo that shows my tomatoes ripening and some red as well as the lovely green peppers. I think that the plastic mulch around them really helped considerably. But one other thing that you'll notice is that even though the tomatoes are ripening and the green peppers are looking to be a nice size, the plants are small, very small. That is because we had so much rain and cloud cover through the summer, that things couldn't really get going. And I was not the only one noticing the problem. Others too complained that their gardens were slow, slow, slow. Even though we had a fairly warm summer, there was just not enough sunlight. Sort of like trying to grow a garden in the shade and we all know that won't work.

But I will try again next summer. Some changes that I plan on making are raised beds and for the peppers and tomatoes, some more permanent type of tunnel or cloche system, as well as the plastic mulch again to keep the soil warm. I've also decided that successive plantings don't work as well here on the eastcoast as they do in BC. With the soil only getting warm into June, there doesn't seem to be enough time for that method and so I will just go ahead and plant once.

Gardens are another of lifes opportunities to learn lessons of patience and more patience. And what works this year, might not work so well next because the weather is different. But regardless of the curveballs of changing weather patterns, I will keep on trying, because when it works even a little, it is so worthwhile.

Enjoy your memories of summer, the memories that you and your family are making this holiday season and enjoy some special moment this day.

Better late than never!

2009-12-13T11:08:00.001-08:00

With Christmas just around the corner, gift planning and buying in full swing, except of course for the husbands and dads who, true to tradition will leave it to the 24th of December, I've debated what to write about this week. Part of me really does want to get into the festive mood along with everyone else but then there is another feeling doing battle with that, that says, "an opportunity!! Don't miss the opportunity!" While the photos shown here, may celebrate one aspect of this holiday season, the focus of the blog is a little different. Sorry, I couldn't resist folks...

The weather has turned colder across the country and our thoughts are turning to being cozy, buying gifts, drinking hot cocoa, and Christmas trees and family gatherings. And Christmas lists everywhere have any number of toys, and gadgets and maybe, unfortunately things either made of or trimmed with fur. And true to form, because I am such an awful Grinch, I'm asking you to cross those off your list or if you are the shopper, ignore them entirely.

The bulk of the fur produced these days comes from China, a country which has absolutely no laws regarding how animals are treated. The fur on that jacket hood may come from a shepherd/lab cross, a bunch of cats, or a little animal called a raccoon dog. They will have lived in the most squalid of conditions, likely with inadequate food, little or no protection from the elements and to say that their death is brutal is inadequate and minimizes the true horror. In the interests of the holiday season, I'll refrain from going into that in any detail for now. In our country too, there are fur farms, and while there is a pretense at laws controlling how animals are treated, it is rarely policed and ultimately the end result is the same, death. The mink and fox that are killed are by nature secretive animals who have strong family bonds and the way they are raised frustrates these instincts entirely. Perhaps the equivalent from a human perspective would be a child with all the attendant needs for love and nurturing, being isolated, ignored and deprived of all that it takes for one of our own to grow to be a loving and fulfilled member of our society.

When I was in Newfoundland in the fall, we saw a wild silver fox standing at the side of the highway. In excitement, we slowed the car and pulled over. He or she, came within two feet of camera lenses, and to be honest that brief interaction with a wild creature was the highlight of the whole trip. When we came home, we were showing the pictures to friends and the minute that little beautiful wild fox came up on the slideshow, one of our friends blurted out "fur coat". She totally missed the real beauty of this moment and instead, displayed what I feel is a callousness that is all too typical throughout the world.

My Christmas wish is that while you include a little toy under the tree, for Fido or Kitty, that you would also include a gift for those tragic animals who don't want to have their body parts included amongst the glittering, beribboned packages. Give them the gift of compassion, please, for the sake of this season of Love.

What Am I?

2009-12-06T06:38:00.001-08:00

When I was a child, my view of the world was small. I saw myself, my family, then my grade one class and trips to the supermarket. As I got older that view expanded to include the place I worked a first job, then the second and along the way, the friends that I attached to myself. All these became part of who I saw myself as. And swirling in and around all the symbols of me, were the things that I did, the ideas that came into my mind. And mostly I thought about myself and how events in my immediate world affected me. We are all like that, and it is a natural progression and like all progressions, it grows and changes and over time we "become more".

But there comes a point when all of that peaks and the refinement begins and it is at this point that we begin to understand who we are, what we are, what we have been and what we chose to be and in many cases, why we are here. We've all done things that were not noble, where the doing was prompted by selfishness alone and particularly when we were or are young. But these events can become the contrast that enables us to see the person that we wish to see ourselves as, in our later years. Which option, which person do we chose, to be the real us? The person we are in that moment, or someone kinder, gentler, someone "better".

It has been said that you are what you chose to be and if all you have is the "right now", than what are you right now? Are you continuing to be thoughtless, chaotic, allowing life to happen to you, living your life in fragments, because sometimes you are patient, and sometimes you are not. Sometimes you are compassionate and sometimes you have no care for others. A fragmented life cannot be a joy-filled life. In those moments where your choice is only for you and comes at the expense of anothers happiness, how can you experience joy?

Available to all of us is an experience of a life of wisdom, compassion, joy. We only have to make that choice in this moment because this moment is all there is. The past doesn't exist and the future is only a fantasy. But right now is....right now. Right now is all that there is. So right now, how do you see yourself? How do you choose to see yourself? You can choose to be a compassionate person, and make the same choice in the next moment and the next....The essential ingredient in all of this is the ability to imagine the greatest and highest vision of yourself that you can come up with. We are body, mind and spirit. Do we let our body make our decisions, our mind, or do we allow the spirit to take control?

Why I am a vegan.....

2009-12-01T01:41:00.000-08:00

About a year ago, Kim said something to me about PETA that made me curious. I can't remember what it was exactly, probably not flattering, but to be honest I hadn't really ever heard about them so I did a search on them. That is one of the marvels of this era in mans history, that very little can be kept secret. You can get information on just about anything. Anyway, a search of the name PETA brought up a wealth of information. There were blogs that mentioned them in passing, there were news articles talking about them, there were newsletters run buy them, and there were undercover videos taken by them. The saying is that a picture is worth a thousand words, and the stories that those videos told broke my heart. It only took a day or two and I made a decision that has changed my life, my cooking, my attitude about so many things. That is why I am a vegan today and will be til I die. Those first few videos were only a start as I found myself unable to turn away from the pain and suffering that I saw and read about. It continued for many months and the images became imprinted in my brain, the frightened little calves, the chickens with no feathers and crippled legs, the tiny piglets tossed aside like garbage, the horses standing against rodeo rails with broken legs dangling.......the list is absolutely endless. I have no cravings for things like ice cream or chocolate, butter on corn or any of the multitude of foods that come from the human use of animals because I see that pain burned onto my brain. I've had occasion to speak of my feelings to Don, trying to explain to him how I am hurt when friends have made a thoughtless joke about eating dogs (I love our dogs!), and my voice breaks up as the tears begin to flow just in the telling.

Next to the terrible sadness that I live with and the empathy that causes my own suffering at their pain, the hardest thing is finding a way to reconcile in my mind, that very few people feel the same way about this. While we recoil in horror at the newspaper story that tells of someone dragging an animal to its death or shudder at the notion that someone would let their animals starve to death, or feel irritation that the neighbor lets their dog run loose in the neighborhood and give birth to one litter after another without regard for the thousands upon thousands of dogs that are killed every day in shelters across the country, sympathy rarely makes the transfer to all the other animals that suffer miserable pain filled existences that are so horrendous, that if we knew of someone doing those things to a pet cat or a pet dog, the SPCA would be called promptly and charges would be filed. Somehow, food animals, fur animals, medical use animals deserve no sympathy, no care, no compassion.

The opening days of Creation were apparently idyllic, the people walked in the garden and the animals had no fear of them, and according to the Bible, the new earth will see the lion lay down with the lamb but in the time between, we see man laying waste to this beautiful jewel of a planet. Would it not make more sense for believers to seek that vision now, that God apparently has for the world? And for those who aren't Christian but are spiritual seekers, what of a desire to live in harmony with the earth and all the beings that walk upon it? One of my favourite quotes was by the Buddha where he said "When a man has pity on all living creatures, then only is he noble". I think it is time for man to climb down from the pedestal that he has so happily placed himself on for nobility is not a trait that is evident when it comes to the kind of treatment that is accorded almost every species on this planet. And don't get me wrong, I do realize that there are many people who work hard to care for animals and provide them with the support that is necessary for them to recover from their interaction with people. The Tennessee Elephant Refuge is a prime example as is Dogtown USA, or the Lange Foundation in California. But these kinds of places are the exception rather than the rule.

In the early days of my change, I struggled with a very real, very hard to live with anger about all of this and out of that anger, I sought out support and understanding on several different forums. One forum was for veg'ns only and the other was a spiritual forum. At one point I was also spending time on a couple horse forums, but found that there was a total lack of care for the horses that wind up being shipped to slaughter. I ran into trouble with those who had racetrack connections as well as the backyard breeders who were willing to consign horses to the slaughterhouse if only they could enjoy the sight of a baby horse of their own cavorting in the back yard. And the racetrack folks were angry at the suggestion that their search for the next winner was the cause of a multitude of horses winding up in that horrific situation of facing the bolt gun and all the terror and suffering that that would cause them. For all their "love" of horses, they needed slaughter houses to get rid of their excess.

The spiritual forum was an experience! What amazed me was that it was necessary to argue for compassion and that I did in a thread that went on for over 800 posts. And while that thread began as the question, "does meat eating affect ones spiritual growth?", it ultimately covered all of the issues from spirituality, to the effects on your body from eating meat, to how does one get all ones nutritional needs met, to the effect of meat production on the health of our planet home. It covered everything and for every argument that I presented, I supplied links and information to back it up. But in the last week the discussion has finally begun to expire. Everything that could be said, has been. I can only hope that one person out of all those that participated is thinking seriously about the issues. As for the needs that first took me to that forum, i.e. how do I reconcile my feelings with the way things are in the world, I suppose the best I can say is that I have become a bit numb and can look away so that I don't feel battered and bloodied every time I am confronted with thoughtless remarks from friends about eating my dog or.....?

In the weeks to come, I hope to share some of my ideas and philosophies on living a life of compassion for the animals that share the earth with us. And I'll tell you of the information that I've come across that should not only make you think, but even inspire a fear for the planet unless our lifestyles change, and I believe there are some very legitimate concerns that we should all be aware of. So til then.....

Adventures in a Culinary Sense....

2009-11-21T09:50:00.000-08:00

When a person announces that they are going to quit eating meat, go vegetarian, the most common question is "where will you get your protein?". But when they announce that they are going to take it to the next level and become a vegan, the most common question seems to be "what can you eat?", almost as though after meat, cheese and eggs, there is nothing else. But it is closing in on one year ago since I made that decision and while there was a bit of a learning curve in the first few months, it has been an adventure in flavours, a grand experience in learning, a new understanding of what is really good for the human body and a discovery of what is happening to our world from the environmental standpoint.

So what did we have last night for supper? Let me start by saying that many of our meals are becoming more of a one dish experience with some sort of pickled vegetable beside or sliced fresh cucumbers or pepper slices. Last night I made a rice noodle stir fry, every vegetable (as well as pecans and pumpkin seeds), that was in the fridge was involved and a sauce that I made up myself. It is possible that someone, somewhere thought up the exact same sauce, but this isn't plagerism of a recipe because I've not seen it anywhere yet.

My sauce had the following in it:

3/4 cup water
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 tsp five spice powder
1/4 tsp cayenne powder
dash of salt
1 - 2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp corn starch
1/8 cup pumpkin seeds (ground)

After the veggies were cooked (just barely) to perfection, I started working the pre-cooked and slightly cooled noodles in. The next step was to pour the sauce over the vegetable mixture and stirred it around til it had thickened slightly. And with that, dinner was served.

And while I don't make dessert every day, since becoming a vegan I've learned to make chocolate pudding with rice milk, coco powder, an avocado and half of a banana. I have a great recipe too for blueberry muffins that use no milk, and chocolate chip cookies that are butter free and are sooooo good! Another entree idea is a shredded potato wrap that is a meal in itself. Instead of being bound by the habit of preparing a meal based on and around some type of meat, I have learned to combine flavours, and use spices and a world of vegetable, grain and fruit flavours that prior to "V" Day, I rarely thought about. So back to the question of what do I eat, all the vegetables and fruits and grains and nuts and seeds and spices of the world.

Keep in mind that every food has a bit of protein in it. Protein is the building block of the body, be it the animal or the human body and without it, we would all launguish and die. But cows and horses get big on grass, and bears eat mostly vegetation. As a result, the need for the average human being to make some special effort to ensure their protein requirements is really not a big deal.

As for the health and environmental aspects, well that is another day I think. But for today, enjoy the sunshine if you are lucky enough to have it shining down on you, and if your not so blessed, make the effort to find something else to be grateful for.

Peace and love,
Debby

They'll Never See an Auction!

2009-11-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

Five years ago I drove past the auction in Langley. As I passed, I noticed the portable "billboard" sign out front gave an upcoming date for a horse auction. I'd stopped in at the auction once long before that day, out of curiousity. The small dirty wire cages, filled with frightened chickens, ducks and rabbits were stacked up just inside the entrance and beyond them, the pens with the animals. I had walked through rather quickly, and for just a moment, had poked my head in the door of the room where the auction ring was. Rising up steeply against the back wall were the bleachers where people sat, watching to see if any animal came in that might be of use to them. The smoke from numerous cigarettes made the air hazy and I left without going in. And now, as I passed that sign, I imagined if Sierra and Ambra were standing, shivering in terror in one of those pens and the tears welled up in my eyes and I think in that moment I decided that my girls would never see a place like that.

So now Kim and Holly are long gone, no little girls to ride the horses we bought for them and Ambra and Sierra are getting older. Next March they will be 20 years old and we're on the downhill run. My dream for our retirement was that they would have green grass so graze on, a peaceful life and a peaceful death. I think I do this for me, for them and for the horses who will spend their last days in terror and pain. The US has banned horse slaughter and now all those horses that are born to spend their childhood on race tracks and in PMU farms and those who are born because unthinking and uncaring people want to have a baby running in the pasture or who are hoping for the next champion, will be shipped in overcrowded stock trucks, when they are of no more use. They will not be fed or watered on that trip, they will be injured and receive no care and when they arrive in Alberta or in Mexico, they will be brutalized. In Canada, they will be hit repeatedly by bolt guns and in Mexico, they will be stabbed in the neck, over and over again in search of their spinal cord. My girls will never see an auction. I will not sell them to someone else because I'm too old to care for them, because someone might send them to auction and I will not do that to them.

In making this decision, I've given up some things. I left the place I've lived for most of my life, I've left some of my family behind.....but I've gained too. I have peace of mind because I haven't tossed aside these animals that have come to trust me. I've taken a stand against animal abuse and live my life according to that stand and that gives me peace of mind too. When we live our lives according to our beliefs we become stronger.

Where this blog began as a way to keep family apprised on our comings and goings in the place we now live, so far from home, from this point on, you may notice a change. I hope that you will come on this journey with me and I hope that it will give you food for thought. The greatest thing that humanity can do for itself is to keep an open mind because that is the only way we learn and grow. So having said that, I leave you now, til next time.....

Peace and love,
Debby

25 Things to do Each Day!

2009-09-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

The urgency of the to do list fades a little each day. Where once there were any number of jobs "on" the list, there were also any number of jobs waiting to be added. But retirement seems to be setting in and I'm having more days when I feel perfectly comfortable just sitting on the porch, listening to the crickets and watching Diesel and Max sleep in the sunny spots. But Holly sent me something that she came across in her journeys on the internet and I just had to share them. These should be the first 25 items on anyones to-do list, and if you feel inclined to add unclogging the kitchen sink then welcome to it. But first and foremost:

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God (or to your higher power or meditate) about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
' My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ '

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in factories.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries,
broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life is not fair, but it is still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don ' t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it will not spoil the present.

14. Don ' t compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ' In five
years, will this matter? '

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD (depending on your beliefs) heals everything - but you have to ask Him (translate to your religion).

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night, before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings.
You will be smiling before you know it.

34 Years and Counting

2009-08-15T08:53:00.001-07:00

Today is the fifteenth of August which means that Don and I have been married for 34 years and 11 days! The countdown for the next 34 years has begun. Just think, in only a couple years I'll be sleeping with an OLD MAN! There was a time when the mere thought would have inspired a series of shudders followed by a snort and a "not on my watch". But here we are 34 years later and I've resigned myself to the senior citizen (soon) bed partner and I can only hope that Don will extend me the same consideration when my day comes. Time marches on and on and on and......

For our anniversary we loaded the kayaks and went up to Cariboo River which is just this side of Pictou. Quiet and pretty area but, unfortunately, we left all four cameras in the car so we have no photos of the day! And the pictures we missed! Coming around one bend in the river, protected from the light breeze, the water was like a mirror. I looked over at Don in his kayak and if I'd taken a picture, I could turn it upside down and you would never be able to tell which way was right side up because there wasn't a ripple to give away the truth. We also took Diesel and Max and they have little lifejackets which keeps them safe. The best position for them we found, was sitting right on the top and just ahead of the cockpit. They just kind of laid down there and watched the river banks go by, the eagles overhead and the kingfishers diving. It was so much fun and so incredibly peaceful too. I just wish we had photos and all I can say is next time. For sure.

I think that for all the hours that we've spent together, and there have been many having had our own business that we ran out of our home, we've done pretty good. We still love each other and as importantly, we like each others company more than anyone elses. We know when to give each other space, and we know when to give in to each other. And we know when stamping a foot is likely to get us what we want. All in all, it's been a pretty good 34 years and having said that, let the counting continue.......!

Fear is only a memory...

2009-08-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

What is fear? - how does it come? Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday's pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear...... Thought is the response of memory. - Taken from Beyond Violence by J. Krishnamurti

So fear is brought about by thought and my thoughts, as are all thoughts, are the result of memories. The unfortunate thing in this instance, is that I love working in my garden, moving plants from here to there in a never ending pursuit of the perfect "look", sort of like rearranging the furniture, only outside. And while I have never been afraid of getting my hands dirty, there is one thing and one thing alone, that can strike fear, nay, terror into my heart.....can make my heart pound, my ears ring and send me from one side of the yard to the other in less time than it takes for Don to say "let's have pie". Did you notice in the middle of the symphony of colorful garden shots the source of my fear? Laying quietly, waiting for me, so that it can wiggle just a little so that it can then settle back and watch the show that I put on as I spot it and then sprint out of its deadly range? I'm sure they sit and laugh, absolutely positive they do and not only they, but if anyone was going by just at that moment would also.

My sister Wendy and I had the opportunity during several summers to visit at Uncle Harvey and Aunt Sarah's. It was on one of those visits that the incident, which caused the memory, which causes the thought, which has caused the fear ever since, first occurred. I can remember it as though it was yesterday. As I stood in the dooryard, with Uncle Harvey's truck on one side of me, paying as little attention as most children do when lost in their daydreams, Wendy approached from around the other side of the pickup. Hearing her, I turned and as I did, she handed me a carton, said "hold this for a minute" and then walked away. As I stood there with the carton in my hands I glanced over to where she was moving away, and as I did so, there was a slight tremble in the carton and then several garter snakes, pushed through the slightly folded down top and hung down across my hands for a moment before dropping to the ground. Thus it began, my memory, my fear.

As an ethical vegan, there is no way I would ever go on a rampage, bent on wreaking havoc and destruction in the snake world. Just wouldn't happen, but at the same time, no matter how much I reason with myself and explain how these little (to me they look huge!) snakes are so necessary in the ecosystem, I just can't stay in the same fifty foot radius as them. Last night I replaced a big rock that had gotten dislodged on the culvert at the driveway and today as we mowed around the culvert, we disturbed TWO ENORMOUS snakes! If I had discovered them last night as I was replacing the rock, well I just would'nt be here to type this post today. I would have had a heart attack, that would have been the end of me.

Practical jokes can be funny sometimes, but they can also be the beginning of something that never ends. We are in the country, there are snakes around and I will just have to be careful when I garden. But when the day comes, that we cannot care for this large property and make the transition to an apartment (or an old folks home), there is one thing that I will NOT miss. Can you guess what it is?

"Don't Tip the Boat!"

2009-07-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

I am too lazy to look back at all my posts here, but I am almost positive that I had mentioned in one, that I was going to quit giving in to the habit of feeling blue or something to that effect but you know how it goes with New Years resolutions and old habits. One is so hard to keep and the other so hard to "not keep" doing and wouldn't you know it, I've once again found myself in that dreadful rut. The good thing is that I've finally become aware of it and that is the first step to moving away from it (once again!). Mind you, we've had so much rain that maybe the grey skies have also had something to do with the blahhs. Oh well, someday the sun will return, both within and "without" if you know what I mean.

On a lighter note, we recently got a couple of kayaks as I may have mentioned, and last weekend, we went to a safety workshop. We learned how to get into our kayaks, both while just at the shore and in the event that we ever get tipped out. There were about ten people in the class, and with the instructor Bob in the water, we each had to tip ourselves out of the kayak and then he showed us how to get the water out, get back in, and then remove the rest of the water. It was hard to over-ride the natural instinct to "not tip the boat", but once I was in the water, it wasn't scary at all. I can't say that I was the most graceful at getting back in (but on the other hand, I also wasn't the most grace-less!) and once you know how, it's actually pretty simple. The body of water that we were on lies between New Glasgow and Pictou and the day that we were there was smooth as glass and amazingly warm.

Don is taking some photos for Bob to use on his website for advertising so we are going to go back when he has his new shipments of boats in and on that day we'll take ours and then after the photo session is done, we will put them in the water and cruise the coastline there for a couple hours. It's really very pretty and I'm looking forward to it. Anyhow, enjoy the photos of the workshop.

Can you just look?

2009-06-21T12:00:00.001-07:00

Salad bowl in front of me, clean vegetables strewn across the counter, I happened to glance up from what I was doing and saw the big tree on the other side of the driveway and noticed that its branches were bent as it bowed before the blustering wind, and the bottoms of the leaves made it seem as though the tree was a paler shade of green. The rain blew against those branches, blew against those leaves and they glistened as they tossed and thrashed. My hands paused at what they were doing as I stood quietly, motionless, and made a conscious effort to look, to see, but not to label or allow names or descriptions of what I looked at, to come into my mind. And all around the edges of my consciousness it was as though those words that describe what we look at tried to slip themselves in through the cracks, to force me to allow them, to consider them.

Later on, when I called Don in to come and eat, I told him about my little experiment. I said to him, "it is a very hard thing to look at something without getting involved in a conversation with yourself about that which you see". To just look and not think about how big it is, how many small branches are bending in the wind, what color, what texture......to just look at it. And his response was priceless. He looked for a couple minutes to test my theory, and then he said "not if you are a man". And I laughed, and was reminded of a comedian that I watched once. He said to all the ladies in his audience, "girls, next time you ask your boyfriends what they are thinking about.....and they say "oh nothing"........believe them.

Enjoy your day, and don't forget to look.....just look.

Enveloping, enshrouding and encapsulating....

2009-06-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

To arrive at this moment in my life, at this time in the worlds journey seems a curiousity. We humans have all careened through our days and years, on auto pilot, with some vague destination in mind that for far too many of us, turns out to be unreachable. We live in the belief and the hope that some future date will bring us the joy that our spirit seeks and discover repeatedly that it is still somewhere down the road, somewhere on the time-line of life, ahead of us. Our failure is that we don't look to this moment, right now, for that fulfillment. We neglect to stop and experience what is. To let it roll around us, bump up against our legs, rising higher and higher, enveloping, enshrouding, encapsulating us until we are forced to inhale it in, so that we are filled and covered with the now, part of - what is. This moment, right now.

Over the years I've enjoyed writing letters to various members of my family, letters to the editor upon occasion, and of late, writing posts on various forums that have held an interest for me. My appreciation of the written word when I was a child, bordered on obsession. And from time to time, I've entertained the occasional impulse to write my memoirs, such as they are, and I tell myself, for the sake of my children. So that they will know who I am. But, and doesn't there seem to be a "but" far too often, of late, I've come to a new realization that as humans, we are all compulsive thinkers and that we have reduced and limited our lives to words and thoughts which are really only more words, just rearranged differently to accomodate the newest mood that we find ourselves in. We live in the past, which doesn't exist any more and base all of our hoped for tomorrows on it.

Too often, thoughts moving at a hundred miles per minute, we forget to just "be" in this moment, to be in the now..........................can you feel your heart beating and when did you last sit and just experience it doing what it does each and every moment of the years that you have alloted to you? When was the last time you sat, with no tv on, no music, no one talking, and gave your mind a rest? Turned the "thinking machine" to off. When was the last time you tried to just sit and "be"? In that quietness lies a link to the divine, in that silence lies the link to the peace, if only for the briefest of moments, to the peace that your spirit craves. In that moment,.............but only til the words begin again.

There will be no memoirs because they are only words and are not the real me. I am not words, my past no longer exists and my future is only a fantasy and I only exist in this moment, right now. We each have a single opportunity to experience each other in this briefest of instances. Let's not obscure what there is to know with a muddle of sounds and labels and old stories that only tell what kind of image we each see and want the world to see. Instead, feel this moment, the two of us, as it bumps up against our legs, rises higher and higher......

Still Renovating and renovating and renovating....

2009-05-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

Will it ever end? Considering that I have a to-do-list with about ten items on it (and I'm sensible enough not to discourage myself by including absolutely everything), I think the answer to the question is "no, it will never end". The latest project is screening in the side porch. And so to that end, we had to start out by putting rails on it. Now I gotta tell you that Don loves his nail gun but it makes me nervous even though I appreciate the ease and convenience of using it. So he's happily nailing rails on and all of a sudden, no more nailing and he's dancing around holding on to his finger. I dropped what I was doing and looked over his clenched hands and sure enough, he's done it! Nailed his finger. Fortunately only his finger! "I'll turn off the coffee pot and then I gotta put the horses back in the paddock" and Don said he would clean up the tools.

Now normally, the compressor is heavy and cumbersome enough to need two hands to lug it out but, and I did not see this myself, Don grabbed that baby up with one hand and hustled it into the garage with hardly a backward look. By the time I got back from the barn, the tools were tidied up, the garage door closed and locked and Don was sitting in the car. And off to the hospital we went. What a day! Put an end to the porch work for a few days, but the nail didn't go through the bone, just slipped underneath it and so it wasn't long before we were back at it. Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of the nail and the finger, but you do get to see how nice the porch is looking so far. Next week I hope to be putting the screen on and then old fashioned screen door and then I can cross one item off the to do list. And that will leave how many? Hmmm, was that nine, or ten or....

Hum a little tune while we wait for the sun.....

2009-05-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I happened to look out the windows that overlook the backyard and was amazed to see a mob of robins. I lost count at 25 plus because of the constant movement and business of these messengers of spring made it hard to keep up. So the birds have declared that spring is here, now if only the weather would catch up. An occasional warm day, but then several chilly ones, rain too. But it will come, and then we'll all be happy.

And as the robins are here, I'm sure that the little hummingbirds will be back if they are not already. Where did I put my hummingbird feeders? I will have to search the cupboards and get them out there pretty quick. We had a couple of hanging baskets last year too and we'll repeat that and in a couple years my trellis will be covered with honeysuckle and then it will be like a smorgasborg for hummers.

Oh dear, the rain has started again, but I still have faith that the sun isn't far behind.

Stanley Street, After....

2009-04-29T12:01:00.000-07:00

So I thought you might like to see our little project that has been taking ages (or so it seems) to complete. The first pictures here are obviously the "after" pictures and if you continue on, you'll get to see what we began with. The house is about 75 years old and the lady who lived there previously was elderly and not well, so for decades nothing was done to it. So we insulated, some plumbing, new windows and siding and lots of paint and elbow grease among other things. So there you have it.

More Stanley Street, After....

2009-04-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

So now you've seen what can be done with a little imagination, a lot of elbow grease and a couple bucks (or three or....). and the next are the icky "before" pictures.

Stanley Street in the beginning.

2009-04-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

We've been busy, soooo busy in these last couple of weeks! But now a respite from it all. What did you think of the little house. As you can see by these photos, it was a real wreck. But we had enough imagination to see what it could be and so here it is.

Little Dogs, woodland walks and the end of winter...

2009-04-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

The snow is almost gone, little patches only left in the shadows of the trees, but soon even that will be gone. And the ice slowly disappearing from the soil. I've been moving a few things around as the soil has softened, made my plans for the garden and now just wait. When will my little broccoli's go out, my asparagus germinate and when will the sun shine? So many questions, and only time holds the answers. Patience grasshopper.....

We did go for a walk up a little dirt road that is used mainly by ATV traffic in the summer and snow mobiles in the winter. Some parts were a bit soft but dry enough to walk on until we came to a huge stretch of snow and mud. At that point we turned back but through it all, Max had the most wonderful time. He is the perfect dog to take on a walk. He'll run up ahead about forty feet, but is always tuned in to our whereabouts and returns immediately when called. We always keep an eye on the sky though when we go out with him, looking for eagles. What a horror that would be! If we spot one soaring high overhead, he gets scooped up immediately and then we have to listen to him crying to be put back down because he loves to run. But we love him more, enough to put up with the whining. As for Diesel, we're on the lookout for a sort of baby-sling but doggy sized so that we can take him out too. I know he isn't old or infirm but I'm telling you, he is so darn slow you would think he was both! A walk that should take half an hour normally, takes 45 minutes or more and the whole time he is hanging at the end of the leash behind you, so that it looks like you are dragging him down the street. And heaven forbid you take him onto ground rougher than the sidewalk because at the first bunch of grass or branch across the path, he is stuck like he has no idea how to deal with the difficulty. In the meantime, Max is jumping over it all like a little jack rabbit. As a matter of fact, that picture that Diesel is in, illustrates the maximum level of effort that he willingly puts out but only sometimes, maybe once a week. Notice that the activity takes place on the couch. That way if he is hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion, he can safely and comfortably collapse where he stands. So it's either a carrier of some sort for Diesel, or he'll get left home while Max gets out and we would just feel too bad. I think we're the stereotypical old people and their little spoiled dogs! How humiliating! Oh well, no excuses, we just love'em.

Spring is sprung, errr? springing!

2009-04-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yes I know, it has been a while, but honestly I have excuses! Lots of them, really I do. They range from we're still renovating, to I've been working on curtains, to my favourite which is my garden calleth! Yes indeed, the snow is gone except in the woods and the melt is draining and leaving things dry enough to begin digging in some places and today is simply wonderful. I started out wearing a turtle neck, a sweatshirt and my old ski jacket and by the time I'd been out there an hour I was down to the turtle neck sweater and feeling a bit overheated. So I have been having fun, digging and moving and contemplating, not necessarily in that order of course. It is a bit daunting starting a garden on what is basically a blank slate. Especially when the "canvas" that I'm working on feels so expansive as you can see by the photos. The previous owners did nothing here except mow the grass. But in a few years, this place will look terrific.

We have a deck on the back of the house, where it is a little more private from the road. But it is mostly in the shade and we've found that as the summers are a little cooler here than in BC, we tend to spend more time sitting on the side porch. Unfortunately, this is also where we have a huge expanse of driveway right in front, and so it is going to take some work to soften it and make it more appealing. While I did plant a number of small plants around this porch last year, as well as marigolds which do wonderfully here (no slugs to raze them to the ground overnight!), I have found over the years that I arrange gardens like I arrange furniture. Try it here, then if after a while you don't quite like it there, it gets moved until finally it finds the right place to actually grow in for the next few years. Unless of course, I change my mind again. Anyway, that is what I was doing this morning, rearranging the "furniture". It doesn't look like much, but after all, it's a work in progress. Later in the summer I'll take pictures again and show you what's been accomplished.

One thing that I am going to do, is build a trellis to grow honeysuckle on just about five feet from one corner of the porch. Last year we had the ruby throated hummingbirds beginning to visit our feeders and apparently they love honeysuckle so we'll lure them to the porch in droves! At least that is the plan. Anyhow, must go and check the blueberry muffins that I made before I started this. So have a nice day and I hope you have sunshine wherever you are.

"Hey Malarek"

2009-03-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

A beautiful day today, some snow melt so it was above freezing and felt almost summery (compared to what we are used to anyway). Summer better come soon because I just noticed that with all this winter inertia, I've put on a couple pounds. I NEED to get outside and work in my garden and the woods! I can't wait and I think that I'm finally feeling a bit of cabin fever when the end is in sight and it made me feel awfully cranky today. I admit to having to apologize to Don a couple times for that and it has weighed on my mind through the day. But tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start right.

So Don has been reading a book called "Hey Malarek" by Victor Malarek. That name might be familiar to you if you've every watched "The Fifth Estate" on tv as he is one of the program's hosts. Why did Don want to read this book you might ask. Well, you see, Victor Malarek was in the Weredalel Boys Home in Montreal at the same time that Don and his brother Bob were. He had to do a bit of searching on the internet, looking for a copy of the book, finally found one and it arrived earlier in the week. As he was reading it, it brought back all kinds of memories for him, mostly all bad, lots of sad, and as he said several times, just left him feeling wrung out from the emotional impact of it all.

Weredale Home For Boys was sort of like an orphanage except most of the kids weren't orphans. Just kids, who in the lottery of life had chanced to get stuck with families that were so disfuncional that at times they either could not, due to illness, or would not, due to choice, take care of their own kids. And if there weren't enough foster homes to go around, Weredale was where they ended up. But as bad as home might be, "the boys home" was worse. In the best of environments, children can be difficult, some violent, and often unhappy. Imagine then, a group of 160 (approximately) boys under one roof day in and day out, with only a minimal number of adults to supervise and each one bringing a load of baggage that children should not have to carry. But while this is a book about the destructive forces that impacted this group of boys in the early 60's, it's also a story about one of them who overcame a rotten start and in many ways is similar to the story of at least two others, who also overcame, Don and Bob McCabe. Despite growing up without loving, involved parents and in spite of the years in Weredale and foster homes, both Don and Bod became good husbands and good fathers as did Victor Malarek.

I haven't read the book yet myself but I will and reading it will give me a glimpse into the life that gave me the generous and loving husband that I have. I may be truly amazed and it will be interesting to say the least I think.

Signs of Spring - On My Windowsill!

2009-03-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

The day before yesterday was lovely in Nova Scotia. Temperature 9 degrees - ABOVE zero. I'm telling you it t was amazing and wonderful. Despite the piles of dirty snow, sitting like small mountains everywhere, the warmth lifted the spirits of everyone. Coats unbuttoned, smiling faces, everyone reveling in the promise of a soon coming spring. And if you stood still and listened, you could hear the sound of water trickling and running as the sun warmed and melted it.

And on my window sill, spring is springing. I've got some miniature alliums going and some miniature irises. Not that I am in the habit of forcing bulbs normally, but I'll tell you what I tried to do here. Last year, my dear husband saw a picture of a mass of blooming flowers in a photo and went on the hunt for the best deal he could find on flowering bulbs. And he found it! Don't remember how much the cost but that isn't the point anyway. What is important is that he found 400 bulbs of all sorts. Now that is very nice, unless you don't have flower beds ready for planting them into. I've done quite a bit as far a planting things around the house, but realistically we had so many things going on last year, and the fall before, that I didn't get as much done as I wanted to.

So here I am, 400 bulbs, and really no where to plant them and minimal time to get any kind of bed ready. I couldn't even think of a place that I would have liked to put them. And it got later and later and finally we came to a moment where in all likelihood, snow would be flying any day and we picked a place.....and got them into the ground. Man it was cold! Winter wind blowing (probably bringing snow with it) and we couldn't get it done fast enough. Eventually we got most of them in and just quit although there were two packages left, the alliums and iris's. After searching the internet for suggestions on how to overwinter the remaining bulbs, and finding little that was helpful, I decided to "plant" the bulbs in rubbermaid containers in some potting soil and then tuck them into the back of the fridge. And about two weeks ago I pulled them out and scrounged around for containers that would fit on my window sill. I came up with several bread pans, filled them with fresh soil and then very gently pulled the tangled, tender roots apart and then set them into the pans. So now I've got flowers coming along and when the blooms are done, and the ground has warmed up, then I will put them out in the garden. How much better than tossing out the left over bulbs as most of the internet advice suggested. Where there is a will, there's a way. Sometimes it pays to think outside the gardening box.

Spring is on its way folks! It will be here soon hooray, hooray, hooray! My window sill today, our gardens tomorrow----well maybe not exactly tomorrow, but you know what I mean. It's coming.

Lump of Coal....

2009-03-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Don and I sat listening to a car phone salesman and I was absolutely moved to tears and left speechless!!! Paul Potts from Cardiff, England has a voice that you would never expect. Quiet, unassuming in appearance, he shared the gift of his voice that literally had the audience on it's feet in awe. I watched it again this morning before I came here, just to make sure it wasn't a strange quirk in my mood yesterday and I have to tell you that the same thing happened. As he sang Nessun Dorma, I felt my chest tighten, and the tears began to well up in my eyes and then spilled over.

This is the link ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA ) and if you have a good set of headphones, even better and listen to this rising star. He will take you to the heavens with him as he sings and leave you breathless. You just can't imagine!

The World's Weight

2009-03-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

I am disheartened today. The weight of the world and the tragedies that abound lay across my soul, an unbearable burden that I fear will not be lifted - ever. That is not to say that I am not learning to push these things to the back of my awareness, focusing instead on the moment that I exist in now. But they lurk, waiting for that briefest instant when I'm not paying attention, to sneak back and steal away the peace that I seek.

Todays economy around the world, the result of a few whose greed and avarice knows no bounds apparently. Their riches and lifestyles at the expense of the majority. People losing their homes, their jobs. The suffering women in middle eastern countries. Today I read that a seventy-five year old Saudi woman has been sentenced to 40 lashes because a child that she'd helped raise although he was not her birth son, now a grown man, came with his friend, to bring her bread. Her crime - she sat in her home with a man that she is not related to. Yesterday, Don found a video where a man was talking about plastic bottle caps and the destruction that they cause in the natural world. Those things find their way into the oceans of the world, get caught up in the currents and sea birds mistake them for food and feed them to their chicks. And then the chicks grow and begin to forage on their own and they eat the bottle caps. He showed pictures of the dead chicks and their heads and wings and legs surrounded piles of bottle caps that they had consumed. He showed a picture of one of those rings that hold the bottle caps onto the juice jugs and a baby sea turtle had swum into one and it had stuck on it's little shell and the turtle had continue to grow. Only now the photo showed it only slightly smaller than dinner plate size, and the ring was still around the middle of its shell but the ring had not grown or stretched because after all those things are indestructible. You can imagine how it looked. Next week HBO will air a program called Death on a Factory Farm. I will not watch because I've seen, thanks to the internet, what happens to the animals who spend their short lives on factory farms. I think that is why I try to take very good care of Ambra and Sierra and Max and Diesel, to make up for the hurt of the others somehow. This is why Holly treats her little lovebirds like little feathered children even though Cricket can be a little brightly colored hag.
And Andy (our friend in Surrey), told Don last week, that the gang problem in the Lower Mainland of BC is an exploding problem and people are dying, innocent people who aren't even in the gangs but were in the wrong place at the wrong time, if it is to be believed that being in your own home behind closed doors is the wrong place!

How can we do this to our beautiful world? How can any man or woman believe that it is their right to rape and pillage this world and every living thing in it? Where is the tenderness and the compassion for all life? Where is the sense of responsibility that comes with being the so-called superior creature on this blue planet? Where is that duty to not take more than you need for living, so that others may take care of their families? I know that some feel that there will be a day of reckoning, others believe that history is doomed to an endless repetition, and others look towards a silent darkness. But in the meantime, the world is wrapped in a layer of misery....and we all pay the price in one way or another. Years ago, when Rodney King was beaten by L.A.'s police, the plea, "can't we all just get along", became the catch-phrase of the day. But I think that a more apt saying would be "can't we please all care"? Expand your hearts and minds and envelop the world with empathy and love.
Albert Schweitzer once said "Until he extends the circle of compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace."

Crystal blue mornings...

2009-03-04T05:58:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago we had a minor ice storm here, rain falling down but cold enough that the droplets froze on the trees and buildings. No power yesterday as a result of lines becoming too heavy, but we were warm in the family room around the woodstove. Coffee pot on top of it, not too bad really. So today, the clouds finally cleared and the icicles that decorate everything gleam like the finest crystal and I just thought that I would share a few pictures. These are the days that make winter not so bad in Nova Scotia!!!

Beautiful gardens and March mornings....

2009-03-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

Today is an ugly day. Minus 2 degrees and it is raining. As I drove to the yoga class that wasn't on today, I could see the coat of ice building up on the branches and trees along the road. Peoples driveways glistened like hockey rinks and front yards, still covered with snow, gleamed like fine china. It is supposed to warm up in the afternoon and then the rain will just collect in hollows and pot-holes so that when it drops in temperature tonight, it can freeze and make everything just a little more treacherous. This must be the part of winter people warn you about when you say you are moving to the East Coast. When the snow falls softly and quietly and lays gently on the land, it is so pretty and here they do such an excellent job of keeping roads clear. But there is little that can be done about the ice. The roads can be salted, but the driveways and barnyards are a bit more problematic. Must remember to take my calcium and do some weight-lifting this afternoon to keep my bones strong.

I spend a fair bit of time on the internet lately, lately dividing my time between a spiritual forum and a vegetarian forum. For a while I was also looking at one about the environment. The problem with these kind of arenas (forums) is that you can't discern body language or tone of voice so misunderstandings are frequent and in some instances these devolve into heated arguments. I've made a point of learning to be respectful and only offer opinion that is supported by the testimony of "experts" on the issue by linking to other websights in the body of my replies. For example, I recently was on the spiritual forum and someone started a thread about vegetarianism and spirituality, and I made a remark and included a link to an article that discussed a study recently put out by Dalhouse University on the subject of the environment and meat consumption. And while I've given this as an example of how one might back up a viewpoint with outside legitimate information, I'm not speaking of this discussion specifically. But the thing that I notice, regardless of what the subject is, that all to often, people don't even read the supporting information but instead are satisfied to just use "in my opinion" like that counts for anything in a discussion on the environment or health or....

The internet is a universe of information on any subject you can think of and it just boggles the mind that so many of its users don't take advantage of those who are experts and have put the information out there, apparently choosing instead to display their lack of understanding and insight on whatever the issue is. It always reminds of when I see the media do man on the street kind of interviews and they'll ask some person a question and the answer is so goofy that you are just speechless. Personally, I make a point of not responding if I don't know the subject, if all I can comeback with is "well in my opinion...." You're asking to get shot down if you do that.

But soon the weather will change and the garden will call out to me, "Debby, come out, I need to be dug/planted/moved!", and then the forums and annoying people will take a back seat to real life. Thank goodness for gardens! By the way, the picture is not my garden, but you needed something beautiful to take your mind off the drabness outside, so accept this offering of beauty and maybe one day the garden photo will be mine and it will be as lovely. Peace and joy to you on this March morning.

Snowshoes and blueberry muffins.

2009-02-06T18:54:00.001-08:00

What an incredibly gorgeous day! Blue, blue sky stretching from here to forever and the sun shining so brightly! Cold but great after warming up from the strenuous uphill walk on our new snowshoes. A casual stroll on a summer day but when there is two feet of soft snow it is no longer so but takes a serious and sustained effort with lots of little stops to catch ones breath. We had such a nice walk and came back feeling entirely worn out. Yessiree, got our excercise today. But what kept us going was the thought of having a nice coffee and my fresh baked blueberry muffins.

How long has it been.....

2009-01-31T18:16:00.000-08:00

It is just after 10:00 PM and while Don sits with his computer on his lap and Diesel snuggled onto one arm, I've managed to harden my heart enough to keep Max off of me, forcing him to spend time in his little bed in the corner. Don had mentioned that dust was beginning to gather on the blog because it had been two weeks (I was shocked as I hadn't noticed time passing) since I last wrote anything here. So because I needed two hands to type, Max has been exiled. Can you imagine how long it would take to write anything if I only had one hand to do it, and had to peer around a little mutt at the same time? Ages I think.

I just came in from the barn, last feeding before bed. It's so much warmer tonight than it has been. I like to stand out at the back of the barn on a sweet night like this, fluffy flakes of snow, just drifting down in the quiet night air and just absorb the stillness and try to become part of it as I look out towards the woods. So very peaceful. Maybe tomorrow I will try out my new snowshoes, at least I will if the snow falls all night. Yesterday, clippers in hand, I walked up the back hill to the woods and spent a couple hours roughing out a new little walking trail through a stand of firs there. The snow up the hill was so solid and had a nice crust that completely supported my weight. No way I would need snowshoes, but maybe tomorrow now that new snow is falling.

Let me tell you about these snowshoes. Remember the snowshoes of the old days? Wooden frame, lacing to support your weight. Well these are tubular aluminum frames, with stretched rubber bottoms and the inside, the part that your boot fastens to, is on a pivot so that your foot moves in a more natural way. Don's pair haven't arrived yet (we had to order them), but when they do, even deep snow won't stop us. Mind you, Holly and Sean, who also have a pair, say that using them is like six times more strenuous than just walking. So we may get out, but we won't be going for long walks if that's the case.

So anyway, I'm going to finish here for now, get some kindling for the fire in the morning and then to bed to bed. Ta ta for now and I'll talk to you again.

It is what it is.....

2009-01-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well and hello there to whomever chooses to spend a moment here. I'm feeling very peaceful today, and while the tremendous cold outside and the lovely warm fire inside might have something to do with the feeling of coziness and safety that I'm enjoying at the moment, the peacefulness comes from somewhere else, somewhere in my heart, somewhere in my mind.

For many years, in fact so many that I can't even say when it began, I've struggled with an inner sadness and fearfulness. When Don would say to me "oh don't worry", "you worry too much", I usually would counter with something like "somebody has to because you aren't!". Very astute wouldn't you say? And I would worry about things that "might" happen ten years down the road. I like to plan ahead you see. And of course, that worrying was generally accompanied by sadness. But in my defence, who wouldn't be sad, when confronted with the surety that everything you found important or worthy, was doomed to disappear in ten years! There were other things too that I worried about, other sadness that came and went, mostly came (and stayed).

I think that it was Shakespeare who once said "that all life's a stage" and we are only actors upon it. And now I am confronting the role that I've been playing on this stage of life and I feel like I could have, should have, done so much better. It has been a little role, only a bit part, but I've studied it and perfected it and it has become me to the point where my family have come to know only that character, the sad and worried standby. It has become me, and as I look back over the years, where we once were, the various difficulties that arose and then were passed by, the momentous events of our lives that I allowed the tough moments to overshadow, I am only regretful that the gold was buried as I sat mournefully contemplating the grief that I chose to wallow in.

So I'm here to say, that this day I've chosen to put away that sad role that I've been typecast into. It is no more, and the one that I am going to work on, and study and perfect, is that of the peaceful woman, who understands and accepts that life "is what it is" and regardless of what the situation might be, that "this too will pass". If it is a tough time in life, it won't last forever, and if it is a joyous day, week, or even only a moment, it too will pass, and so I should enjoy it and appreciate it while I can.

Of Merry Go Rounds and New Years.....

2009-01-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

I was going through my photos last night and with Don talking to Andy on the computer, this photo stood out of the lineup (and notice how the Naumanns are all lined up, why, it must be a coincidence or maybe even) a sign that I should use it and wish them all a Happy New Year! You all look so fine and seeing you reminds me that the one thing that Nova Scotia doesn't have is you guys. But thank goodness for the internet and phones and cameras right! So we must all look on the bright side even if sometimes you have to dig a little to find it.

It is snowing again here and our fire is making the family room warm and cozy. Diesel and Max are snoozing and we are feeling loose and limber from the yoga class we went to this morning. At the end of our yoga class, there is always a little relaxation period, a time where we are supposed to slow our minds down and keep the thoughts at bay so that even the brain gets a little time to rest. Harder to do than it sounds. But as I laid there, a little thought did pop in that another year has come and gone, new one begun, and what have been the blessings from all my experiences in the previous 365 days. I can say, without exception, that I have profited by all, yes all, the things that have come across my plate. I am more aware of who I am in this world, the good things that I have done, the mistakes that I have made that have again brought me clarity in understanding who I am and a new awareness and conviction that all we have is this moment, right now. I once read "the past is a memory, the future is a fantasy and all we have is now", the point being, how are you experiencing this moment? Are you savouring what it offers, or are you living in a past that is done and gone, or pinning your life to a fantasy? Slowly but steadily, I am learning to savour. I'm beginning to notice the unobtrusive special qualities of those moments that some might find of no importance and so, not worthy of notice. Like in the waning days of summer, as I stood by the wash line, hanging clothes up to dry in the sun and the breeze, and feeling the warmth on my back. Cleaning stalls one more time, and feeling good that when I brought Ambra and Sierra in, there would be food in their bucket and hay waiting in the manger. Or simply noticing and stopping to visually drink in the beautiful blending of white and purple in the petals of the african violets on my kitchen window sill, and how they sparkled in that one moment when the morning rays of the sun hit them at just the right angle. I am learning to be aware of these times, and when those niggling little voices that lurk in the dark corners of my mind, begin to whisper and attempt to agitate, I'm starting to recognize that that's what is happening and then turn away from those thoughts because I know now, that they have no value in my search for a peaceful existence.

At the core of everyone's life, I think, is a desire for peace and fulfillment. Some would arguably suggest that this is at the root of overspending, overwhelming debt-loads and the evidence of corporate greed that we have been watching in horrified fascination over the past year or so. Instead of finding their joy in the experience of that moment, the world has sought to find their fulfillment in things, and more things, and incredible amounts of money that are hard to even comprehend. For me, 2008 has been the beginning of stepping off one roller coaster and onto a gentler merry go round of life. And in 2009, as I sit astride my lovely, painted steed, I am going to see and savour the little things that pass me by, even as I pass by.

This Too Shall Pass

2008-12-30T18:26:00.000-08:00

We watched a movie tonight and though I can't recall the name Peter O'Toole was the lead character in it. I also can't remember the name of the young lady who was cast opposite him. She's too young and I grew up sort of with him. As Don said, we've watched him get old. It was about an old man who's friend has a nieces daughter come to live with him. Did you get lost in that or did you manage to keep up? Anyway, while the "uncle" can't stand this teenager, Peter O'Toole who shall be known as Morris becomes infatuated with her. Always a bit of a womanizer in his young days, she awakens something in him and he works at developing a relationship with her. She on the other hand, is at first put off by this old man but soon begins to take advantage of his affections, allowing him to buy her things ocassionally or take her out for lunch. At the same time though she becomes involved in a relationship with a boy her own age, which ultimately turn ugly during which Morris gets hurt. And as is so often the case, an injury for an old person suddenly bumps up his aging process. She in turn, is suddenly faced with the ugliness of her behaviour towards him and is stricken with remorse and volunteers to care for him as he recovers. Of course he soon dies and now she must grieve for him and in that grieving becomes aware, because of the turn out at his funeral, of the parts of his life that were, long before she knew him as an old man. Her attitude of course changes, she turns over a new leaf and becomes a better person, at least as far as we can tell.

Maybe this movie spoke to me because I am getting older myself. Sometimes, as long as I haven't walked past a mirror lately, I feel as though I am still young, at least in my mind. There are no wrinkles, no creases at the corners of my eyes or mouth, no grey hair, and a lifetime of possibilities ahead of me. But then I'm reminded that it couldn't possibly be that I am young, by my stiffness from sitting too long at my computer, or by not being able to see the recipe in my notebook even though I've written it with very big letters. So as I watched Morris responding to her, as he would have fifty years ago, only to have her recoil from him, instead of being welcomed because he was so old, and wrinkled and stooped and awkward, I think I saw myself, Don , all of mankind being forced to give in reluctantly to something that as young people, we never foresaw or would ever admit to. But I couldn't help but feel that even in the midst of his frustration, there was a certain grace that accompanied this whole process of aging and dying if you don't allow bitterness to creep in. Morris wasn't bitter and angry, instead just got on with life as he always had, just at a slower pace. I think that that is what I will try to do, just get on with life at a slower pace and to look at this moment, right now, as being all there is, for this too, shall pass.

Why I Am Here

2008-12-21T04:59:00.000-08:00

Max is draped across my lap, sleeping and beside me Diesel is snuggled into the folds of a blanket, also sleeping. I would leave them there if I could, just go on with reading but the time has come to go out to the barn. Early on, I could hear Ambra and Sierra out there, chewing on their stalls, banging their buckets; boredom, hunger, a little of both, demanding some attention. I pick up Max's little relaxed body and he hangs limply from my hands, only opening his eyes slightly as though to ask "how could you?" as I tucked him in beside Diesel.

At this time of year, it is layer upon layer upon layer, before you can step out the door. In the barn, the frost glistens on the window panes, and the horses breath is visible like a small fog bank that hangs around their noses, freezing on their whiskers and underfoot, the nights mess is frozen solid and it is like walking on scattered marbles. Ambra comes out first, and as we step into the sunshine from the gloom of the barn, her head comes up and she stares off at the hills and trees that lay along the back of the fields. Walking out to her paddock, her step is lighter and I can feel her energy like a barely contained charge of electricity. Even as I unsnap the lead rope, she realizes she is free and leaps forward, touching the ground so lightly that she almost seems not to make contact. Round and round, up the hill and back down again.

The new days sun shines low above the trees, casting long blue shadows across the fields and as she throws herself down on the hilltop to roll and roll again, she kicks up a cloud of fine, dry, soft snow and the light catches it and it sparkles and glitters as though she is some small and lovely creature caught in the tiny contained world of a snowglobe. Now done with that and back on her feet, she looks back expectantly at the barn, wondering why Sierra has not come out yet to join her in this revelry. So I turn back to the barn and going into Sierra's stall, I can feel that she also suffers from the same level of excitement and joyfulness that had overtaken Ambra. Once freed, she too runs and romps, floating over the snow in that lovely high Arab trot, tail waving high like a flag over her back, that always takes my breath away. She cruises back and forth in front of me, bucking occassionally, then turning to face me. Her neck is arched, and her eyes bright as she stares straight at me and takes a few steps forward, only to turn again and fly along the fence line with Ambra keeping pace on the other side. And as I stood in the sunshine and the snow, feeling the cold against my face and watching them enjoy their life, one more time, I had the thought that moments like this are why I am here.

("You cannot do a kindness too soon, because you never know how soon it will be too late"
Ralph Waldo Emerson )

Photo by: Rian Houston of Colorado

Seasons Greetings!

2008-12-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

Seasons greetings to you all! It is looking like it will be a white Christmas after all. While we'd had some snow a few weeks back, it had all melted and then the days alternated between rain and sunshine, some of them cold and some downright suntanning weather. A few days ago it was 19 degrees! Can you believe it? But as I said, Seasons Greetings and best wishes for the New Year to one and all.

I am often glad that I am forced to get out of the house in the morning to take care of Sierra and Ambra. Today was one of those times because the light was soft, and it was not too cold even though it had snowed the day before. The snow was dry and powdery and only ankle deep. At moments like that I am sometimes tempted to be spontaneous, be the wild one (yeah right!), and throw caution to the wind and ------go for a walk. But then common sense prevails, "you need to have breakfast, you haven't had a shower yet, you are in your pjamas......", and I usually listen to that little practical self that sits on my shoulder and I go back to the house, the fire and my first cup of coffee of the day. But after sitting around a bit, and doing a few things I finally felt I could justify slacking off to enjoy this beautiful day up close.

The nice thing about our property is that we can go for a walk and see a variety of views and vistas. Open snowy fields with that blazing blue sky above, little brooks trickling darkly beneath overhanging branches that are weighted down by fat cushions of snow, tall evergreens with branches draped in overcoats of glistening crystals and distant hills lying quiet and glazed under a blanket of white and blue. So very pretty and we feel very blessed to be able to have this experience in total.

2008-12-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

I'm in a funny kind of mood today. Sort of coasting in neutral you could say..... maybe the weather, grey, low hanging clouds, snowing lightly in fits and starts, but not real cold, is making me feel that way. Maybe the time I already put in to altering some curtains that I bought, only to discover that a quick run through the dryer shrank them so much that I have to take out what I already did and start again, is making me feel that way. Maybe I'm just getting so relaxed and I'm not used to feeling this way. I'm just not real sure what it is all about. I do know that I had plans to go into town and do some grocery shopping and run a few errands, but the weather man's warning of icy rain(bad roads?) put me off until about noon. It was warm, well sort of, and no rain, so I decided I would follow through on those plans which meant I needed to get into something a little more town-worthy instead of the sweatpants that I'd been schlepping around the house all day in. By the time I was ready, the snow had started falling! New plan, stick with the plan of staying home after all. Well, to make a long story short, the snow fell for an hour, didn't stick at all, and by then I had bread rising and I was not going to try the town plan again. But that didn't mean that I wasn't totally bugged and frustrated. I like to make a plan and then follow through, sort of tunnel vision and town and errands were at the end of the tunnel originally. All this might explain the funny mood that I am in.

The one thing that makes me feel good no matter what, is our puppy-potty. The dogs are heading straight for the bathroom door in the mornings now when I let them out of the kennel, instead of the back door. The habit is getting stronger which means that it won't be long before we can take our eyes off them when they are walking around the family room. Diesel was used to doing his business indoors in the old shower, but Max arrived at our house in summer and the bathroom was being renovated already so this is all new to him. But he's getting the hang of it now. The shower was replaced by a tiled curb and a hand-held shower and then I filled the basin with gravel. So they do their business, I rinse (or pick up, whichever is necessary) and it all stays clean and odor free. When you have very small dogs and you live where the snow can get much deeper than they are tall, this is the ideal solution. So much nicer to guide them into the bathroom than to stand there in ones housecoat with the rain coming down first thing in the morning. So much nicer.

But I've put off getting back to work on my darn curtains long enough. At this rate, they'll never be done. So I will force myself to put the computer away (I should call it my lap top time waster) and do what I need to do. I would dearly love to be done with them. So til later......

Coffee breaks and puppies...

2008-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

Another coffee break with my sweetie.....one of the things that Don and I have always attributed our good relationship to is the habit of going out together for coffee each day. It got us out of the house and took me (especially) away from the never ending to-do list. We focused on each other and shared our days events. We actually communicated! The feeling was that if we stayed at home for coffee, it would be too easy to each grab our coffee cup and head for different corners. Here there is only a Tim Hortons close by, no Wired Monk, no Starbucks, no Esquires, so now we stay home because you can only go to Tim Hortons so many times before you are tired of it. And instead of preservative laden, hormone filled goodies to go with the coffee, I found a blueberry muffin recipe that is fabulous. No eggs, no milk, no butter and they are so good. When Holly and Sean came for a visit, she brought her favourite vegan recipe book to show me and after checking it out, I ordered one of my own and that is where this recipe came from. Diesel and Max really appreciate our having coffee breaks at home too, and I'm sure they've come to understand the phrase "come and get your coffee" because the minute they hear that, they are right there at our heels, waiting for their share of whatever is the treat of the day. They are so spoiled silly puppies. Now I should look for another fabulous recipe as I think they would like a change, spoiled little mutts that they are.

The Tiny Reprieve

2008-11-30T09:53:00.001-08:00

The last time that we got together here, the images were as in the depths of winter, drifts of snow piled up against the car, blanketing the driveway, and the thoughts that crossed my mind were much the same, with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads and snuggling down for a long winters nap, and all that sort of thing.

Tomorrow is the first of December and we've gotten a tiny reprieve from the inevitable layer upon layer of the white stuff since then. The snow has been melting gradually and today I felt that it would be a crime to let it pass us by so I put a saddle on Sierra and then the three of us went for a walk. I didn't get to go up into the woods unfortunately because the heavy snow had bent many of the little birch saplings down across the trail so that it was impassable on horseback. In the summer, I think that Don and I will take out some of them back ten feet or so from the trails so that next year, the trails stay open. Oh well, the sun was shining, only a slight breeze and I didn't get dumped. I think if I had different horses, maybe a couple of old bomb-proof quarter horses, I wouldn't always feel so blessed that I ended the ride on top of the horse. But Ambra and Sierra are Arabs through and through and in some regards match the stereotypes perfectly. I've often thought that while some horses would succumb in a crisis very quickly, because my girls are so reactive, they would survive much longer because they're immediate inclination is to head for the hills. Fortunately for me, they are very well behaved and well trained so they listen pretty good.

I've spent so many of the moments that I have alloted to me, waiting for the other shoe to fall, certain that something was going to go wrong, even in the midst of a good life. But I think that I am finally learning to live "in the now" and to appreciate this day, this hour, this moment, without the fear that it might be taken away. I suppose that my early way of looking at life would have been considered very pessimistic. Don on the other hand, has always been much more optimistic. While I am agonizing over whether or not we could/should take a chance on retiring at the time that we did, Don was always the one encouraging me that it will all work out, it'll be just fine.

The thing is, when you are always waiting for the worst, you get so caught up, that it gets very easy to not enjoy what is good about today. So today, I went riding over the hills and snowy fields, and I made a point of noticing all my blessings and right now, it is all just fine.

Winter Song

2008-11-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

In the dark hours of the night, when the world was still and sleeping, the snowflakes began to fall, adding to the whiteness that already blanketed the blueberry hills. It was not a muffled stillness that awoke me, but the sound of the wind, rushing and pushing through the bare branches of the trees, shaking and rattling them like the bare bones that remind us of the summers past life. The sounds that woke me were the groaning of the old house as the wind hurled itself against the walls, seeking an entrance to even this haven that was safe from its onslaught. Carefully pushing the covers aside and slipping into a robe, I went down the stairs, stepping cautiously in the half light of early morning. It was hard to see what was happening on the other side of the kitchen window because the wind had blown little clumps of snow up onto the glass. Only the dark, tossing branches of the big maple tree outside were visible, all else being indistinct in a grey-white shroud that blurred the lines of the world.

The family room was still warm from the previous nights fire. A new fire, another day, and the routine that would fill the weeks ahead had begun again. Another act in this grand play that is life. Quiet strains of classical music drifting around the room, weaving in and out with the sounds of the wind outside creating our own winter song.

It's early yet but the fan that sits atop the woodstove spins feverishly, a sure sign that the fire inside has been burning for a while already. Diesel and Max are laying on their little pad beside it, basking in the steady warmth that radiates off it, warming the room and keeping the winter cold at bay. While Diesel dozes, Max lays up against him, finding comfort in that touch, even as he gnaws on his chew toy. His teeth snap and pop on it. Maybe his vigor will help loosen up some of the baby teeth that refuse to let go even though his adult teeth are almost in place. I wonder if Diesel is pleased in his little doggy mind, that Max is there? Does his world feel complete because there is another dog in the house? Max teases him unmercifully, crashing and running over him, whirling and feinting at him, all in an effort to goad him into a typical dog play response. Sometimes all Diesels fears and anxieties disappear momentarily and he joins in the fray and I swear that he truly grins for the sheer joy of it all. Other times, he crumbles into a little brown heap of phobias and anguish, screaming and quivering. Anyone who thinks that animals can't suffer from mental illness have never met Diesel.

This will be a day for inside things, art projects, sewing, maybe a tv movie or a video. The snow that still blows and dances outside precludes the trip to town that I'd contemplated last night. The last two packets of flower bulbs that are laying on the steps inside the barn will not get planted after all and Ambra and Sierra will snooze in their stalls. And the wind will howl and the fire flicker and pop, and we will be thankful for all that we have.

Who really cares?

2008-11-17T16:15:00.000-08:00

You know, I was going to start this piece with a trite description of what the weather has been like over the past few days, but then the thought suddenly occurred to me, "who really cares?". Have you ever launched into a description of some event in your life, or a situation that you were dealing with, and have that thought suddenly pop into your mind even as you are mid sentence. And as your lips are still moving, and you look at the person that you are talking too, you feel an overwhelming desire to just quit talking, but you know that if you do that, while you may feel some momentary relief as a result of giving in to that urge, it will quickly be followed by the uncomfortable notion that some might think you are nuts, unless of course, you feel compelled to give an explanation in which case, you are only exchanging one long, winding explanation for another. Who really cares?
We fill up our days and our communications with the mundane, finding safety I suppose in these words that act like a screen to keep our souls safe from the curious eyes of the world. It is easier than talking about the things that touch us in the most intimate of ways, pain so exquisitely pointed at the core of our being, emotional hurts that we cannot bear to speak of, humilitiations, joys....our own private stories. Do we really want to tell our truths? And how do we decide whom to tell those truths to?

Or maybe I'm just tired.

Bonsai garden....

2008-11-10T05:43:00.000-08:00

I've been laid low by a virus for the past couple days. Lack of sleep, periodic coughing spells and lack of interest in food have all combined to leave me just a bit worn out, even when I've just gotten up in the morning. But I'm on the mend I think and then I can start taking care of Don, because he is beginning to sound a little sniffly. We haven't had a cold/flu in so long, I guess we are due.

The morning has dawned, warm and golden. The sunshine streaming through the kitchen window feels pleasant and lights up the plants that I have on the window sill. Some people like African violets on the sill over the sink, a lovely array of pinks and purples, blues and lavenders. But I have little bonsai in training. Mind you, they aren't your typical junipers and japanese maples. These are plants that do well indoors and they are small size (called mame which is pronounced "mammy"). When we lived in BC, I had quite a nice little collection of great bonsai. As nice as some that I see on a bonsai website that I like to go to. But they ranged in size up to 2' high, quite large really and with correspondingly large pots. Unfortunately, when we moved, it wasn't possible to fit the big pots and all into the car so I donated them to the local bonsai club to be used as raffle prizes. I thought that when we arrived here in NS, I would give up the bonsai hobby. Too much work and maintenance. While I don't have the big ones anymore, I have started a few small cuttings with the intention of developing this very small size. In the event that we ever move again, particularly into an apartment one day when we are really old and rickety, I can take a few little plants with me.

I have a little fuschia and I'm developing a small flowered chrysanthemum, as well as a few Chinese elms. Chinese elms are actually interesting as a bonsai subject. They are a tree that will grow up to 50' tall, but you can maintain them in a size that will fit in the palm of your hand and as the small pot size restricts their growth, the leaves are correspondingly tiny. The pictures above are of the fuschia and chrysanthemum, part of my indoor garden.

When I Was a Child...

2008-11-08T05:18:00.000-08:00

When I was a child I read voraciously. The printed word was the passion and I read books beyond my years, each of which carried me into another world where I could live the lives of people who's existence seemed far more exciting that the one I trudged through day after day. Instead of walking along the sidewalk on my way to school, I often found myself stepping through a woodland path, lined with the quiet blue of violets and touched by the sweet kisses of the warm summer sun, filtering through the lace canopy of trees that hung overhead. The sound of birds calling to one another was the music that followed me along that peaceful road. Hardly lifting my head as I stepped off the curb became an act of picking my way across the water-worn rocks that poked above the brook that forever found its way down to the sea. The blaring horns of city traffic were not worthy of notice in the face of the clarion calls of trumpets and the clash of armour and booming artillary or the whispered words of a lover scorned. These were the worlds that I moved about in, like a wraith that longs for what once was, lonely, haunted, and haunting.

Then my children were born, and the books were put away. The act of my sitting, whether to read or to write a letter, became a signal that I was available to be climbed on or simply cuddled with. Good purposes all, but not something that could be done at the same time that I was trying to find out what had happened in that other world. Printed words and far away places and times were set aside for the place in time that had become my new lot in life.

But now, the children are long grown and gone, and only one grandchild who tomorrow, will again be far away. Our big projects are winding down and the winter winds are on their way. My eyesight began to change a long time ago and I'm wondering how long it will be before the reading glasses from the pharmacy will meet the increasing limitations that I find myself struggling with, so the art that I used to fill the time with before is becoming less comfortable to do. I am turning back to the books that used to draw me in and allowing them to illuminate my world again. Paint their pictures with words carefully chosen. Giving back to me the worlds that I used to haunt

Sunset Years.

2008-11-06T05:19:00.000-08:00

Now that the big chores are done, the list of projects diminished to where we can putter or put things off, I am finally facing retirement. What to do? Of course there are the day to day things to do, the things that keep our days moving forward, a moment at a time. But when I sit quietly, as I have learned to do of late, and just be, then I find myself wondering....is this all there is? I have no passion it seems, not like I used to. In a time long ago, I was passionate about my garden, my horses, my art, and found then that the day to day demands of life got in the way of those things. Now those things have joined the day to day things.

How do you rekindle a passion, or find a new passion or a meaning or a purpose? Is this all there is? How many decades are left to me to wonder these thoughts aloud and in the quiet of my mind? Is this all there is?

Maximum Dog, Mad Max....

2008-11-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

I don't think that I've introduced you all to our new dog and just by saying that, I think that I've put Don and I squarely in the arena of old folks who dote on their little mutts with an intensity usually reserved for first time parents. A couple days ago, Don called me upstairs to his office. He had come across some old videos that we'd made several years ago, of Casey, Lucy and Diesel. We stood there watching and remembering Casey and Lucy, remembering how Lucy would come when called and then drop flat to the floor to be petted or how Casey would prance over to be petted and then be so nervous that she could only take it for a moment or two. Right now Don is sitting on the couch with Diesel sleeping in his arms, unable to do anything because "it will disturb the dog". I tell you, they have us wrapped firmly around their hairy little paws!

Anyway, this new little guy is named Max and is also a Chihuahua although I do think there might be a little something else mixed in there. But he is a little guy, only about five pounds. Where Diesel is short legged and solid and chunky and moves like an ancient dog, Max is long and very lean and active and athletic. They are polar opposites. Max loves to play and wrestle and tries to antagonize Diesel into getting involved but he really has to work at it. More often than not, Diesel just stands there and takes the abuse and as you can see in one of the above pictures, often seeks refuge in the dog kennel when he just can't take it any more.

We sure love these little dogs. They make us smile constantly. Diesel with his tongue peeking out and Max, always wagging his tightly curled little tail. Because winters are harsh here, we remodelled our bathroom that is downstairs. There was a shower in it and we replaced it with just a little tiled lip and then tile a foot up the two walls. I filled it with gravel and on the wall hangs a hand held shower. That is the puppy potty. They can lift their leg against the tiled wall and then we rinse it down right away. It is perfect and they are learning to use it quite easily. Mind you, you can teach a dog to do just about anything with love and a treat.

What We Did On Our Holidays....

2008-10-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

We've had a good day, lots to do and lots done. It was good. It was very warm although the sky was overcast and drizzly. So I spent some time cleaning up the workbench in the barn, trying a couple of new recipes from the super, terrific Vegan cookbook that Holly suggested when she was here, and I made another jacket for Max, our other little dog. I don't think I've introduced him have I? Well, I'll have to take a picture of him and do that in the next couple days.

So Holly and Sean were here for two weeks and it was fantastic having them here. We cooked together, rode horses together and just happily hung out. We went up to Cape Breton for three or four days, staying in Sydney for the nights. We went to the fort at Louisebourg and that is amazing. It was an active, thriving French fort in the 17th century with about 10,000 people who lived and worked there, at its height. As it was well past tourist season, when we were there, the dramatic enactments of life there were pretty much over, but we still enjoyed strolling around and imagining what life might have been like there four hundred years ago. Then we spent a day driving the Cabot Trail and that is where some of the pictures that you will see in the link that I will include here, come from. The wild rocky coastline is gorgeous and a counterpoint to the glowing gold and red of the maples and birches that blanket the hillsides.

Another day was spent on PEI and Holly lost her heart to that little island province. It's pastoral beauty was too much for her! That day was also lovely with blue skies and no wind to cool the air. We had lunch in Charlottetown before heading home across the Confederation Bridge. The bridge is far more interesting to look at from a distance. But the sides are closed in so that you can't see anything unless of course, you are in a truck and sit higher than our car.

By the way, those pictures of the red hills, rimmed with colorful maples were the blueberry fields up behind our house. Holly and I rode up there and the color was spectacular! The last couple days of their visit, were spent just chillin' at home, riding the hills. No urgency to go here or there, just time spent together. It was so nice and came to an end far to soon. If you want to see some pictures that Don took, here is a link that you can click on. A picture is worth a thousand words and words will never be as beautiful as the pictures, so take a minute and a tour of Nova Scotia....

http://gallery.me.com/coolslug#gallery

The Summer is gone....

2008-10-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

The days have flown by since we first arrived, summer into fall into winter into spring into summer and now the autumn again. And through it all I have felt immersed in a whirlwind of activity with deadlines around every corner. But the light shines at the end of the tunnel for us now and we plan on being finished with the garage by the end of the week and then there is little do save the usual year end things. Raking leaves, raking leaves, and then there is raking leaves. The garden patch which we had started in the summer was left to languish and the weeds started in again and I hope to finish turning that over and pull them out yet before the snow flies but we shall see. The fall has been beautiful, clear blue skies, little rain, warm days and with the inevitable cold that lies ahead, I am reluctant to spend these precious hours inside at some sewing that I have waiting, so outside I go, just one more day.

Holly and Sean were here for two weeks that seemed far too short, and now they are gone once again. We had such a good time and in my next post I will post some pictures and talk more about our visit. Just to let them know, we miss their faces and the pitty pat of their little feet.

My marigolds froze last night, the miniature roses still look lovely (they like the coolness I suppose) and the leaves are almost off the trees and it is getting cold enough outside at night that the dogs are quick to do their business and come back in to the warmth of the wood stove. But now I will leave you. My bread must be popped in the oven and the pot of soup stirred so that the hungry pit upstairs can be fed some supper. Til next time my loves....

Dragon Flies and Myths....

2008-08-24T03:30:00.000-07:00

The phone call was taking up all my attention, the passing of news from one to another, family events and such. The sun was shining outside after many days of grey clouds and off and on rain, and so for a change, the patio door was open to let the breezes and fresh air take away the staleness. A loud clattering against the window glass suddenly made the conversation of less importance, especially as the noise was on the inside. It was accompanied by the sound of a vibration, a buzz. A huge dragon fly had for some reason decided that a tour of the house was in order, but maybe realized his mistake immediately and was trying hard to find his way back to the garden. First one window, then another, then another.... Don came in at that moment and phone still in hand, I pointed out the lost wayfarer, and he captured him in a small handtowel and released him back to the world beyond the glass.

Watching Don save the bug reminded me that when he was a little boy, someone, his bother Bob perhaps, told him that you have to be careful of dragon flies because they will sew your lips shut. To a small child that likely seemed perfectly plausible considering the long, very thin and seemingly pointy tail that they had. So he would clap his hand over his lips when he would see one and run as fast as his little legs would carry him. It has been a standing joke between he and I, that at the sight of a dragon fly now, we also, would clap our hands over our lips as we shouted a warning, with a huge smile for one another.

Children are so gullible and will swallow the silliest stories completely. But they also believe stories that aren't meant to be jokes. I remember when I was old enough to read, I saw a magazine in a doctors waiting room (or somewhere else perhaps, not that the where really matters), and there was a story with a caption about an asteroid or meteor hitting the earth and causing destruction, etc., etc. Being very young, I didn't read the whole story and likely misunderstood it as well, but I believed that it was a warning that this was in fact going to happen. I worried and was afraid for months over this.

Casual comments, meant in fun, or information not explained well enough can cause anxieties that children shouldn't have to carry around with them. I will have to remember this when I am with Liam. I wouldn't want him writing a blog when he is older and remembering how his Grandma messed with his mind when he was a little kid.

The Hummingbird Sparkle....

2008-07-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

We've been working so hard on renovating houses for the past year, but in the back of our minds, the forest calls to us. We've walked up there a few times, talked in vague terms about the plans we have, but done nothing to speak of. Until now. Kim and Oliver and Liam have moved into the Stanley Street as of three days ago and we fully intend to do nothing that involves paint brushes, hammers, saws or anything else of that nature for at least a couple weeks so now the time is right to work up in the woods in the grand tradition of Paul Bunyan and Babe, the blue ox. Paul was big and young and he could handle an axe all day long without tiring. But we are old and little and Ambra would never pull a log. So instead, we will have a chain saw and a tractor and a bush hog and we will not work all day long, only until we are pooped or bored, whichever comes first.

Yesterday, Don went up with the tractor and the bush hog in the morning while I did gardening. Every so often, I would hear the sound of branches crashing and snapping, or a dreadful grinding, roar. But my phone didn't ring with Don on the other end, screaming for me to get help and I puttered around the yard. It was quiet with no baby Liam at the living room window, calling out to me for attention, almost a little weird. I think that I had gotten kind of used to them being here. After all, it's been almost three months.

Today, we took the chain saw up and in the morning, cut up the small trees that had to be pushed out of the way, picked up branches for chipping later and just had the grandest time. By lunchtime, we were pooped so back to the house. A bite to eat and then time to relax for a bit but the air was still cool and the rain had not begun yet as promised by the weatherman, so revived by a coffee and a piece of pie, we decided to go back up to the woods. This time we took the tractor and the brush hog with the plan of extending the trail instead of continuing the cleanup on the first one. You know what they say, "a change is as good as a rest".

There is a fern glen that at the right time of year is quite nice, shaded and quiet. I've always liked it, although going there before August is not advisable because it is also the nicest place for mosquitoes to raise their families. But now we decided to extend the trail through it. First one tree down, then branches cleaned off a big old fir, now time to stop and take stock of what the next move might be. While we were standing there, from the corner of my eye I caught a movement. It was slow, and seemed to float gently through the air, but because it was so small and so erratic, it was hard to tell what it was. I figured that it was possibly a fat, lazy June bug and as both Don and I watched it's wobbly progress, it hovered for a moment over a twig and then softly came to rest, hardly moving the twig so light was its landing. A fat, tiny baby hummingbird, possibly trying out his first long distance flight. Oh my gosh it was adorable! He rested for a few brief moments and then the little cutie launched himself off into the woods again. The baby "hummer" was the highlight of the day for me and while I will always enjoy our trail and remember the fun we had clearing it, the little bird adds just the right amount of sparkle to the memory.

Kung Foo Liam

2008-06-26T03:37:00.000-07:00

I just thought that you all might like to see a true kung foo master. Look at that form, that concentration. Bad guys beware.

Light Shows and a Lot of Bull...

2008-06-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

I had to go out late, after we'd watched a movie in the evening, to get the horses off the side pasture, and right after I'd done that, I came in to try and coax everyone outside into the dark. This is the time of year that the fireflies dance. It was magnificent, little sparks of light all over the hillside and in the trees. We stood there in the dark pasture just absorbing the magic. Fortunately, the mosquitos were either over at the neighbors or we didn't appeal for the evening, because our reverie wasn't cut short by the attack of the little torturers. Such a delight in so many ways. I wish we could share it with you.

And earlier, much earlier, while Don was having his morning coffee out on the porch, I happened to look over his shoulder as I came out to tell him something, and saw a great big bull moose, standing there on the hillside as he watched the horses. He was very curious about everything and just strode across the hillside and back again. No hurry, no worry, just stop and look, few more steps, stop again. So cool! Then just as casually, he disappeared into the woods. I remember reading a little piece in a small paper a few months back and a local person had said that although she'd been born here, she'd never seen a live moose. Here we are, barely a year and one strolls across our back yard. A couple weeks ago, we also watched a mother deer take her little baby for a walk across the back hill. Our hillside is our theatre it seems. So here is a picture of Mr. Moose for your viewint pleasure.

Bugs, bugs and MORE BUGS!!!

2008-06-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

Our summer has finally arrived, hot and humid! On the other hand, maybe it's just warm and I'm in a sweat all the time because of hot flashes---hmmm, wonder which it is. Whatever the case, the warm weather has brought out the flies and my poor Sierra and Ambra are going crazy. A few days ago, I took their halters off at the pasture gate, and later, noticing that they were galloping back and forth in the field, I went out to discover that they were being swarmed by a couple dozen great big,brown deer flies. They were so frantic I could hardly get their halters back on so that I could take them into the barn. Poor girls. You know, when all the transplanted easterners used to tell me how beautiful Nova Scotia is, not one of them ever mentioned the flies. Anyway, at this point, I'm thinking that I will have to buy full cover mesh fly sheets with a belly bank and a neck cover so that they will be able to graze at all. Even if I leave them out at night, right now the mosquitos get them after dark. They are loosing weight because their grazing is being affected and they are wearing off the calories just be trying to evade the flies. I am going to measure them tomorrow for sheets and we will see.

Who is he?

2008-06-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

Last week, a terrible thing happened and if you are a follower of Kims blog you will have already heard but for those that aren't, a quick lowdown. Kim and Oliver had two little dogs, one named Boo and the other called Griffen. To make a long story short, little Griffen, who by the way was the dearest little fellow, was killed. We've all been devastated by his passing (our family is very, very, very attached to our little mutts, thinking of them as family, not pets). Anyway, Don thought that a new puppy might help ease Kim and Olivers grief, so he was looking on Craigslist and found several that he subsequently called about. And as you might know from Kims blog, she found a little merle puppy, four weeks old, that she decided to buy. Even though he is with his mom still, he now has a name and it is Mr. Bingley.

In the meantime, a lady who Don talked to during the search, finally sent Don a photo of her little guy, and to make a long story short (again), we now have a new little charmer too. We haven't decided on a name yet, we have a harder time with names than Kim does, but so far the choices are Patches, Digbey, Bingo, Smudge, Little-bugger-peed-on-the-rug-again, and my least favorite, Bytore. He is very different from Diese,l who was born old. Diesel never, even as a puppy, knew how to play. He is very serious and awkward and fearful of getting hurt if he attempts to climb over anything and I could never get him to chew on acceptable toys which is supposed to be good for their teeth.. This little fellow on the other hand, is fearless, and likes to play whenever he isn't sleeping, and chews on whatever fits into his mouth and some things that don't.

Sitting here discussing names, we got to talking about Diesel and came to realize what a good little dog he is. He has never chewed on anything and destroyed it, he is very quiet, put him on the couch and he's stuck there, you can keep him from escaping by simply putting a six inch board across the doorway. But now I think we will have to exchange the 6" board for a 6' fence , possibly with rolls of barbed wire on the top. Yes indeed, things will be different around here.

Holly, I didn't want to tell you because I know how much you want a dog but your life is in such a place right now that it just wouldn't work. I knew how sad you would be sweetie and I feel bad for you, but your time will come, it will.

Anyway,here are a couple pictures of this new member of our family.

2008-06-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

We had the nicest day today. We played hooky from renovating and instead, we went to a yoga class together in Pugwash. Yes, can you believe it, yoga! I thoroughly enjoyed it and the lady who teaches is a tiny, and very nice lady named Mary. She is very good at helping you understand the movements and their benefits and how to achieve them and she makes you feel very comfortable even if you are only a beginner. And at the end, during the time that you lay quietly and let your muscles all relax, she play some beautiful music made up primarily of gongs. Very melodic and very spiritual sounding. I am looking forward to Monday when we go again. Don decided to give yoga a try because he always has such stiff tight muscles, especially in his shoulders and neck. He thinks that might explain the frequent headaches he was experiencing. Anyway, after going once, he suggested I might like it so I decided to come along and I'm so glad I did.

But enough of that, the other thing that I have lately been renovating is my horse stalls. Did I mention that yet? I can't remember. Anyway, I had two smallish box stalls and one standing stall. The boxes were too small for a horse Sierra's size and because she is a bit nervous she is inclined to pace and circle and this just makes a horrible mess of her stall. So I've changed things to two very wide standing stalls where they will be tied for the night and this will keep their business ends in one place so they won't be eating their hay out of the manure, and they will lay down and sleep on a clean area. I'm almost finished with it and when the rubber mats are delivered, I'll build the mangers and then I'm done with that. And one more thing to check off on the To Do List. Hmmm, what can I add on to fill in the newly opened spot then?

Racing against the calendar....

2008-06-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

Yes I know---it has been a long time since I wrote anything here, but honestly, the summer has arrived and it seems like I've been waiting since forever to be able to be outside in the sunshine! I need my garden time, or Debby becomes a dull (and cranky) girl. So sorry, just can't help it. Mind you, we are still working on the Stanley Street house for Kim and Oliver so that has kept me hopping too. But it is coming along and before you know it, I'll be putting some before and after pictures on just to impress you with the hard work we've been doing. Just think, in the course of one year, we will have upgraded and renovated three, count 'em, three houses! I am looking forward to retirement.

I have so many projects that I want to accomplish and I feel like I am in a race against the clock (or should I say calendar). Don and I have started a garden area, but that won't get planted until next year. But at least the sod has been removed. We need to get a rototiller as the next step is breaking up the hard packed ground before we add back a some topsoil. We also would like to get a start on a new roadway up into our woods and extend the walking trail. The original roadway was also a natural low spot on the hillside, so in the spring, it becomes a trickley little stream and as a result is not an easy or comfortable stroll. And I want to put some fence posts in so that I can leave the horses in the field when we go to town. I just don't feel comfortable leaving them inside a temporary hot wire when we go away from the property. I have visions of lawsuits dancing in my head I guess (should they decide, for some unfathomable reason, to walk through the wire and go for a stroll up the road). And of course, there is always the yardwork that I love to do....just not enough time, that's all I can say.

Giant babies and visitors!

2008-05-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

It has been an awful long time since I wrote anything here and I am sorry for that, but I've just been so busy----when will it all end?!! Kim and Oliver and Liam got here the day after Mothers Day and since then we've been working like crazy to make the little Stanley Street house ready for them. We'd quit working on it at all because we decided to focus on our place and make it livable, but of course that meant that now, almost everything needed to be done at Stanley Street. So busy, busy, busy. At some point I will put on some photos of that place too because the change has been dramatic there let me tell you.

So Kim and Oliver got here, their trip was pretty uneventful except I think they did sleep one night in their van. I guess Oliver likes to drive long spells and when he finally got pooped they weren't near a motel, so they just tucked themselves into their seats for the night. Must have been tough, all day in the van and now the night and then the next day. Yechh. But they got here and having them stay with us has been nice. And Liam has had the chance to get to know his grandma and grandpa gradually and easily. For the first four or five days, we didn't even touch him, just said his name lots and played peek-a-boo for a moment or two over and over. He would always "hide" behind his hand initially. And gradually he started looking back at us, although still from behind his hand. Then one day, when Kim had to go out of the room for a second and he started whining, I scooped him up, quickly threw a sweater around him and we headed right out the door to go look at the horses. He hardly had a second to think about what was happening before he was distracted by Ambra and Sierra. So we stayed there for about five minutes and then came back in and from that moment on you could see him beginning to thaw. And now he smiles at us and is happy to come into the kitchen (without his mommy or daddy) and shows us things.

You can see by the photos, that he is a big boy (or maybe I'm just smaller than I thought?). Kim said the last time they weighed him he was about 31 pounds (at 15 months) and that was about a month ago. His head is as big as Kims. Kim was a little, skinny baby so this size comes from his father that's for sure. Now that he's comfortable with us, it is easy to see how lucky Kim and Oliver are as parents because Liam is a sweet, happy little boy and very affectionate. It's so nice to be able to get to know him this way and it will be fun to watch him as he grows up. I think that he might grow up and be very chatty because he chatters away like he's having the most important conversation. It is very cute.

While Oliver will be going off to work in town on the house, Don and I are going to get busy and do some work on my barn. We've lost the last sawdust supplier in this region (owner of the mill died and family shut the business down) so I have to re-think my stall situation for Ambra and Sierra. I have two small box stalls and while Ambra's isn't too bad because she is smaller, Sierra's becomes a cesspool, because she paces in it, scattering the mess overall. So I've decided to remake the stalls into two largish standing stalls so the mess is only at the business end. It's not ideal, but if I am going to have to buy sawdust in bales during the winter, then this will use less. I will be putting rubber mats down too so that they can lay on them comfortably. And in short order we'll be in fly-season full throttle so I may be stabling them during the middle of the day to keep them away from the flies. So that is my plan for the day. And now I'm done, but I'm thinking about all of you each and every day. Love to you all.

2008-05-10T12:30:00.001-07:00

Ran out of room for pictures on the last post so here are some more to look at.

2008-05-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

The hills are greener today than yesterday and I can see a soft green haze of new leaves on the tree tops. Even the tiny bushes have fat buds about to burst open. But neither Don nor I have had too much opportunity to gaze out at the landscape because we've been working feverishly to get the kitchen done before Kim and Oliver and Liam arrive. I just don't want them to walk into and have to live in a mess here with us. At last though, it's done (mostly) and we are ready for the unveiling. Try to remember the pictures that we posted here a while back that showed things in disarray and see if it looks any better!

No Garden Today....

2008-05-02T05:59:00.000-07:00

The lawn was beginning to green up, the hillside showed a slight dusting of green poking through the tan matt of last years grasses and close inspection of little shrubs showed tiny buds starting to swell in preparation for their spring awakening. And the larges trees have the first of their crumpled, bundles of new leaves on the verge of opening out and welcoming their new year. I've been digging and edging shrub beds so that when the nurseries finally open, I will be ready!

And then this, May 1st and look at what we've got. At first sight of scattered flakes drifting lazily from the sky, I thought "this too would pass", but nooo, it didn't and the photos show what it looks like at the end of the day in Nova Scotia. Little different I think from BC where folks are marking out rows where the veggies will go in a week or two. I would think that gardening must start here in a serious way, at least three weeks later than the Lower Mainland. Oh well, I'm not going anywhere, I can wait.

What day is today?

2008-04-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy this past week.....painting, ceiling, more painting, panelling, more painting and on and on. But yesterday, taadaa!!! they put our cabinets together and we absolutely love them. There is not a thing that I would change, mind you, I did sit there staring at my old kitchen for long enough that to have made a mistake on planning would have been almost impossible I think. But now we are feeling so burnt out that today it was hard to get started. All I did was cleanup and put away stuff that used to be in the old cupboards and now must be moved into the new. We still have some ceiling to put up, but first the electrician has to come and deal with some lighting issues. And on Tuesday, we're gonna pull out the mitre saw and begin putting up some crown moldings.

Oh and the vinyl floor that I insisted on, that Don had his doubts about no matter how hard I worked to reassure him, has finally met with his approval. I knew it would look fabulous, but he is a nervous nelly sometimes. I was going to put a few pictures on, but Don wants to wait until the crown moldings are done, so sorry. But we will soon be ready for the unveiling, can you be patient?

A week ago we had some lovely weather, 19 degrees. It was fabulous!!! That was the highest temp. so far. Then it cooled, rained a day or two, and today no rain, but a really chilly wind blew for most of the day. But by early evening the wind had died down and the sky was clear so maybe tomorrow will be warmer and sunny. Everyone here says this has been the longest and coldest winter they've had for several years. Lucky us that it happens our first winter eh? Oh well, we survived. After the mess we've had all winter, and the learning curve of dealing with the cold winter, next winter should be a piece of cake. I'm looking forward to more time to spend on my art, and reading and listening to my classical music (if only I could find my case full of CD's).

So now it is time to go upstairs as my pillow is screaming my name and I am more than happy to obey. Toodle-loo for now my dears.

By the way, do you love chubby babies like the one up above. This little charmer was so adorable I just had to share it with you. If I knew who the photographer was I would most certainly give him or her the credit, but can't. Anyway just enjoy.

2008-04-15T05:25:00.001-07:00

Diesel is wandering around the house looking for the best sunny spot in which to bask and soak up the sun. The earth is slowly warming and the buds on some of the bigger trees are beginning to swell as the earths own warmth melts the ice from below. The grass is begining to green the hills here and there. It feels like it has been such a long time since the summer but it is time that has passed quickly because we have been so busy working on the inside of the house. Soon it will be time to move outdoors.

It won't be much longer before I can post some before and after pictures of our kitchen and dining room. Don has always had a fancy for yellow (not my favorite) so when we moved here, I thought I would just let him run with it. I think that lots of my philosophies have changed in the past couple years and the things that were important to me have changed and I've realized too, that the things that were so important, like NOT having my house yellow on the inside (among many other things), really don't matter in the grande scheme of things. But when we put the first coat of yellow on the dining room walls, I began to rethink that particular item. We'd had a coral colored kitchen once that began by being the most horrid pinky-orange but by the second day, the paint had cured to a very acceptable shade of coral so we forged ahead with this original decision to go with the yellow that we'd bought two cans of. And sure enough, by the second day the color was more pleasant to look at. So we're pleased with it and even on an overcast day, it is a joyful room to go into. Soon you'll see the grand unveiling.

Let the sun shine and shine and shine and....

2008-04-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

....especially on the cold days! We now have a solar furnace which is really just a box of pop cans painted black. As you can see by the picture, the "box" is about the size of a door and yes, inside are pop cans. They've been painted black to attract and hold the energy/heat of the sun. In one bottom corner is a cold air intake and fan that goes through the wall into the kitchen. In the opposite corner at the top is another vent that allows the heat the builds up to move into the house. As the temperature in the box reaches a set level, the fan comes on and begins to move the warmed air out and suck in cool air from down by the floor.

At this time of year, because of the direction of the sun, it comes on at 8:00 in the morning and will run until about 2:00 at which time the angle of the sun has changed enough that the furnace no longer receives the sun rays adequately. But by that time, the house is warmed in general by the sun. Considering that we are in Nova Scotia which tends to be a bit cooler because of ocean air surrounding this little province and considering that we get quite a bit of cooling winds from the Bay of Fundy, this should prove to be a terrific idea for our house.

Unfortunately for our house, while we have lots of windows, the bulk of them have been located on the north side of the house which is a disaster as far as taking advantage of the effects of solar heat. This solar furnace is one answer to taking advantage of the sun on the other side, when it isn't doable to install new windows on the side due to that also being the location of the kitchen cabinets. Pretty neat eh?!

...on the point of collapse...

2008-03-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I've been falling down on the job. The job of keeping up our blog so that all of you, our readers and fans, can keep up with the day to day changes going on in the life of the Maritime branch of the family. To tell you the truth, there don't seem to be any changes these days. Not that we aren't working everyday on one thing or another. It's just that, like any reno job, every job only leads to another, to another, to another.... I am so tired of living with ongoing mess and disorder! aagh! it's driving me crazy. Have you ever been doing something, and you get to a point where you just can't do anymore, and at that point you collapse in a heap and don't move again for a month? Well, maybe a month is a bit of an excageration but you get the drift. I feel that way quite regularly lately. But our cupboards are due soon and there's still lots to do. So no collapsing yet. Right now, the big project is putting up a tin ceiling and it looks great. I wasn't sure how it was going to look and when we opened the first box and pulled out a tile, I was worried but now that the kitchen ceiling is covered, I love it. Tomorrow we work on the dining room and then I think the following day will be for painting.

While the weather has been pretty consistently cold, Don and Diesel have decided to wait out the winter on the couch whenever there is no project work going on that is. Diesel keeps Don warm (you've heard of a three dog night, right? well we have one dog nights), and also gives him advice on his investments. As you can see, our little mutt is very involved there. Mind you, Diesel wasn't nearly so relaxed today while we were working on the ceiling. Everytime we looked down from our perch on a ladder or the chair, there he was, looking so sad and pleading, "please come down and pick me up." He is so needy. Good thing we think he's so cute. I think we are both wrapped around his little paw.

I think part of the reason that I haven't been writing anything here too, is that after a day of trying to figure out how to accomplish this or that, decisions, decisions, decisions, I think the creative part of my brain is just plain wrung out, nothing left to offer, done. Oh well, spring is just around the corner, I hope, and then there will be sunshine and flowers and trees to plant, all of which will reinvigorate my old noggin. In the meantime, I'll do the best I can and hope that you will bear with me.
So take care my dears and don't forget, you can post comments here too. This can be a two way street you know. Anyway, love to you all til next time.

So Daddy Fixed the Piano Holly...

2008-03-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that piano, that worked until you put your mitts on it my dear? Well, this morning, your dad, who is so talented I might add, in the field of repairs, etc., decided it was time to unstick that key. Now if he can just remember where everything goes....

Actually, because none of us plays the piano, and you can't give old ones away, we were sort of thinking that we would do something a little more creative with this one and make it into a china cabinet or something. It has such nice ornamentation on it, so daddy managed to get all the pieces undone without resorting to the saw. Don't you think it will make an interesting cabinet? With the addition of a couple shelves and such. I think it will be very cool. (one more project to add to the list!)

The Beauty of Doing Nothing....

2008-03-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

I've been reading another book called "Eat, Pray, Love". It is about a woman who, after a crushing divorce and a failed shall we say, rebound relationship, decides to travel the three I's, that is Italy, India and Indonesia. As a writer, her plan is to write a book chronicling her adventures and experiences. As you may have gathered, she is back from her trip and the book is finished. Else what would I be reading? So right now, I am only in the first part, Italy. The reason that I bring this up, is because, as her reason for being there is to learn the beautiful language of Italy, she peppers the pages with phrases that she loves the sound or meaning of. And when I am reading, I like to jot down phrases or statements that appeal to me and so here is one, "il belle far niente". Now you must, even if you are reading to yourself, imagine that you are repeating it with the most authentic Italian accent that you are able to muster. It doesn't mean that you will be able to decipher the meaning any better, only that you may, for just a moment, leave your life and taste of hers. Anyway, enough of that and I suppose that you are going to begin mumbling at some point, "what the heck does it mean?". Patience grasshopper, patience, for it means, "the fine art of doing nothing".

The fine art of doing nothing. I think the reason that I like it is because it is something that I am learning to do at this stage in my life. I have always been driven to a point. Using my crossed off to do list as proof that I am worth while, that there is a point that I am here, taking up space on this planet. I used to do that all the time, the to-do lists on the backs of envelopes, folded pieces of paper. As I was making the initial list, I often tried to write the projects down in the most practical order of doing, keeping in mind that I didn't want to waste time and as one was being checked off, a new job was added to the end of the list. Then at bedtime, instead of taking stock of the day and giving myself a mental pat on the back for "jobs" well done, I was usually planning what would be on the list for tomorrow. So the fine art of doing nothing was simply not a phrase that had any room in my vocabulary.

But now, I am slowing down and quite honestly, the energy doesn't seem to be there for big, long to-do lists, nor the enthusiasm. Now I am beginning to look around the house and pick one thing that I will tackle at some point during the day, and strangely, that seems to be enough. The year and a half of living in the apartment had a great deal to do with this I think, because, quite honestly, there wasn't enough room to get into projects, so it was sort of a forced learning process for which I think that I am glad. The fine art of doing nothing....

The result is that soon I will have time to make my bread and enjoy the process without feeling like there are other things that I should be attending to at the same time. What seems to happen in those instances is that I walk out of the kitchen after I've mixed up that loaf and it goes completely out of my mind and when that happens....well let me just say that when cooking or baking is left unattended halfway through the process, no one is happy with the outcome!

Speaking of my bread, I finally have worked out a recipes that gives me one loaf that fits perfectly into my little convection oven. Not too big (so that I get two striped burn marks on the top) and not too small (so that your sandwiches would fit into a "Borrowers" lunchbox), just right. Maybe I should call it the Goldilocks loaf.

Anyway, love to you all and I hope that your having lovely days, wherever you are.

When I Was a Little Girl....

2008-03-01T07:48:00.001-08:00

When I was a little girl, a very little girl, the mention of going to Uncle David and Aunt Hilda's house made me so very happy. It was so different there, from where I lived and it was so much more fun. To throw things for Lassie to chase, to go on King or Dolly for a little ride, to poke about among the dust and cobwebs of the barn, to lick the cows salt block, even though we were told not to, such are the things that delight the heart of the child that I was then. In my mind I can hear the sound of the steel door mat, clinking on the cement steps just before you walked into the shadowy, gloom of the entry. There is no clear river of memories that flow through my mind, just snapshots of moments in time. The kitchen table sat under the big windows on the right as you entered from the porch and at the furthest end of it was a china cabinet, one of those old cabinets that had the dark, almost tiger striping of wood grain, and the glass on the front was bowed I think. I don't remember the china within, but it was the place where Uncle David always took his little Borax 20 Mule Team and Wagon from. I remember him putting them out on the table in front of us and we could play gently with them but only for a few minutes. Then he would put them away til next time.

What else do I remember? I remember the cows coming in a line from the fields, time for milking and they knew like they had little Timex's hidden somewhere that no one had ever noticed. In through the door and each stepped into her place. The sound of peaceful cows, munching and shuffling their feet was a gentle music to the soul. Through the cracks in the old barn, the sunlight peeked in and the dust floated like the finest glitter. I remember that one or two cows always had their tails tied up to a string that hung from the rafters over their stall. Ladies that found it a little presumptuous that anyone would manhandle them in such a familiar way, determined to protest with a good smack to the ear when it was least expected. But the tail string solved that problem. And I remember the one cow who didn't need a string. Her name was Stinky, who knows why now, but she had no tail and I remember Aunt Hilda telling me that one winter it had been frozen right off about half way down.

And I remember that as Aunt Hilda or Uncle David pulled up a stool, shiny bucket between their knees, often the barn cats would line up like a little chorus line, waiting, anticipating their moment. A warm, white jet of milk might suddenly come their way. A little messy perhaps, but a good reason later on to indulge themselves in the endless ritual of cleaning that cats are inclined to do and for the moment, a wonderful treat. How much milk actually wound up inside a cat is highly debatable, but the possibility of coming away with only a dirty face didn't seem to stop them from putting in an appearance.

The time with Uncle David was the best times of those years in my life. And while Uncle David held my heart in his big hands, Aunt Hilda was there supporting his hands. These are things that I remember when I was a little girl.

It's snowing - again!

2008-02-28T06:30:00.000-08:00

It's snowing again....how many days yet will that thought cross my mind? Being from the coast of BC, I'm not used to thinking like that. But one good thing about it is, it gives me a good reason to not feel bad about being stuck in the house doing reno work when I would rather be outside in the sunshine, pulling weeds, moving plants, planning the next garden project. It does seem, for today anyway, that to be inside is a much more comfortable place to be.

I thought you might be curious to see how things are going indoors so I've posted some photos here. The first couple are obviously "before" pictures. The dining room and living room have been my workshop for months which means the whole house is full of dust and sawdust. But I'm hoping that 8 weeks from now, the saws will be outside in the barn because it'll all be done in here. You can see how the kitchen looked in mid-demolition of the fake brick wall. And while having the bricks gone lightens things up considerably, the old plaster walls underneath are trashed so we will follow the advice of a B&B owner where we stayed on one of our trips and hide the evidence of too many decades by installing beadboard. And as you can sort of make out be the next couple of pictures (where the beadboard is visible) it does look a lot nicer.

And there I am, doing one of the things that makes me smile. Hammer and nails and level in hand and I am content. Although I will be more content when all of this is done and I'm out in the garden, in the sunshine, pulling weeds,......

Bluegrass - Must be Frozen!

2008-02-24T04:30:00.000-08:00

Last night was so cold but we had been planning a night out so the temperature really didn't matter. Just before we were going to leave, I went out to put Ambra and Sierra in and when I came back to the house, Don suggested that since we only had to go a kilometre, why didn't we walk. It might not have been windy and snowing, but I nixed that idea immediately. Tooooooo darn cold. So we drove the kilometre, parked the car and walked across the street to the Capital Theatre for an evening of bluegrass music by a local band called Mountain Rush.

The theatre, like everything else in Oxford is old and worn, but cared for nonetheless. Teeny, tiny foyer with hardly enough room for more than five people at a time, but I suppose when you barely seat 130 on the lower level and maybe 60 in the balcony, you don't really need a whole lot of room at the front door. The rows of seats are bolted to a wooden floor and their frames reminded me of the wrought iron legs of the old Singer sewing machines. As we sat waiting for the concert to begin, all around us, people who'd probably known each other since birth, chatted and caught each other up on how life was treating them.

The walls and the ceiling were covered with pressed tin panels, fleur-de-lis on the walls and a different pattern on the ceiling. The stage was small and I wondered what kind of acts might have been performed there over the many years that this little building had been standing. I wonder if anyone has ever kept any kind of history? A man in the most embroidered jacket I have ever seen, cruised through the crowd, selling 50/50 tickets. And the gentleman who was the host for the evening chatted generally with the crowd, every so often, mentioning the guy with the wonder jacket. It was so folksy, that it was surreal.

Then two members of the band came on stage, accompanied by a little girl, thirteen years old, and she was the featured singer for the evening and I gotta say, she had quite a voice for a kid. So good! Then the rest of the band joined them, and all in all, we were treated to two hours of bluegrass oldies, and some newies (is that a legitimate word?) I really enjoyed the evening.

When the concert was done, we all grabbed our coats and headed out into the dark night. Cold, cold, cold....but a short ride back to the house and as we got out of the car, we looked up into the black sky and saw the stars twinkling so clear and bright. It was beautiful, and then we hurried into the house to stoke the fire. We had a good day, and the evening was a great capper to it.

2008-02-20T04:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gotten just the perfect haircut? No matter what you do, it always looks great. Ruffle up your hair, scratch your head, go out in the wind - no problemo, it looks great! I love those haircuts. I always wish the hair could just quit growing right there. Not that the cost of getting the haircut is the issue, more that the next one will probably not be as perfect.

Life can be like that, sometimes you just wish nothing would change, it's all too perfect the way it is. But life doesn't stay the same, it moves and flexes, and changes. But maybe that is a good thing. The only way to get to the perfect haircut, is to go through the lousy ones. It's the contrast that makes the perfection visible.

Ice rinks and gardens

2008-02-16T12:37:00.000-08:00

Nova Scotia is one big ice skating rink! That's what happens when you get a night of heavy rain in February and then the next day the temperature goes back down to normal (for this time of year that is). Some yards that I've driven by look like the house is sitting in the middle of a big, glistening, white porcelain plate. Seeing as how this is our first winter here, we're figuring out what needs to be corrected for next winter, but isn't that always the way it goes. In computer lingo, the learning curve!

I've been busy today, scraping old wallpaper border off the living room walls. And I baked bread today, and painted a little shelf that I made for my art room, and washed dishes. Just a day of puttering around the house. After I finish here, I may go and scrape a bit more of the border off. Or maybe not, I'm feeling a wee bit like I want to just quit for the afternoon. Problem is that I have a hard time sitting still and doing nothing.

Maybe I will plan my garden. This is the time of year that you normally do that isn't it? I don't think it will be very big to start, and I can enlarge it if I have a mind to, later in the year. I know that asparagus grows here because I found where a couple spears growing wild up on the hill. So I will definitely have a patch of it. Can you imagine how nice homegrown asparagus would taste. Tender and slightly steamed. Yes, a definite must for my garden. Garden centres abound in BC in the lower mainland, but here they are few and far between. I may be forced to do lots of my garden shopping at Canadian Tire of all places. But I think I will try and hold off on buying a lot of shrubs from them til the end of July because they put all of that on sale at that point. Then I will go crazy and buy, buy, buy. I love shopping for plants! One of my favourite things.