Enveloping, enshrouding and encapsulating....

To arrive at this moment in my life, at this time in the worlds journey seems a curiousity. We humans have all careened through our days and years, on auto pilot, with some vague destination in mind that for far too many of us, turns out to be unreachable. We live in the belief and the hope that some future date will bring us the joy that our spirit seeks and discover repeatedly that it is still somewhere down the road, somewhere on the time-line of life, ahead of us. Our failure is that we don't look to this moment, right now, for that fulfillment. We neglect to stop and experience what is. To let it roll around us, bump up against our legs, rising higher and higher, enveloping, enshrouding, encapsulating us until we are forced to inhale it in, so that we are filled and covered with the now, part of - what is. This moment, right now.

Over the years I've enjoyed writing letters to various members of my family, letters to the editor upon occasion, and of late, writing posts on various forums that have held an interest for me. My appreciation of the written word when I was a child, bordered on obsession. And from time to time, I've entertained the occasional impulse to write my memoirs, such as they are, and I tell myself, for the sake of my children. So that they will know who I am. But, and doesn't there seem to be a "but" far too often, of late, I've come to a new realization that as humans, we are all compulsive thinkers and that we have reduced and limited our lives to words and thoughts which are really only more words, just rearranged differently to accomodate the newest mood that we find ourselves in. We live in the past, which doesn't exist any more and base all of our hoped for tomorrows on it.

Too often, thoughts moving at a hundred miles per minute, we forget to just "be" in this moment, to be in the now..........................can you feel your heart beating and when did you last sit and just experience it doing what it does each and every moment of the years that you have alloted to you? When was the last time you sat, with no tv on, no music, no one talking, and gave your mind a rest? Turned the "thinking machine" to off. When was the last time you tried to just sit and "be"? In that quietness lies a link to the divine, in that silence lies the link to the peace, if only for the briefest of moments, to the peace that your spirit craves. In that moment,.............but only til the words begin again.

There will be no memoirs because they are only words and are not the real me. I am not words, my past no longer exists and my future is only a fantasy and I only exist in this moment, right now. We each have a single opportunity to experience each other in this briefest of instances. Let's not obscure what there is to know with a muddle of sounds and labels and old stories that only tell what kind of image we each see and want the world to see. Instead, feel this moment, the two of us, as it bumps up against our legs, rises higher and higher......

Still Renovating and renovating and renovating....

Will it ever end? Considering that I have a to-do-list with about ten items on it (and I'm sensible enough not to discourage myself by including absolutely everything), I think the answer to the question is "no, it will never end". The latest project is screening in the side porch. And so to that end, we had to start out by putting rails on it. Now I gotta tell you that Don loves his nail gun but it makes me nervous even though I appreciate the ease and convenience of using it. So he's happily nailing rails on and all of a sudden, no more nailing and he's dancing around holding on to his finger. I dropped what I was doing and looked over his clenched hands and sure enough, he's done it! Nailed his finger. Fortunately only his finger! "I'll turn off the coffee pot and then I gotta put the horses back in the paddock" and Don said he would clean up the tools.

Now normally, the compressor is heavy and cumbersome enough to need two hands to lug it out but, and I did not see this myself, Don grabbed that baby up with one hand and hustled it into the garage with hardly a backward look. By the time I got back from the barn, the tools were tidied up, the garage door closed and locked and Don was sitting in the car. And off to the hospital we went. What a day! Put an end to the porch work for a few days, but the nail didn't go through the bone, just slipped underneath it and so it wasn't long before we were back at it. Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of the nail and the finger, but you do get to see how nice the porch is looking so far. Next week I hope to be putting the screen on and then old fashioned screen door and then I can cross one item off the to do list. And that will leave how many? Hmmm, was that nine, or ten or....

Hum a little tune while we wait for the sun.....

A few weeks ago I happened to look out the windows that overlook the backyard and was amazed to see a mob of robins. I lost count at 25 plus because of the constant movement and business of these messengers of spring made it hard to keep up. So the birds have declared that spring is here, now if only the weather would catch up. An occasional warm day, but then several chilly ones, rain too. But it will come, and then we'll all be happy.

And as the robins are here, I'm sure that the little hummingbirds will be back if they are not already. Where did I put my hummingbird feeders? I will have to search the cupboards and get them out there pretty quick. We had a couple of hanging baskets last year too and we'll repeat that and in a couple years my trellis will be covered with honeysuckle and then it will be like a smorgasborg for hummers.

Oh dear, the rain has started again, but I still have faith that the sun isn't far behind.

Stanley Street, After....

So I thought you might like to see our little project that has been taking ages (or so it seems) to complete. The first pictures here are obviously the "after" pictures and if you continue on, you'll get to see what we began with. The house is about 75 years old and the lady who lived there previously was elderly and not well, so for decades nothing was done to it. So we insulated, some plumbing, new windows and siding and lots of paint and elbow grease among other things. So there you have it.

More Stanley Street, After....

So now you've seen what can be done with a little imagination, a lot of elbow grease and a couple bucks (or three or....). and the next are the icky "before" pictures.

Stanley Street in the beginning.

We've been busy, soooo busy in these last couple of weeks! But now a respite from it all. What did you think of the little house. As you can see by these photos, it was a real wreck. But we had enough imagination to see what it could be and so here it is.

Little Dogs, woodland walks and the end of winter...

The snow is almost gone, little patches only left in the shadows of the trees, but soon even that will be gone. And the ice slowly disappearing from the soil. I've been moving a few things around as the soil has softened, made my plans for the garden and now just wait. When will my little broccoli's go out, my asparagus germinate and when will the sun shine? So many questions, and only time holds the answers. Patience grasshopper.....

We did go for a walk up a little dirt road that is used mainly by ATV traffic in the summer and snow mobiles in the winter. Some parts were a bit soft but dry enough to walk on until we came to a huge stretch of snow and mud. At that point we turned back but through it all, Max had the most wonderful time. He is the perfect dog to take on a walk. He'll run up ahead about forty feet, but is always tuned in to our whereabouts and returns immediately when called. We always keep an eye on the sky though when we go out with him, looking for eagles. What a horror that would be! If we spot one soaring high overhead, he gets scooped up immediately and then we have to listen to him crying to be put back down because he loves to run. But we love him more, enough to put up with the whining. As for Diesel, we're on the lookout for a sort of baby-sling but doggy sized so that we can take him out too. I know he isn't old or infirm but I'm telling you, he is so darn slow you would think he was both! A walk that should take half an hour normally, takes 45 minutes or more and the whole time he is hanging at the end of the leash behind you, so that it looks like you are dragging him down the street. And heaven forbid you take him onto ground rougher than the sidewalk because at the first bunch of grass or branch across the path, he is stuck like he has no idea how to deal with the difficulty. In the meantime, Max is jumping over it all like a little jack rabbit. As a matter of fact, that picture that Diesel is in, illustrates the maximum level of effort that he willingly puts out but only sometimes, maybe once a week. Notice that the activity takes place on the couch. That way if he is hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion, he can safely and comfortably collapse where he stands. So it's either a carrier of some sort for Diesel, or he'll get left home while Max gets out and we would just feel too bad. I think we're the stereotypical old people and their little spoiled dogs! How humiliating! Oh well, no excuses, we just love'em.