They'll Never See an Auction!

Five years ago I drove past the auction in Langley. As I passed, I noticed the portable "billboard" sign out front gave an upcoming date for a horse auction. I'd stopped in at the auction once long before that day, out of curiousity. The small dirty wire cages, filled with frightened chickens, ducks and rabbits were stacked up just inside the entrance and beyond them, the pens with the animals. I had walked through rather quickly, and for just a moment, had poked my head in the door of the room where the auction ring was. Rising up steeply against the back wall were the bleachers where people sat, watching to see if any animal came in that might be of use to them. The smoke from numerous cigarettes made the air hazy and I left without going in. And now, as I passed that sign, I imagined if Sierra and Ambra were standing, shivering in terror in one of those pens and the tears welled up in my eyes and I think in that moment I decided that my girls would never see a place like that.

So now Kim and Holly are long gone, no little girls to ride the horses we bought for them and Ambra and Sierra are getting older. Next March they will be 20 years old and we're on the downhill run. My dream for our retirement was that they would have green grass so graze on, a peaceful life and a peaceful death. I think I do this for me, for them and for the horses who will spend their last days in terror and pain. The US has banned horse slaughter and now all those horses that are born to spend their childhood on race tracks and in PMU farms and those who are born because unthinking and uncaring people want to have a baby running in the pasture or who are hoping for the next champion, will be shipped in overcrowded stock trucks, when they are of no more use. They will not be fed or watered on that trip, they will be injured and receive no care and when they arrive in Alberta or in Mexico, they will be brutalized. In Canada, they will be hit repeatedly by bolt guns and in Mexico, they will be stabbed in the neck, over and over again in search of their spinal cord. My girls will never see an auction. I will not sell them to someone else because I'm too old to care for them, because someone might send them to auction and I will not do that to them.

In making this decision, I've given up some things. I left the place I've lived for most of my life, I've left some of my family behind.....but I've gained too. I have peace of mind because I haven't tossed aside these animals that have come to trust me. I've taken a stand against animal abuse and live my life according to that stand and that gives me peace of mind too. When we live our lives according to our beliefs we become stronger.

Where this blog began as a way to keep family apprised on our comings and goings in the place we now live, so far from home, from this point on, you may notice a change. I hope that you will come on this journey with me and I hope that it will give you food for thought. The greatest thing that humanity can do for itself is to keep an open mind because that is the only way we learn and grow. So having said that, I leave you now, til next time.....

Peace and love,
Debby

25 Things to do Each Day!

The urgency of the to do list fades a little each day. Where once there were any number of jobs "on" the list, there were also any number of jobs waiting to be added. But retirement seems to be setting in and I'm having more days when I feel perfectly comfortable just sitting on the porch, listening to the crickets and watching Diesel and Max sleep in the sunny spots. But Holly sent me something that she came across in her journeys on the internet and I just had to share them. These should be the first 25 items on anyones to-do list, and if you feel inclined to add unclogging the kitchen sink then welcome to it. But first and foremost:


1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God (or to your higher power or meditate) about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
' My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ '

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in factories.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries,
broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life is not fair, but it is still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don ' t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it will not spoil the present.

14. Don ' t compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ' In five
years, will this matter? '

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD (depending on your beliefs) heals everything - but you have to ask Him (translate to your religion).

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night, before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings.
You will be smiling before you know it.

34 Years and Counting

Today is the fifteenth of August which means that Don and I have been married for 34 years and 11 days! The countdown for the next 34 years has begun. Just think, in only a couple years I'll be sleeping with an OLD MAN! There was a time when the mere thought would have inspired a series of shudders followed by a snort and a "not on my watch". But here we are 34 years later and I've resigned myself to the senior citizen (soon) bed partner and I can only hope that Don will extend me the same consideration when my day comes. Time marches on and on and on and......

For our anniversary we loaded the kayaks and went up to Cariboo River which is just this side of Pictou. Quiet and pretty area but, unfortunately, we left all four cameras in the car so we have no photos of the day! And the pictures we missed! Coming around one bend in the river, protected from the light breeze, the water was like a mirror. I looked over at Don in his kayak and if I'd taken a picture, I could turn it upside down and you would never be able to tell which way was right side up because there wasn't a ripple to give away the truth. We also took Diesel and Max and they have little lifejackets which keeps them safe. The best position for them we found, was sitting right on the top and just ahead of the cockpit. They just kind of laid down there and watched the river banks go by, the eagles overhead and the kingfishers diving. It was so much fun and so incredibly peaceful too. I just wish we had photos and all I can say is next time. For sure.

I think that for all the hours that we've spent together, and there have been many having had our own business that we ran out of our home, we've done pretty good. We still love each other and as importantly, we like each others company more than anyone elses. We know when to give each other space, and we know when to give in to each other. And we know when stamping a foot is likely to get us what we want. All in all, it's been a pretty good 34 years and having said that, let the counting continue.......!

Fear is only a memory...

What is fear? - how does it come? Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday's pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear...... Thought is the response of memory. - Taken from Beyond Violence by J. Krishnamurti

So fear is brought about by thought and my thoughts, as are all thoughts, are the result of memories. The unfortunate thing in this instance, is that I love working in my garden, moving plants from here to there in a never ending pursuit of the perfect "look", sort of like rearranging the furniture, only outside. And while I have never been afraid of getting my hands dirty, there is one thing and one thing alone, that can strike fear, nay, terror into my heart.....can make my heart pound, my ears ring and send me from one side of the yard to the other in less time than it takes for Don to say "let's have pie". Did you notice in the middle of the symphony of colorful garden shots the source of my fear? Laying quietly, waiting for me, so that it can wiggle just a little so that it can then settle back and watch the show that I put on as I spot it and then sprint out of its deadly range? I'm sure they sit and laugh, absolutely positive they do and not only they, but if anyone was going by just at that moment would also.

My sister Wendy and I had the opportunity during several summers to visit at Uncle Harvey and Aunt Sarah's. It was on one of those visits that the incident, which caused the memory, which causes the thought, which has caused the fear ever since, first occurred. I can remember it as though it was yesterday. As I stood in the dooryard, with Uncle Harvey's truck on one side of me, paying as little attention as most children do when lost in their daydreams, Wendy approached from around the other side of the pickup. Hearing her, I turned and as I did, she handed me a carton, said "hold this for a minute" and then walked away. As I stood there with the carton in my hands I glanced over to where she was moving away, and as I did so, there was a slight tremble in the carton and then several garter snakes, pushed through the slightly folded down top and hung down across my hands for a moment before dropping to the ground. Thus it began, my memory, my fear.

As an ethical vegan, there is no way I would ever go on a rampage, bent on wreaking havoc and destruction in the snake world. Just wouldn't happen, but at the same time, no matter how much I reason with myself and explain how these little (to me they look huge!) snakes are so necessary in the ecosystem, I just can't stay in the same fifty foot radius as them. Last night I replaced a big rock that had gotten dislodged on the culvert at the driveway and today as we mowed around the culvert, we disturbed TWO ENORMOUS snakes! If I had discovered them last night as I was replacing the rock, well I just would'nt be here to type this post today. I would have had a heart attack, that would have been the end of me.

Practical jokes can be funny sometimes, but they can also be the beginning of something that never ends. We are in the country, there are snakes around and I will just have to be careful when I garden. But when the day comes, that we cannot care for this large property and make the transition to an apartment (or an old folks home), there is one thing that I will NOT miss. Can you guess what it is?

"Don't Tip the Boat!"

I am too lazy to look back at all my posts here, but I am almost positive that I had mentioned in one, that I was going to quit giving in to the habit of feeling blue or something to that effect but you know how it goes with New Years resolutions and old habits. One is so hard to keep and the other so hard to "not keep" doing and wouldn't you know it, I've once again found myself in that dreadful rut. The good thing is that I've finally become aware of it and that is the first step to moving away from it (once again!). Mind you, we've had so much rain that maybe the grey skies have also had something to do with the blahhs. Oh well, someday the sun will return, both within and "without" if you know what I mean.

On a lighter note, we recently got a couple of kayaks as I may have mentioned, and last weekend, we went to a safety workshop. We learned how to get into our kayaks, both while just at the shore and in the event that we ever get tipped out. There were about ten people in the class, and with the instructor Bob in the water, we each had to tip ourselves out of the kayak and then he showed us how to get the water out, get back in, and then remove the rest of the water. It was hard to over-ride the natural instinct to "not tip the boat", but once I was in the water, it wasn't scary at all. I can't say that I was the most graceful at getting back in (but on the other hand, I also wasn't the most grace-less!) and once you know how, it's actually pretty simple. The body of water that we were on lies between New Glasgow and Pictou and the day that we were there was smooth as glass and amazingly warm.

Don is taking some photos for Bob to use on his website for advertising so we are going to go back when he has his new shipments of boats in and on that day we'll take ours and then after the photo session is done, we will put them in the water and cruise the coastline there for a couple hours. It's really very pretty and I'm looking forward to it. Anyhow, enjoy the photos of the workshop.

Can you just look?

Salad bowl in front of me, clean vegetables strewn across the counter, I happened to glance up from what I was doing and saw the big tree on the other side of the driveway and noticed that its branches were bent as it bowed before the blustering wind, and the bottoms of the leaves made it seem as though the tree was a paler shade of green. The rain blew against those branches, blew against those leaves and they glistened as they tossed and thrashed. My hands paused at what they were doing as I stood quietly, motionless, and made a conscious effort to look, to see, but not to label or allow names or descriptions of what I looked at, to come into my mind. And all around the edges of my consciousness it was as though those words that describe what we look at tried to slip themselves in through the cracks, to force me to allow them, to consider them.

Later on, when I called Don in to come and eat, I told him about my little experiment. I said to him, "it is a very hard thing to look at something without getting involved in a conversation with yourself about that which you see". To just look and not think about how big it is, how many small branches are bending in the wind, what color, what texture......to just look at it. And his response was priceless. He looked for a couple minutes to test my theory, and then he said "not if you are a man". And I laughed, and was reminded of a comedian that I watched once. He said to all the ladies in his audience, "girls, next time you ask your boyfriends what they are thinking about.....and they say "oh nothing"........believe them.

Enjoy your day, and don't forget to look.....just look.

Enveloping, enshrouding and encapsulating....

To arrive at this moment in my life, at this time in the worlds journey seems a curiousity. We humans have all careened through our days and years, on auto pilot, with some vague destination in mind that for far too many of us, turns out to be unreachable. We live in the belief and the hope that some future date will bring us the joy that our spirit seeks and discover repeatedly that it is still somewhere down the road, somewhere on the time-line of life, ahead of us. Our failure is that we don't look to this moment, right now, for that fulfillment. We neglect to stop and experience what is. To let it roll around us, bump up against our legs, rising higher and higher, enveloping, enshrouding, encapsulating us until we are forced to inhale it in, so that we are filled and covered with the now, part of - what is. This moment, right now.

Over the years I've enjoyed writing letters to various members of my family, letters to the editor upon occasion, and of late, writing posts on various forums that have held an interest for me. My appreciation of the written word when I was a child, bordered on obsession. And from time to time, I've entertained the occasional impulse to write my memoirs, such as they are, and I tell myself, for the sake of my children. So that they will know who I am. But, and doesn't there seem to be a "but" far too often, of late, I've come to a new realization that as humans, we are all compulsive thinkers and that we have reduced and limited our lives to words and thoughts which are really only more words, just rearranged differently to accomodate the newest mood that we find ourselves in. We live in the past, which doesn't exist any more and base all of our hoped for tomorrows on it.

Too often, thoughts moving at a hundred miles per minute, we forget to just "be" in this moment, to be in the now..........................can you feel your heart beating and when did you last sit and just experience it doing what it does each and every moment of the years that you have alloted to you? When was the last time you sat, with no tv on, no music, no one talking, and gave your mind a rest? Turned the "thinking machine" to off. When was the last time you tried to just sit and "be"? In that quietness lies a link to the divine, in that silence lies the link to the peace, if only for the briefest of moments, to the peace that your spirit craves. In that moment,.............but only til the words begin again.

There will be no memoirs because they are only words and are not the real me. I am not words, my past no longer exists and my future is only a fantasy and I only exist in this moment, right now. We each have a single opportunity to experience each other in this briefest of instances. Let's not obscure what there is to know with a muddle of sounds and labels and old stories that only tell what kind of image we each see and want the world to see. Instead, feel this moment, the two of us, as it bumps up against our legs, rises higher and higher......