It is what it is.....

Well, well, well and hello there to whomever chooses to spend a moment here. I'm feeling very peaceful today, and while the tremendous cold outside and the lovely warm fire inside might have something to do with the feeling of coziness and safety that I'm enjoying at the moment, the peacefulness comes from somewhere else, somewhere in my heart, somewhere in my mind.

For many years, in fact so many that I can't even say when it began, I've struggled with an inner sadness and fearfulness. When Don would say to me "oh don't worry", "you worry too much", I usually would counter with something like "somebody has to because you aren't!". Very astute wouldn't you say? And I would worry about things that "might" happen ten years down the road. I like to plan ahead you see. And of course, that worrying was generally accompanied by sadness. But in my defence, who wouldn't be sad, when confronted with the surety that everything you found important or worthy, was doomed to disappear in ten years! There were other things too that I worried about, other sadness that came and went, mostly came (and stayed).

I think that it was Shakespeare who once said "that all life's a stage" and we are only actors upon it. And now I am confronting the role that I've been playing on this stage of life and I feel like I could have, should have, done so much better. It has been a little role, only a bit part, but I've studied it and perfected it and it has become me to the point where my family have come to know only that character, the sad and worried standby. It has become me, and as I look back over the years, where we once were, the various difficulties that arose and then were passed by, the momentous events of our lives that I allowed the tough moments to overshadow, I am only regretful that the gold was buried as I sat mournefully contemplating the grief that I chose to wallow in.

So I'm here to say, that this day I've chosen to put away that sad role that I've been typecast into. It is no more, and the one that I am going to work on, and study and perfect, is that of the peaceful woman, who understands and accepts that life "is what it is" and regardless of what the situation might be, that "this too will pass". If it is a tough time in life, it won't last forever, and if it is a joyous day, week, or even only a moment, it too will pass, and so I should enjoy it and appreciate it while I can.