My how we've changed...

Don didn't sleep well last night, so he got up at 3:00 AM and got the fire going again while he read for a couple hours before coming back to bed. When I woke up in the morning, the family room was still warm, and embers glowed brightly in the stove. I made a cup of tea, turned on a music station on the television, put on my glasses and began to read. I've been totally engrossed lately in a book called "Conversations With God" and find that spending some time in it at the beginning of my day lifts my soul and puts me in the right frame of mind.

Later Don came down and together we had our first cup of coffee. As we sat together, he with his computer, me with my book, and the music playing softly in the background the thought came to me that we have changed incredibly from the time when we were in our twenties. Back then, we would not have been up at 7:30 in the morning on the weekend. We would not have been listening to quiet, peaceful music. We would not have been drinking coffee until we'd had our dose of Alkaseltzer for the queasy stomach that usually came after the night before. My how we've changed!

No Pictures today, they would be too awful...

Little Lucy lays on the couch beside me. She is tucked under a little blanket to maintain her body temperature. She is still taking water, but hasn't eaten much in the past three days. A slice of cheese yesterday I think, but not much more. She is still bright eyed, but I think that she has had a couple mini strokes in that time and only checks periodically to see where we are before laying her little head back down. Today her breathing is easier which is good, because watching her gasp and pant for air is hard.

Something Kim and I talked about a couple weeks ago, compelled me to take a peek at the Peta websites. What I discovered there, of conditions that animals suffer and die from horrified me and broke my heart. To think that people who believe that they are a superior species, also feel that they have no moral responsibility to be considerate to the animals that are in their charge. Instead, they are brutalised in ways that I never imagined. It is always nice to be able to pat yourself on the back and say that "at least Canadians are different, we wouldn't treat animals the way the Chinese do". Unfortunately, Canada's claim to fame is the seal hunt and fois gras production. Did you know that at least eight other countries have banned fois gras production because it is so cruel?

So now, as I watch Lucy get ready to leave, I am not sitting here in tears day after day. I am comforted and yes, even cheered by the knowledge that after almost 18 years with us, during which time we loved her and admired her and yes, spoiled her, her end will happen in comfort and peacefulness. I'm sure that when the final sigh comes and she is gone, I will cry, but the tears will also be for all the rest that weren't as lucky as her.

Tractor practise!

Time to clear the driveway. Don is nervous about doing it in front of the neighbour across the street though. He's an old hand with a tractor and snow clearing and Don is not . Learning curves are fodder for community gossip, at least that is what Don's worried about. Oh well, no point in worrying about that because the snow must be moved, or we'll be staying home for the winter.

The interesting thing is that after he is finished, I am surprised to see piles of snow, with black spots in it. Hmmm. I can hardly wait til spring to see what kind of shape our lawn is in due to "the learning curve".

Winter, winter everywhere...and life goes on.

I lay in the dark of the early morning hours, trying to go back to sleep. Outside the air hummed as the wind strummed the tops of the trees, punctuated every so often with a huge gust, that once upon a time, likely would have found its way into the cavernous, uninsulated walls of the old house, but now could only buffet them in frustration. I imagined that when we got up in a few hours, there would be a new drifts piled up against the buildings, and the trees would be invisible behind the curtain of snow that surely was blowing across the fields. Finally I fell asleep again.

When we awoke later, the sun was shining, and the wind still howled, but hadn't brought any new snow. Strangely though, when I went out to the barn, it felt much warmer than when I'd put Ambra and Sierra in their stalls the previous evening. The gusts of wind were colder and so I decided to keep them in their stalls for the day. Easier to keep the weight on them when they're not fighting to stay warm. Ambra just stands there patiently in the stall, on swollen, puffy legs. She needs to walk and no amount of bedding keeps the swelling down. Sierra on the other hand, would pace in her stall if it was big enough to pace in. She gets quite anxious being locked up like this. A flake of hay settles her nerves.

Love Propels

For the past few years, as we have been planning our retirement, one of the things that was important to me was that we find a place where Ambra and Sierra can happily end their days, and when that time is come, that they be buried there. To never live the "Black Beauty" story, to never face the fear of the auction yard....and here in Oxford, we have found that place. The choices that Don and I have made have been the fulfillment of that particular desire. My animals are important to me. We had a little budgie named Oliver. The first time I ever saw him was as a pin-feathery chick, still about two weeks away from being able to come home with us. We had him in our family for eleven years and he charmed us endlessly. He learned a few words, and he loved to be out and about. He enjoyed marching around the table when we were eating our dinner, and sampling the food on our plate. That's not too bad unless of course he decided that he preferred taste testing from the middle of a pile of spaghetti which was one of his all time favourite foods. There came a day when we knew that he would leave us any moment, and for that day, my life was on hold. I sat with him cradled in a a soft cloth, held in my hands. The hours passed, my tears flowed and then one tiny last breath and it was over. We didn't bury him, but instead cremated him, to free his little birdie soul to the air forever. So my animals are important to me and I believe that the choices that we make with regards to not only our own lives but to the lives of the creatures that are dependent on us, make obvious to others, the kind of person that we are.

A thing that has come of our moving to Oxford, that we didn't expect at all is meeting a nice couple named Bob and Sue. I may have mentioned them previously, but just in case, to recap, he is retired, was born into the gypsy way of life (a Traveller as they refer to themselves) and she is a guard at the penitentiary here. Bob loaned me a book that he had enjoyed called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. I enjoyed it so much, that I purchased my own copy and I've read it and reread it and will read it again. The portion that I read this morning made me think of Kim and Oliver and their little Liam. New parents with such an important job ahead of them. I thought that for all those parents out there who might be reading this blog, that I would share a bit here.

{So now, as parents, spouses, and loved ones, seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather a magnet that first attracts, then turns around and repels, lest those who are attracted begin to believe they must stick to you to survive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be more damaging to another.
Let your love propel your beloveds into the world - and into the full experience of who they are. In this will you have truly loved.}

Isn't that fabulous! Too often, we want to hold our beloved hostage to our own neediness, or as mom's and dad's, we ache when our children struggle in life and want to jump in there and fix the situation for them. But I think that it is far more profitable for them if they know that whatever their decisions, whatever the results, we will be a safe harbour when their emotions are raw and they need sympathy or understanding, or someone to talk to.

Tribute

I heard today that Aunt Frieda died. So I offer a rose for a lady who will forever, in my memory, have a smile and a little chuckle on her lips as she busies herself in the kitchen of the little house in Didsbury where I knew her, and Uncle Andy, Luella, Les and Delbert. I will remember her kindness and always be grateful that for a while in my life, I had the opportunity to know her. My deepest condolences to her children and to her husband as they adjust to the newly empty place in their lives.

I think that we all go through life, wanting to make our mark, to leave behind a legacy. For some people, it is a change in world policy, to others it is a monolithic bridge, or a sculpture of unparalleled beauty. For some, it is words put down and published for the world to read long after they are gone, while for the vast majority it is a family that is strong and close and one that will have future generations to carry on the family name. We, Don and I, are close to our daughters, and our love deepens year by year. They have brought husbands into this circle and lately a little grandson and so the bounds of our love has expanded. But they are daughters so the name, from us, has ended. Only the example of love that we've shared can go on from this point. I am so glad that as I look back on our lives as a family, that we have no guilt over how we raised our children, how we loved them, guided them into adulthood....

To be remembered well by those who knew us, when we die, really is far more important than all the bridges, or all the beautiful sculptures in the world. What better legacy truly?

Now We're Really Hiding From the Winter Wind!!

Yesterday, standing at the window and looking out at blue skies and pretty snowy fields, Don and I were chuckling at the pictures of Vancouver's snowy/rainy weather, with city workers trying to clear street drains. Remembering the folks that had exclaimed over the "Nova Scotia" weather, oh my what you are getting yourselves into!!! Well, today we are truly getting a taste of it. The wind is howling outside, seeking places to poke it's hard, icy fingers into the warmth of the cocoon with which we've surrounded ourselves. The woodstove struggles to keep up, barely. And Ambra and Sierra are still in their stalls where in all likelihood, they will stay for the day.

But I went grocery shopping yesterday, there is firewood in the basement and hay in the barn. What more could we ask for?

Hiding Inside From Winter Winds

When it has snowed in the night you know it, even before you get out of bed. It is just different. The light is more subdued, sounds seem further away...so before I even came down the stairs, I knew there would be a carpet of white covering the yard, our fields, the forest. The tall grasses along the stream waved stiffly in the wind that gusted from time to time, dry and golden in contrast to the white crystal blanket that tucked in close to them.

We left a big fire going last night when we went to bed and so this morning the family room is not icy, so I made a fire first thing, before even starting the coffee. This time I was lucky and got it going first try. The dogs come next, bathroom break, then their breakfast and while Diesel is making all sorts of little pig noises behind me there, I put the coffee on.

Finally I can sit down across from the window in the family room. Tthe fire is crackling briskly now, and my mug of coffee sits on the table in front of me, steam rising gently in the warming air. Diesel and Lucy are on the couch beside me, still licking the taste of their breakfast off their lips. Even though I know that in a little while I am going to have to put on a couple sweaters and a vest, and a scarf and a jacket, etc., before I head out to take Ambra and Sierra out of their stalls for breakfast in the shelter, I am still glad for being in this place. My horsey girls have grassy fields to wander in until they die, a dry stall to sleep in when the rain is falling or the wind howling, and we have our wonderful woods to walk in.

After breakfast, Don and I did go for a walk in the woods. The sky was clearing and I wanted to see our woods with its winter dress on. We followed one of the trails that I had made in the summer. I had started the trail from the furthest corner of our woods and worked my way back to our little "roadway", and if I follow it from that direction, I can find it every time, but if like today, we try and follow it from the other direction, I get to a certain spot and then lose it every time. So we wandered a little bit and then as the wind was picking up, decided it was a good time to head back to the house.

And now as I sit writing here, the winter wind has picked up and every so often a gust tries mightily to squeeze through the edges of the door. But I can hear my fire still crackling briskly in the stove, so the wind can shriek and moan all it wants because we're warm and cozy.

One Project Finished - Finally!

Before and after, pictures can be so encouraging when you are looking at a to-do list that seems endless even before you add the next project to it. So the outside of our house is done and it looks great. We are so pleased with our choice of color for the siding. So many people go with a light blue color if they even choose blue, but we decided to just go for the gusto and we love it. The white trim just pops against the dark blue. Now I really can't wait til spring so that I can get busy with doing the landscaping. It will look wonderful. I was thinking too of a couple of Adirondack style lawn chairs for the entry porch, painted bright yellow and a rich red. Maybe something painted a little decoratively but I suppose that when the chairs are here in front of me it will be easier to decide. Especially if the sun is shining and it is warm and the grass is green. I'll feel more in the right mood then.

Last night was minus 10, but this morning it is warm, don't know how warm, but warm enough to just quickly throw on a single jacket, slip into my boots and run out with the camera. Last night when I went to the barn at about 11:00, I had on at least four layers, and a hat. The moon was full and sky clear, so it was a surreal landscape. The horses walking over to where I was throwing down some hay made a hollow sound on the frozen earth. Very cool! (in more ways than one).

So today the sun is shining, and we've got things to do, so have a lovely day and I will be back.

This Retirement is Gonna Kill Us!

People go through life with a dream in their hearts....to leave the rat-race, to slow down, sit on the porch in the sunshine, or watching their fishing rod on some sunny river bank, or a million other utopia's in mind. I remember way back when we had those kind of fantasies. So far, the only part that has come true is that we no longer live in downtown Langley and I don't have to drive to where my horses are. But the slowing down part or the riverbank on a sunny day, well, hasn't happened yet. But we're not complaining. In fact, every morning I get up and I literally marvel at having had another sound nights sleep where I haven't wound up watching tv in the wee hours of the morning because one more time, I was awake at 3:00 AM. I used to do that at least five nights a week for several years. Don would go to bed with me and wake up by himself. But here I sleep, all the way through from 11:00 to 7:00. Don sleeps as well too. I think that we had begun to accept the fact that for the rest of our lives, until we die, we would never again feel rested. So this is literally quite an amazing change to us.

And what could possibly be keeping us so busy you might be wondering. Well, let me think....hmmm, maybe it is all the changes that we decided to do on our house, most of which are not done yet (except David did just finish the siding yesterday), or maybe it is the landscaping that we started when I went crazy just after moving here and finding that the nursery had a 50% off sale on all their plant stock (I was like a kid in a candy store that day!), or maybe it is the old run-down house that we bought that needs a complete overhaul, or maybeeeee, it is the duplex that we bought that had one tenant move out the day before the deal closed and so we figured we might do a bunch of things to it while it was empty. And not to forget the horse shelter that not only did I have to build once, but yahoo, as if I am not busy enough, I had to build again because the remains of the hurricane decided to bless us with a "Welcome to Nova Scotia" blast and re-position it On Its Roof! So yes, we are busy, but we're happy and we're enjoying ourselves even though some parts of the dream are a little different than we had initially envisioned, but in our old age we are learning to be flexible - well maybe not physically, cause there are definitely moments when we feel anything but flexible which is why Ibuprofen is becoming more like a food group lately, but at least mentally.

Personally, I think that it's all good. I spent a year and a half in an apartment, and I felt myself age there. The years laid themselves upon me, and without this move, next stop could only be a box in a hole and the time til then would only be one tedious day after another. But yesterday, as I sat there on the roof of the horse shelter, and I took a moment between roofing screws, I looked around me and one more time I marvelled at the peace and quiet and the loveliness of the dark blue sky and the setting sun as it lit up the white trunks of the birch's in the forest around us and the red fields of blueberries off towards
the east and I was overcome with the sense of contentment that we have settled into here. Yes indeed, it is definitely all good!

Old Friends...

The warm water ran across her little furry back, plastering the hair against her skin and exposing the truth of her aging frame. Where once she had weighed in at a respectable 4.5 pounds, the evidence of her current 2.5 pounds was obvious. Her little backbone stuck out, each vertebrae visible. Little Lucy, how many years have we loved you, how many years are left? I think that to count the years would be foolish, more likely only months.

She was so beautiful in her puppy years, bright eyes looking at us with love and excitement. Now she looks at us but does not see our faces, or our hands as they approach to stroke her soft fur. Our touch is always a surprise to her, so we talk and let her know that we are coming, that she might be spared the fright of the unexpected. Her little feet seem to hardly touch the ground so lightly does she tread but her balance often fails and she drifts to this side or that, catching herself before she falls.

She lies at my side as I write, rolled in a soft towel to stop her shivering. The bath was much needed, but even using the hairdryer does not dry her enough to prevent her shaking uncontrollably afterwards.

Maple Syrup!!!

Pancakes (which I despise by the way), absolutely demand maple syrup. Am I right or am I right? Waffles also demand syrup. But did you know that stir fry is also very good with maple syrup, as is fennel slaw and salad dressing. It is a most convenient flavoring. When I make the stir fry for example, I will mix the syrup with some soy sauce, a little olive oil and occasionally with a bit of mustard and I like to also saute some finally chopped ginger root with the vegetables.. If you shake this mixture up in a little bottle just before you are going to serve your stir fry, and mix it thoroughly to warm it, it tastes just lovely.
And when you use it to flavor salad dressings, you omit the soya sauce and instead use a raspberry vinegar or for a slaw you would use lemon juice.

And while I am thinking of it, did you also know that a table spoon of finally shredded coconut added to your egg mixture can make your french toast taste marvelous, particularly when you top it with- - - you guessed it, Maple Syrup!

And one more hint that I just have to mention for all of you who are reading this because it is too good a secret to not share. I think that everyone has had a pair of shoes that drive you crazy with the squeaking. Do you remember the feeling that everyone was watching you as you squeaked your way through the store and how disgruntled you felt when you thought about the money that you had spent on those new shoes that you probably wouldn't wear again. Well here it is, the cure for squeaky shoes. Take a dryer sheet (the kind that you soften your clothes with) and rub it all over the sole of the offending shoes. It worked for a pair of runners that I had just bought that were so bad that they made noises even on carpet.

So there you are, the wisdom of the ages. I love sharing the things that are happening and the things that I have the privilege of learning as we go through life, with all of you. Even more important than maple syrup and dryer sheets, I am learning to not only appreciate the wonder of life, but also to look always for the good. Sometimes I still blow it and dwell on the sad facts, but hopefully as time passes, that will happen less and less.

One step forward....and how many back?

We've gotten a lot done since July 31st and I have to keep reminding myself of that periodically. It's probably good too that I used to watch that tv show called Real Reno's and saw the homeowners repeatedly lamenting on how long it was taking to finish their job, and then to see the end of the show where they were beaming and thrilled with the changes. I'm only bringing this up because as I am sitting here, I can hear the horses stomping around on the wooden floor in the barn and over in the corner behind me (yes, in the family room), I can hear the periodic drip of water kerplunking into the slowly filling saucepan. If we could just get a single room DONE, I would feel so good but.....

Hurricane Noel is responsible for Ambra and Sierra being stuck in the barn until the shelter is re-finished. Right now and overnight, the weather has been miserable. Last night, the wind howled and then brought snow and today it is raining bigtime, and they've been in the barn since 5:00 yesterday. So they need to get out. Later, when I go out to clean stalls, I'll put them out in the riding ring. Then they'll thank me when I come to put them back in the barn. As far as the shelter is concerned, we got the walls back up and poles set in the ground. Now I have to take the roof apart so that we can rebuild it. But we ran out of light and then the weather was bad the next day so....the horses are stuck in the barn!

As for the drip, the previous owners had a leak a few years ago, got the roof re-done, and I am thinking that the hurricane somehow affected the the flashings or ? Anyway, I went up in the attic and found the spot where the water is getting in, but it will be at least a few days I would think before we'll be able to get someone here to remedy the problem. At least we know where the water is coming in right. Unfortunately, we have bulges in several places where the drip has come through behind the paint so now we will be fixing walls and paint jobs and then replacing the insulation that we had blown into the attic. As I said, one step forward....

On a brighter note, the photo is one that Don took of Sierra a couple years ago. Isn't she gorgeous!!!! I love this photo because he caught her spirit completely.

Hurricane Noel

There is so much going on in our lives right now. I feel like we have been racing the calender to get a bunch of things done before the winter winds and snow came and stopped us in our tracks at least as far as outdoor stuff was concerned. I worked feverishly on my horse fence and then my sawdust bin and finally the windbreak/shelter and was so pleased when those things were done. And then along came Hurricane Noel. The fence was fine, the bin is still full of sawdust, but my shelter is no more! There must have been a few good gusts that just came along and picked it right up, pulled the posts clean out of the ground and deposited it a few feet away and upside down.

The morning after the wind, I walked over to the window and opened up the curtains, and as my gaze rested upon the shelter, at first it just didn't register. It was a moment or two before I realized that it looked so odd because it was upside down, and another moment before I totally comprehended what had happened. All my work and effort to get it done, gone in a moment. As I stood there, with the sound of the tv on beside me, I could here the weather channel on and of course, they were talking about the hurricanes after-effects and they were talking about 500,000 people in Mexico not having homes anymore, and suddenly, my shelter seemed inconsequential by comparison. I was standing inside my house with my hot coffee cup in hand and in so many places people were wading through flood waters or standing in front of a pile of rubble that used to be their little house. We are so blessed and it would be a sad commentary on me, I think, if I were to waste energy whining about this event.

Well, today, we went out with the tractor, and made an effort to flip it back over. Unfortunately, what the wind could do in a moment, we were not able to undo. We did manage to get the first move without to much damage to the structure, but the second move was not so good largely because the one end is relatively unsupported as it is a two sided windbreak. At this point, we have decided to begin dismantling it systematically and then rebuild it in a new, less windy location. Don has promised to help me put it back up so it will go a lot faster this time, and especially as I have already done it once and everything is cut already. So there you go, another Nova Scotia experience. And life goes on, and there is still a smile on our faces, and one more thing for us to remember in years to come.

On Writing.

Words, music, --- music, words. Emotions, feelings, thoughts and ideas. These I think are the things that have moved the course of time in the world of men. Even in the natural world, there is a soundless river of music that wends its way through the forest glen, across the mountain top, along the banks of the river. To listen to a piece of music whether it be a young persons rap, an old persons rock, or the quiet plaintive strains of a a sweetly played violin in a classical piece, is cause to move a persons heart and activate their soul just as deeply as looking out over the beautiful valley or gazing up at the majesty of the rugged mountain peak. They each conspire to elicit that moment of awe, that "aha" sigh that comes when we sink into the sounds that swirl around the listener or lay eyes upon the worlds beauty.

And when words are put on paper, they have incredible power too. In the arena of politics, they shape societies, build up or all too often destroy lives. The words inside a card, quickly written, convey a sense of togetherness from one person to another. Or they can paint a picture fraught with beauty and delicacy, powerful in its ability to move the reader and inspire to greater acts of heroism than they had ever dreamed possible, or simply to revel in a new emotion. I have at times thought I would like to be a writer. To be the person who touches the hearts of others, brings to life new worlds, new experiences. When I was young I escaped into my books, reading voraciously, everything that I could get my hands on. I can remember walking to school, with my newest treasure balanced on the top of the pile, reading and only aware of the traffic around as was necessary to avoid being hit by a car as I crossed the streets.

But then my children came, and out of necessity, I put down my other worlds, my books. A novel needs to be savoured and experienced and these things are hard to do when the act of sitting down is a signal to small children to climb up on mommy and use her for a jungle gym to relieve their boredom. So the books were laid aside and little hands were clasped instead.

But now the children are grown and living lives of their own and perhaps in these new, quieter years of my life, I will pick up where I left off. Life is just a series of cycles and phases, taken up and put away. All I need is to find my reading glasses and maybe the next phase will indeed be a continuation of the first. As for writing, well, I don't think that is something that will happen save for the occasional letter to someone I love but I find that more often these days, the words that came to mind so easily, are getting stopped at the border as it were, and try as I might, they can't cross over and I am forced to settle for another, possibly with less impact than the one that is just there at the tip of my brain. So writing, probably not, reading quite likely.

Our Girls...

It's been a week since Holly and Sean went home...The first couple days were a little tough after they left. We'd been looking forward to Kim and Oliver and Liams visit, then Holly and Seans and suddenly I felt a little like there was nothing left to look forward to. But I kept busy and soon the feeling passed and now I just look forward to the next time I talk to them or the next time we see them. The time spent with all of them was wonderful and we are just incredibly blessed that our kids are our friends!

So anyway, this one picture is Holly posing with the "super"blueberry of Oxford. Guess which one is Holly. Then there is one here of Don and Sean taking pictures in Mahone Bay. The weather through most of their visit was just what you see in this photo. And the last was taken at Hopewell Rocks in New Brunswick. The tide was out far enough so that we could wander in amongst these worn formations for a while. But knowing how quickly the tide comes in in the Bay of Fundy, we were careful to keep an eye on the water.

So there you are, how we spent our summer vacation! Well, maybe our autumn vacation is more accurate. Whatever, it was fabulous seeing both of the girls and their families. I think they had a good time too. I know that Sean is looking forward to the next time they come, hopefully Holly too, and seeing that Kim and Oliver are travelling with a child, I'm not sure how they feel about the idea, but what the heck, it was fun, no matter what they decide. How wonderful when your children are your best friends. I am so lucky!

The colours, oh the colours, they are glorious!!!

Kim and Oliver were here and the change of foliage colours had begun. And as the time passed, we kept our fingers crossed that a big wind and a sudden cold snap wouldn't bring down the rest of the leaves so that when Holly and Sean came, the trees might be bare and brown and decidedly unattractive. But we've been lucky and the "Nova Scotia quilt" lays languidly across the land, charming all who look with fresh and seeing eyes. It is so beautiful, glowing reds and golds and all the shades between.

Holly and Sean have enjoyed their time here so far. Like Kim, Holly loved Lunenburg, although I don't know that she would choose to live there - nice place to visit and all that sort of thing. But with the weather being absolutely perfect, warm and sunny, this time of year couldn't be better there. No crowds and the shops still open for visitors...couldn't be better.

Today, while Don and Sean went hunting for photo- ops, Holly and I went for a ride on the horses. We rode up along the blueberry roads behind our place. And this might sound very repetitive, but it was so beautiful. It felt like we were on the top of the world up there. So peaceful, only the sound of the birds calling in the trees and the red blueberry plants, spread out like a glowing carpet at our feet and covering the distant rolling hills too. It was so much fun in a quiet sort of way. Then a little bit of ring work before we untacked them and put them back in their paddock.

Tomorrow we will go to Pictou, and then the next day we will go to some place in New Brunswick where the waves have worn away the cliffs and formed intriguing pillars of rock. It's raining right now, but maybe by morning, the clouds will blow away and it will be another gorgeous day. I have my fingers crossed.

The studio that Don built.....For me!

I have a fabulous studio and I am the luckiest woman around. It isn't finished yet, but when it is, it will be just the coolest. We had the wrong size window delivered and rather than send it back, Don suggested we have it put into the room that I was going to use as a studio for my art work. So David installed it yesterday and I can't help myself, I keep running upstairs to look out it. I can see Ambra and Sierra in the shelter that I built, and I can see our fields almost entirely, and I can see our woods, and the beautiful Nova Scotia skyscapes, and I can see or at least will be able to see part of my garden from a different angle. If I am up that early, the sunrise would be spectacular from there too.

Right now, though the walls are a dark, very dark green and the middle of the room is stacked high with boxes. But I am vowing that by my birthday, at the latest, I will have a functioning studio with things put away, walls painted, pictures on the wall....it will be wonderful. For right now though, I have been focusing on getting things outside done before the temperature drops below zero, and on things done so that Kim and Holly's (and the guys (and kidlet too)) visit is nice. Like a bedroom with a bed and clean carpet to walk on, etc. But before long, I won't be able to resist throwing a coat of paint on those walls and getting started.

I won't be doing any pottery here as we don't have a big enough electric box to push a kiln, but I will probably make some more dolls, just for fun, and do some painting and well, whatever else comes to mind. The stoneware sculpture is one that I gave some friends who live in Surrey, the cake is the the one I made and decorated for Holly and Sean's wedding and the painting is based on a sketch that I did, oh my goodness, maybe 20 years ago? But the question is, is there any creativity left in me? We shall see.

Oh my goodness, we will miss them...

Kim and Oliver and our dear little "buggie", went home today. Ten days went by so fast, and we had such a great time with them. The weather was good and I think they got to see some things that they liked. Hey Kim, did you guys have a good time?

Hey we had a different experience one day. We'd gone to Pugwash and saw a little closed antique store with a note on the window. It said, "If you wish to see the store, please come across the street and someone there will come and open up for you". So that seemed reasonable, but when Don went over there, the lady said there was no one else to stay in her store while she opened up for us. So she handed Don the keys and said here open up and if you see something you want to buy, just bring it back over to her and we could pay her there. So here we are, total strangers and we spent the next half hour poking around in her little antique store. Isn't that amazing? And I hasten to add, we had never met her before. We were so amazed. That would never have happened in Langley that's for sure.

We went to Prince Edward Island one day, and got to see the Anne of Green Gables cottage. Kim wanted to make them an offer on it, but I don't think they would have accepted it, no matter how high. It is a lovely little old time cottage, and PEI is such a tidy province. My goodness, so tidy.

Then we went to Lunenburg and Mahone Bay and finished off at Peggy's cove. Kim absolutely LOVED Lunenburg, and even though they lived in the middle of nowhere on Vancouver Island and LOVED that, she was willing to put up with the summer crowds of Lunenburg, if only she could live in one of the old time houses there. I think maybe she was born in the wrong time or something.

And as for Liam, well even though he came down with a cold, he was a little charmer. On his worst day, he slept most of the day, and hardly wanted his bottle at all, but that only lasted a day or so and then he was on the mend. Such a sweet little boy, we just love him.

Today was hectic, getting things packed and organized. Trying not to forget anything. She bought a bunch of little souvenirs, pictures, antique postcards, shells to use in her art... she was like a little kid looking through her presents when she was showing them to me. I love the little watercolor of Lunenburg that she bought at a coffee shop. I am not as impulsive as Kim, which is a good thing because I saw so many lovely things...but I just try to remind myself that these things become things to dust.

So we had a good time with them and we'll miss their faces, but we will talk lots. And next year will be our turn to visit I guess.

Give Me Shelter...

The Rolling Stones wrote a song called "Give Me Shelter" and I swear that that is what I heard Ambra and Sierra humming one day out in the rain between bouts of shivering and so this is what I built for my ponies. I set the posts myself, just to see if I could manage it, and then when I had done that, I just carried on. I still have one sheet of roofing to put up but that will come in the next day or so.

So they use it in the rain and they use it in the wind and they use it on sunny days. And I don't have to feel sad for them when the weather is icky. I also built the bin for the sawdust myself and then Don used his tractor to push it further in. Tomorrow I will tarp it to keep the rain off. Yessiree, things are getting organized so that caring for the horses is less difficult come winter.

I'm so pleased. I love it when things are right! When things work or are practical, when stuff makes sense. And I don't like it when people have animals and don't take care of them so this meets my criteria. I feel good about the work I did and my ponies feel good.

Expectations....

I think that there is a song called "Three O'clock in the Morning" or maybe those are some of the words in a song, but it is three o'clock in the morning right now which is maybe why I thought of the song. I feel like we have so much to do before Kim and Oliver and Holly and Sean come for a visit, and I wonder which of that long list will not get done. Oh well, it's better than it was and they are here for us, not the house, right?

I read a paragraph in a book and it said " - and I suggest that it is your judgements which keep you from joy, and your expectations which make you unhappy". When you expect you leave yourself open to disappointment. To allow the moment to be enough is a choice that we can make and prevents those disappointments that cause us sadness or anger in varying degrees. In my life, unknowingly, I have practised this philosophy a bit. For example, I have never insisted that my family remember my birthday and have always been somewhat surprised and pleased when they did. Mothers Day is another day that bugs me. I think that you must raise your children when they are young, to be honest, kind, trustworthy, etc. But if you raise them with the expectation that they will meet your needs as they become adults, you are asking for trouble. They are different people than you, and their choices will be different than yours would be in the same situation very often. The things that are important to them are not of value to you so to expect from them is setting yourself up for grief to come. If you don't expect them to remember your birthday, and they don't, then you won't feel bad. If you don't expect them to want to come over every Sunday for dinner, and their lives become so busy and full that they don't, then you won't feel bad. If you don't expect them to seek and follow your advice in every instance, and they find their own path in all things, then you won't feel bad.

Instead, watch with interest and acceptance, the route that they travel as they go through their lives. And if they seek your advice ocassionally, or if they remember your birthday this year, then live in that moment and enjoy the joy that that rememberance brings.

Ambra met the vet today!

I had to call the vet today for Ambra. She is such a piggie and it got her into trouble today. I used to feed them pellets all the time remember? But I haven't been able to find a basic pellet like that here and the basic mix that they have here for horses is actually more oats and corn and a teeny bit of pellets. Well she wolfed her pellets down and it got stuck in her throat. I sure sympathised with the feeling that she had. So she is standing there, sort of paralysed with anxiety and drooling and foaming at the mouth and every so often getting stiff and straining to swallow, sort of. Well it wasn't more than ten minutes of watching her and I decided to call the vet. So the vet came and tubed her which consists of pushing a big tube through her nose and down into her stomach and then we poured numerous containers of water into the tube to wash it all down. She was so good about the whole thing, I was amazed. Didn't fuss hardly at all. You would have been so proud of your magic pony. She is a grumpy girl but she is still a good horse. So anyhow, now she has big rocks in her feed bucket so that she is forced to push them aside in order to eat them in little bits instead of big mouthfuls.

Anyway, just thought you might like to hear about the latest about one of my girls.

Loves of my life...

I was just going through my pictures and saw some of my favourite folks. Aren't they a good looking bunch? And especially the really little one. And little Liam loves his Grandpa. You can tell by his smile, little cutie.