34 Years and Counting

Today is the fifteenth of August which means that Don and I have been married for 34 years and 11 days! The countdown for the next 34 years has begun. Just think, in only a couple years I'll be sleeping with an OLD MAN! There was a time when the mere thought would have inspired a series of shudders followed by a snort and a "not on my watch". But here we are 34 years later and I've resigned myself to the senior citizen (soon) bed partner and I can only hope that Don will extend me the same consideration when my day comes. Time marches on and on and on and......

For our anniversary we loaded the kayaks and went up to Cariboo River which is just this side of Pictou. Quiet and pretty area but, unfortunately, we left all four cameras in the car so we have no photos of the day! And the pictures we missed! Coming around one bend in the river, protected from the light breeze, the water was like a mirror. I looked over at Don in his kayak and if I'd taken a picture, I could turn it upside down and you would never be able to tell which way was right side up because there wasn't a ripple to give away the truth. We also took Diesel and Max and they have little lifejackets which keeps them safe. The best position for them we found, was sitting right on the top and just ahead of the cockpit. They just kind of laid down there and watched the river banks go by, the eagles overhead and the kingfishers diving. It was so much fun and so incredibly peaceful too. I just wish we had photos and all I can say is next time. For sure.

I think that for all the hours that we've spent together, and there have been many having had our own business that we ran out of our home, we've done pretty good. We still love each other and as importantly, we like each others company more than anyone elses. We know when to give each other space, and we know when to give in to each other. And we know when stamping a foot is likely to get us what we want. All in all, it's been a pretty good 34 years and having said that, let the counting continue.......!

Fear is only a memory...

What is fear? - how does it come? Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday's pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear...... Thought is the response of memory. - Taken from Beyond Violence by J. Krishnamurti

So fear is brought about by thought and my thoughts, as are all thoughts, are the result of memories. The unfortunate thing in this instance, is that I love working in my garden, moving plants from here to there in a never ending pursuit of the perfect "look", sort of like rearranging the furniture, only outside. And while I have never been afraid of getting my hands dirty, there is one thing and one thing alone, that can strike fear, nay, terror into my heart.....can make my heart pound, my ears ring and send me from one side of the yard to the other in less time than it takes for Don to say "let's have pie". Did you notice in the middle of the symphony of colorful garden shots the source of my fear? Laying quietly, waiting for me, so that it can wiggle just a little so that it can then settle back and watch the show that I put on as I spot it and then sprint out of its deadly range? I'm sure they sit and laugh, absolutely positive they do and not only they, but if anyone was going by just at that moment would also.

My sister Wendy and I had the opportunity during several summers to visit at Uncle Harvey and Aunt Sarah's. It was on one of those visits that the incident, which caused the memory, which causes the thought, which has caused the fear ever since, first occurred. I can remember it as though it was yesterday. As I stood in the dooryard, with Uncle Harvey's truck on one side of me, paying as little attention as most children do when lost in their daydreams, Wendy approached from around the other side of the pickup. Hearing her, I turned and as I did, she handed me a carton, said "hold this for a minute" and then walked away. As I stood there with the carton in my hands I glanced over to where she was moving away, and as I did so, there was a slight tremble in the carton and then several garter snakes, pushed through the slightly folded down top and hung down across my hands for a moment before dropping to the ground. Thus it began, my memory, my fear.

As an ethical vegan, there is no way I would ever go on a rampage, bent on wreaking havoc and destruction in the snake world. Just wouldn't happen, but at the same time, no matter how much I reason with myself and explain how these little (to me they look huge!) snakes are so necessary in the ecosystem, I just can't stay in the same fifty foot radius as them. Last night I replaced a big rock that had gotten dislodged on the culvert at the driveway and today as we mowed around the culvert, we disturbed TWO ENORMOUS snakes! If I had discovered them last night as I was replacing the rock, well I just would'nt be here to type this post today. I would have had a heart attack, that would have been the end of me.

Practical jokes can be funny sometimes, but they can also be the beginning of something that never ends. We are in the country, there are snakes around and I will just have to be careful when I garden. But when the day comes, that we cannot care for this large property and make the transition to an apartment (or an old folks home), there is one thing that I will NOT miss. Can you guess what it is?