Love Propels

For the past few years, as we have been planning our retirement, one of the things that was important to me was that we find a place where Ambra and Sierra can happily end their days, and when that time is come, that they be buried there. To never live the "Black Beauty" story, to never face the fear of the auction yard....and here in Oxford, we have found that place. The choices that Don and I have made have been the fulfillment of that particular desire. My animals are important to me. We had a little budgie named Oliver. The first time I ever saw him was as a pin-feathery chick, still about two weeks away from being able to come home with us. We had him in our family for eleven years and he charmed us endlessly. He learned a few words, and he loved to be out and about. He enjoyed marching around the table when we were eating our dinner, and sampling the food on our plate. That's not too bad unless of course he decided that he preferred taste testing from the middle of a pile of spaghetti which was one of his all time favourite foods. There came a day when we knew that he would leave us any moment, and for that day, my life was on hold. I sat with him cradled in a a soft cloth, held in my hands. The hours passed, my tears flowed and then one tiny last breath and it was over. We didn't bury him, but instead cremated him, to free his little birdie soul to the air forever. So my animals are important to me and I believe that the choices that we make with regards to not only our own lives but to the lives of the creatures that are dependent on us, make obvious to others, the kind of person that we are.

A thing that has come of our moving to Oxford, that we didn't expect at all is meeting a nice couple named Bob and Sue. I may have mentioned them previously, but just in case, to recap, he is retired, was born into the gypsy way of life (a Traveller as they refer to themselves) and she is a guard at the penitentiary here. Bob loaned me a book that he had enjoyed called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. I enjoyed it so much, that I purchased my own copy and I've read it and reread it and will read it again. The portion that I read this morning made me think of Kim and Oliver and their little Liam. New parents with such an important job ahead of them. I thought that for all those parents out there who might be reading this blog, that I would share a bit here.

{So now, as parents, spouses, and loved ones, seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather a magnet that first attracts, then turns around and repels, lest those who are attracted begin to believe they must stick to you to survive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be more damaging to another.
Let your love propel your beloveds into the world - and into the full experience of who they are. In this will you have truly loved.}

Isn't that fabulous! Too often, we want to hold our beloved hostage to our own neediness, or as mom's and dad's, we ache when our children struggle in life and want to jump in there and fix the situation for them. But I think that it is far more profitable for them if they know that whatever their decisions, whatever the results, we will be a safe harbour when their emotions are raw and they need sympathy or understanding, or someone to talk to.