The Tiny Reprieve

The last time that we got together here, the images were as in the depths of winter, drifts of snow piled up against the car, blanketing the driveway, and the thoughts that crossed my mind were much the same, with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads and snuggling down for a long winters nap, and all that sort of thing.

Tomorrow is the first of December and we've gotten a tiny reprieve from the inevitable layer upon layer of the white stuff since then. The snow has been melting gradually and today I felt that it would be a crime to let it pass us by so I put a saddle on Sierra and then the three of us went for a walk. I didn't get to go up into the woods unfortunately because the heavy snow had bent many of the little birch saplings down across the trail so that it was impassable on horseback. In the summer, I think that Don and I will take out some of them back ten feet or so from the trails so that next year, the trails stay open. Oh well, the sun was shining, only a slight breeze and I didn't get dumped. I think if I had different horses, maybe a couple of old bomb-proof quarter horses, I wouldn't always feel so blessed that I ended the ride on top of the horse. But Ambra and Sierra are Arabs through and through and in some regards match the stereotypes perfectly. I've often thought that while some horses would succumb in a crisis very quickly, because my girls are so reactive, they would survive much longer because they're immediate inclination is to head for the hills. Fortunately for me, they are very well behaved and well trained so they listen pretty good.

I've spent so many of the moments that I have alloted to me, waiting for the other shoe to fall, certain that something was going to go wrong, even in the midst of a good life. But I think that I am finally learning to live "in the now" and to appreciate this day, this hour, this moment, without the fear that it might be taken away. I suppose that my early way of looking at life would have been considered very pessimistic. Don on the other hand, has always been much more optimistic. While I am agonizing over whether or not we could/should take a chance on retiring at the time that we did, Don was always the one encouraging me that it will all work out, it'll be just fine.

The thing is, when you are always waiting for the worst, you get so caught up, that it gets very easy to not enjoy what is good about today. So today, I went riding over the hills and snowy fields, and I made a point of noticing all my blessings and right now, it is all just fine.