Expectations....

I think that there is a song called "Three O'clock in the Morning" or maybe those are some of the words in a song, but it is three o'clock in the morning right now which is maybe why I thought of the song. I feel like we have so much to do before Kim and Oliver and Holly and Sean come for a visit, and I wonder which of that long list will not get done. Oh well, it's better than it was and they are here for us, not the house, right?

I read a paragraph in a book and it said " - and I suggest that it is your judgements which keep you from joy, and your expectations which make you unhappy". When you expect you leave yourself open to disappointment. To allow the moment to be enough is a choice that we can make and prevents those disappointments that cause us sadness or anger in varying degrees. In my life, unknowingly, I have practised this philosophy a bit. For example, I have never insisted that my family remember my birthday and have always been somewhat surprised and pleased when they did. Mothers Day is another day that bugs me. I think that you must raise your children when they are young, to be honest, kind, trustworthy, etc. But if you raise them with the expectation that they will meet your needs as they become adults, you are asking for trouble. They are different people than you, and their choices will be different than yours would be in the same situation very often. The things that are important to them are not of value to you so to expect from them is setting yourself up for grief to come. If you don't expect them to remember your birthday, and they don't, then you won't feel bad. If you don't expect them to want to come over every Sunday for dinner, and their lives become so busy and full that they don't, then you won't feel bad. If you don't expect them to seek and follow your advice in every instance, and they find their own path in all things, then you won't feel bad.

Instead, watch with interest and acceptance, the route that they travel as they go through their lives. And if they seek your advice ocassionally, or if they remember your birthday this year, then live in that moment and enjoy the joy that that rememberance brings.